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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to ask the postman to go and get the parcel he left with a neighbour?

66 replies

WeAreEternal · 30/11/2014 16:38

Last week the postman left a parcel with a neighbour a few doors away, usually this neighbour refuses all parcels, she makes a huge fuss if she is even asked and our regular postie knows this.
I also have a porch,with a little sign clearly asking parcels to be left there or signed for items to be left next door or taken back to the depot, so I have no idea why they felt the need to leave it with anyone else.

For the last five days I have been around and knocked multiple times a day, I know the neighbour is in as I can see lights and the tv and one evening could even see her through the window but she just ignores the knocking/bell and refuses to answer the door.

Obviously she answers the door to the postman, so WIBU to ask him to go back around and get my parcel when he is on our street tomorrow morning?

OP posts:
Ifyourawizardwhydouwearglasses · 01/12/2014 11:52

Posted too soon - I might be tempted to ring 101 to get the police to check on her.
Either she's ok and just being difficult, in which case it may make her think again another time, or she's had a fall/similar and you've done her a favour.

Win win?

NorksEnormous · 01/12/2014 11:53

Have you actually seen her?

waithorse · 01/12/2014 11:54

Marking my place. I have to know how this pans out.

merrymouse · 01/12/2014 11:55

A bit odd that she would accept the parcel but not answer the door.

I don't think its a problem to ask the postman for help, particularly if it would clarify whether there is something wrong or whether she is just being a bit difficult.

Nanny0gg · 01/12/2014 11:57

I think your postperson was doing a good job leaving the parcel with a neighbour

Why? The OP has left a note on her porch with specific instructions. Which he ignored and has now caused a fair amount of trouble.

Not helpful at all.

GreenGrassStains · 01/12/2014 21:02

What was in the parcel?

Crabstick · 01/12/2014 21:35

Yeah what's the parcel?

spamanderson · 01/12/2014 21:44

Very strange to accept a parcel when she obviously doesn't want to.. I often get posters and couriers knocking on mine to deliver parcels for neighbours, I only refuse one because they are knobheads and only one courier has been Arsey with me.

Looking forward to hearing about the outcome!

giraffescantboogie · 01/12/2014 21:47

waft freshly cooked bacon through the letter box?Wink Wink

Original poster
WeAreEternal · 02/12/2014 15:01

Sorry to have not come back yesterday.

I looked out for the postman but had a work call and must have missed him, I went around again before I went to work for the afternoon and when I got home and then again last night, as usual there were lights on and I could hear the tv but no answer although I think I saw her in the lounge.

I've been around again this morning and decided to go around the back and knock on the back door (detached house so easy to do) but still no answer.

I don't really know the neighbour, I occasionally see her in her front garden in the summer and say hello but Thats about it.
I'm not nosey but she does have her tv close to her big lounge window and whenever I walk past it's always on, she has blinds but they are rarely closed so even from the street you can see it.

I did knock on the window when I saw her the other day, I waved but she just walked out of sight.
She is definitely not dead or injured, or wasn't then.
I wouldnt peer through the window though, the neighbours would talk.

I did however walk slowly past the window yesterday and had a good look and I'm 90% sure she was sitting on the sofa watching tv.

I tried to find her phone number online last night but I don't think she is listed.

The parcel is some things I bought on amazon in the Black Friday lightning deals, although I bought quite a few things so I have no idea what's in that parcel, only one other thing had arrived so far.

I don't think I could call the police about it, that would also make the neighbours talk.

OP posts:
spamanderson · 02/12/2014 15:31

Have you written her a note? So what are your options then?
You leave her to it and let her keep your parcel?
You call the non emergency police number and ask for their advice?
You tackle the postman and see if he will get the parcel back for you (not sure if he's obliged to do that though)
Or report the parcel not arrived to Amazon?
Personally I'd let the neighbours talk and call the police.

101handbags · 02/12/2014 15:46

Can you put a note through to explain the attempts you have made to contact her and collect the parcel. Perhaps now say please leave the parcel outside her front door (not yours) between x an y time (when you will be able to collect it straight away) on x day. Say that you will then be able to pick it up without disturbing her and she will not have to bring it to your house or even leave the house. Say if you do not do this you may have to assume she is wilfully keeping hold of the parcel.

eddiemairswife · 02/12/2014 15:50

Do you know of any other neighbours who she is friendly with? Perhaps if you explain the situation to them they might be able to retrieve the parcel for you.

NotYouNaanBread · 02/12/2014 16:12

I would be a bit of a bitch and call the local police station and tell them that I have been knocking for several days to retrieve a parcel, but although the lights and television are on, she is not answering and I believe that she may be hurt. They'll go around and deal with her.

It's not entirely wasting police time because at this rate that's what it's going to take to get your parcel back.

ProbablyMe · 02/12/2014 16:37

Technically the parcel is the responsibility of the company sending it until it arrives with you. I watch far too much consumer telly......

cherrybombxo · 02/12/2014 16:45

TooSpotty That must be specific to that office because my DP is a postie and he was ranting to me several weeks ago about how much more work goes into trying to deliver a parcel as the new guidelines are to try both neighbours rather than just one. And if the person lives in a flat they are to try everyone on the floor, plus the flat above and below.

Original poster
WeAreEternal · 02/12/2014 16:50

I put a note through on Sunday afternoon as advised.

I'm hoping to be able to catch the postman and ask him to go and get it, I don't know what other option I have.

She isn't friendly with any other neighbours, we are a row of only five houses and she treats every neighbour the same, the rest of us are all quite friendly.

A note suggesting she leave it outside at a certain time is a good idea.

OP posts:
justmuddlingalong · 02/12/2014 16:53

Anything Amazon can do?

Vivacia · 02/12/2014 16:55

Are you sure she's not dead?

Wishtoremainunknown · 02/12/2014 16:59

I would also do the police thing.

Lj8893 · 02/12/2014 17:07

I wouldn't be calling the police to do a welfare check unless i was concerned about her.
however, she is taking the piss and i would be putting a note through her door explaining that you are now considering this as theft and will be contacting the police.

hopefully that will wake her up a bit!

LeopardInABobbleHat · 02/12/2014 17:21

Could she have some form of dementia? It's odd to take a parcel in then behave as if it's an imposition. I think I'd phone 101 and see if they can suggest something that's not going in all heavy handed.

Whereisegg · 02/12/2014 17:22

I think the note suggesting a time is good, followed by the 'consider it theft' one if no joy.

TsukuruTazaki · 02/12/2014 17:57

She is a cheeky mare.

I would be wary of calling police as they are stretched enough as it is, however if she is not responding to notes or knocking I would be concerned she has no intention of returning it and wants to flog the Black Friday goods on eBay or something, which obviously is a police matter!

Monathevampire1 · 02/12/2014 18:07

She has taken the parcel in and won't give it to the rightful recipient so it's theft. Ring the post office and explain what has happened they should sort it out. If they won't or can't then you are going to have to report it to police.