SIL and Christmas day. AIBU? Or is she?

[PrawnToast12]

I have just had a new baby, and also have a nearly two year old. This Christmas is a busy one. On Christmas eve, we plan to spend the day with FIL and SIL, boxing day we are travelling 1 hour away to spend the day with my mum and her family, then on the 27th we are spending the day with my dad and his family. SIL and FIL have also been invited to my mums on boxing day if they wish.
As we are so busy, and we have such young children, I would like to have Christmas dinner just the four of us, watch movies, stay in our PJs and just have some alone time as a family to play with toddler etc. I don't want Christmas to pass in a blur of travelling and hosting.
We have said that SIL and FIL are more than welcome to come on Christmas day morning to see the children if they like, but we would like the afternoon to ourselves.
We have spent the past two Christmas's (sp?) and New Year with them too. MIL died a few years ago, so it will just be those two if they don't have dinner with us. FIL's sister and daughters lives round the corner (they are close and see each other a few times a week), but not really sure why they don't spend Christmas together.

OH told SIL our plans, and she seems to be annoyed. Saying that 'Christmas is for families' and why are they not allowed to come round. I really don't want to fall out over this, and I probably will end up caving, which I didn't want to do. But I am starting to feel really guilty.

AIBU in wanting to spend Christmas day afternoon with just us four? Should I reconsider? Prepared to be told that I am being mean!

watching I totally agree.

Don't cave! I've spent years driving for hours every christmas day - taking my kids away from their new toys - just to please other people. People who never tire of telling me how lovely it is to have christmas at home.

I think you'd be wise to set a precedent this year, however hard it may be, and in future years they won't be surprised if that's going to be how you spend christmas day.

I can't see that it's in any way mean at all for the OP to want just the afternoon for her, DH and babies when they are seeing FIL and SIL Christmas eve, Christmas Morning AND they have an invite for Boxing day! Why can't they go for a nice walk? Go to the local for a few hours? Go back home and watch cheesy films with a tin of Quality Street? OP YANBU!! And NOT bloody mean!

You're feeling a bit mean because it is a wee bit mean. Can't imagine telling family not to come christmas day tbh. You have the most precious christmassy thing of all in your life, your gorgeous children. Your fil has lost his wife. That part of his life is over and no wonder he would like to spend some time with you on christmas day. Can you not have a pyjama day some other day?

Christmas is about family not exclusion.

I have to say I agree with Wiltingfast.

Just the two of them does seem a bit lonely.

And how will you expect them to leave on Christmas morning? Could be awkward.

I think SIL is BU. You have a newborn! And you're seeing her lots anyway.

Completely reasonable, but IIWY I would claim Christmas morning/lunch time as your little family quiet time and tell them they can come over after... ?3? that way you can open presents together, sit in pjs and have a casual lunch and sit in bed and watch TV or whatever without worrying that they will overstay.

So a mix of opinions! SIL and FIL could go to FIL's sisters house who also lives round the corner, with her daughters if they didn't want to be just the two of them. I have no relationship problems with either of them...just that I can't fully relax in SIL's company - but accept that is completely my issue not hers.

Agreeing with Wibbly. Newborn and toddler, especially newborn means you get to decide anything you want in terms of hosting/socialising and I think you are being more than fair socialising three times in three days with a newborn.