to think that i should not have to pay for the school's mistake?

[Kitsmummy]

This year the children at school have each done a Christmas card design and parents were able to buy the cards at 6 per pack.

So I duly bought my two packs (one pack per child) and a couple of week's later they were sent home. I noticed they'd sent two packs of my son's cards, I gave it about 2 seconds thought, figured I must have ordered the wrong amount of cards (the form was quite complicated) and thought nothing more of it. I certainly didn't think that someone else might have ordered my son's cards. My children wrote all their cards straight away (I am right in the middle of a divorce/house move and want to get things crossed off the list straight away at the moment).

Then yesterday the school emails everyone asking if anyone has been sent extra packs of cards as they were ordered by and paid for by the teachers. I immediately replied, explained I assumed i'd ordered in error, the cards have already been written but I think there are a few spare ones at home that I can send back in and a few spare cards of my daughters that I can send too (knowing that obviously they haven't been bought by a parent so I thought my daughter's might be an appropriate substitute).

School have replied saying it's the Headmistresses cards and she wants to be re-imbursed for them, as she bought packs of my son's and daughter's cards.

Now firstly, I only received one pack of my daughter's cards so I'm not reimbursing the headmistress for an extra pack that I never received, but AIBU to think it's a bit off to demand payment for their mistake and they should just take it out of the profit for the cards? I know my kids wrote on them but I didn't give it any thought other than initially assuming I ordered an extra pack by mistake. I should also mention that I support the school in lots of other ways, attending functions, sending in stuff for school fayres blah blah blah.

Now i am going to pay, I don't want a falling out with the Headmistress, but I'm pissed off because I think it's a bloody cheek and the school should be covering this error. And also perhaps the fact that I straight away offered (before being asked for payment) to send the few spare cards that I have left back in should be enough.

But it's personal choice as to whether you want to make Jack identifiable and give out details of what school he attends. If it's not an issue, then you can say yes. If it is an issue (for the example I gave previously), then you can say no. What is wrong with asking?

No harm in asking, but calling it creepy and weird is very strange.

You did receive and use the cards, so you should really pay for them.

As for the teacher ordering them, even though they are by your child(ren?). They must be quite nice cards.

And I just have to say, you must be very organized. I hadn't even thought about sending cards yet. Better get my skates on.

The company that sent the cards is at fault here, presumably, or the headteacher for filling out the form incorrectly. Either way, it's not the OP's fault.

I get sent artwork coasters in the post, and you'll never persuade me to pay for those, whether I return, bin, or use them.

wilf - you say if I was that bothered I should have raised the issue before the cards were used...spectacularly missing the point that the cards were used well before I knew there was an issue.

Anyway, thanks for all the opinions, glad it wasn't a unanimous I am being unreasonable! I'm going to pay for them, not going to say anything to the Head and I'll let it go now

i bought two packs of school cards and my generous son managed to give them to all his girlfriends (unwritten)and i haven't even seen them!!!! i was very cross he is 5 by the way. an unorthodox way of spreading christmas cheer i guess.

Oh and I will add that on the order form you get to choose whether your child's name is there or not etc. HT would've had to do a form and make those choices when it's not his or her place to do so.

What on earth is wrong with that? The head presumably states on her form that the child's name shouldn't be given on the cards she orders. Problem solved.

YANBU at all. We've just done this, no one bought anyone else's cards.
It wouldn't have occurred to me.

The head sounds ridiculously unreasonable. Is she usually this petty?

Most Primary head teachers are head of Safeguarding. They should be the last person thinking it is okay to dish out labelled items, without checking with the parent or carer.

And the name might be very identifiable. We don't know. I know two adopted children who were given unique names by birth parents on purpose to make the children easy to track down.

is this some sort of stealth boast because your dc must be so talented for the head to choose their cards ? . You used them , you pay . You could so easily have checked re the extra packet before allowing them to be written - in November ?

In this case, the drawings have been created for personal use for the family - they don't 'belong' to the school, so the school should ask

Probably not, in fact. The pictures were created on the school's paper and, I suspect, using the school's paint.

So sorry LIZS, it's obviously all my fault for writing them in November. Silly me for trying to be organised to accommodate my divorce, house move this weekend along with my piss easy daily life of being a single mother with two kids, two dogs and a 3 hour commute to try and keep on top of.

I'll know not to write them in November again, I've obviously brought this on myself

Ours were created on a card that is the order form Icimol.
Most children did them at home and brought them back finished, in their own felt pen.

I thought art was copyright of the artist myself.

Anyway, the safeguarding issue is the main one, surely?

And let's face it, these cards are only cute if you know the child that actually drew them. To anybody else, it's just a badly drawn piece of crap that's destined for the bin. I just don't like the idea.

Nonsense! We often used to say that some of the children's artwork was good enough to have copied and sold. There are some very talented children out there.

My friend is a HT and often buys packs of cards the children have done to send to other schools from their school. Good grief, I don't see that as being 'weird and creepy' at all.

Yanbu, the school messed up giving them out, it would never ever occur to me that someone else would by my dc's card.

The head should have asked then you would have realised the mistake. I think she has a cheek to ask for a refund

I would bet tgat the cards are going to governors etc rather than friends

Everyone is making a massive assumption that the child's name would be on the cards the Head used. Given that the order can specify that it shouldn't, it seems rather a large assumption to make.

Can everyone who is freaking out about a child's name being seen by strangers tell me what they do if their child is in a school play or concert? Do you insist that your child's name shouldn't feature in the programme? After all, who knows who will see the name and what they will do with the programme.

"Everyone is making a massive assumption that the child's name would be on the cards the Head used. Given that the order can specify that it shouldn't, it seems rather a large assumption to make."

Clearly her son's name were on te back of the cards- else they wouldn't have been given to the OP in the first place!

You'll never make CID.....

Saucy, you'll never make an administrator. Ever heard of putting labels on the packet the cards are in rather than on the cards themselves?

Err that's my point. If you didn't want two you should have double checked you hadn't been charged for two before using them. I mean how complicated can this form be. Had you done that you wouldn't be having this issue. It's your fault that you didn't.

You should just suck it up & shut up or have the balls to raise it with the headmistress.

The head would have bought the cards to give to her teacher colleagues who work in the school and know the names of the children already; for governors and to send best wishes to other local schools. What on earth is creepy about that! The head would have ticked the form to say not to show the child's name.

I'd pay but I think the Head has added packs to your order, thereby getting the extra pack for less (i.e. £4 not £6).

Then there has been a fuck up in failing to remove the extra pack - they obviously did remove one I reckon.

So my theory is she is saving a few bob on the back of parents' orders.

CHEEKY MARE

She has a wee scam going imo.

Will they ask you to repay £6 or £4 I wonder?

YANBU I would have assumed I'd ordered incorrectly or they'd made a mistake.

You can bet if you'd immediately turned to the teacher and said "I've got an extra pack!" they would have said "must have been a mistake, just take them".

Surprised the school emailed parents to highlight their incompetency.

Your mistake was confessing.

It almost sounds like the quantities on the order form were altered after you had ordered yours, otherwise there is no way they would have come to you or, if the form is anything like ours was, anyone would have been able to order cards that were not of their own child's work.

Firstly, contact the company who produced them to see if they can email you a copy of your order forms for both children. Explain there has been a mix up at school rather than it being the company's fault so they are more likely to be helpful. You will also be able to ascertain whether you did genuinely order more packs than you thought (in which case assume you paid for them at the time unless proof can be provided otherwise).

Secondly, whilst it seems unreasonable, if you have used cards you did not order and have not paid for, it would not be unreasonable to repay the extra amount. However, you would also not be unreasonable to ask for an apology and measures to be taken to ensure it doesn't happen again. Whilst the headteacher has been inconvenienced by having less cards than she thought, you have been left out of pocket for something you did not originally order. It's arguing for the sake of it to go round the 'well you used them' issue. Regardless, their mistake has now cost you extra money.

Lastly, 'randoms knowing name and school of dc' - you do realise than chances are, anyone who visits those you send cards to, will likely look at the card and if they like it, turn it over to see who did it, where did it come from. So if people don't want that information available to just anyone, you'll have to start putting code names on the back so those you want to will know who and where they came from. Others won't. Although whose to say they won't ask the receiver, who then trots out 'oh that's my niece/nephew/blah blah...

Ours did a deal on ordering 3 packs being a £12 so it did work out cheaper to order more. And although they weren't able to blend two children's designs to make up that order, it seems like your school's whole ordering process was flawed from start to finish if it was done in a chaotic hall, everyone was trying to work out what they're doing, 100 parents milling around trying to find Johnny in class 1 and Jezebel in class 3's work and then having to negotiate the order forms.

Suggest to the school that next year they either send a copy home (dd's class did this) with the order form or invite parents in at collection time to view pictures before sending the form out (ds' class did this).

If I ordered two pairs of shoes from a company, and they send me three, I can keep the third pair as a nice bonus unsolicited treat. This shouldn't be any different for the parent- order two, get three, bonus!