I'm really not sure what you're all going to say...
My DD is 13 and has a diagnosis for ADHD and also for ASD.
She struggles in school, with her anger and in social situations but we are getting there and she is improving.
Unfortunately, because she is loud and can display inappropriate behaviour, she is always the first one the teacher notices and tells off or blames.
She is used to this now and kind of just accepts it most of the time!
She is very literal and will often refuse to talk to a teacher because she looks like a thumb, laugh at a teachers name that sounds like her favourite ice cream. So she can be immature.
Today in school a girl started taunting her saying she (dd) had problems and saying 'so glad I've not got your problems though' and pulling a face to insinuate she had learning difficulties (iyswim) whilst others laughed. So my Dd jumped up and said "well you're ugly with a squashed nose and you look like a monkey!'
This girl is mixed race (i know this because her mum is known in my town and she is mixed race) and reported a racial attack to the teacher and as a consequence, my daughter was told her behaviour was disgusting and excluded
I only found out when I'd finished work because the school called my parents, who collected her from school and they left me a voicemail.
I've been to the school and the head teacher basically said that the girls family are feuding with another family, it's become quite serious and they think my DD was goaded to make a racial comment to this girl. They also said that they removed her from the situation to protect her getting into further trouble and also the girls mother reports every racial abuse to the police and I'd have them knocking at my door if he hadn't of diffused the situation. This girls mother is coming to the school on Thursday with a solicitor to demand all kinds (not about todays situation) the head basically said any row or anything said to her dd results in racial accusations so I know there is lots going on.
My dd is adamant she wasn't goaded and says that she does look like a monkey and that's why she said it.
My dd's half brother is mixed race as are her cousins, we are not a racist family. I'm so upset that the school have publicly excluded her for racial comments, that they had to call this mother and say that she had been removed and that nothing was said to the girl or her mum about what she had said.
What about the comments she was making to my dd? Why aren't they equally as damaging? My dd has no self esteem, she has self harmed many times, the amount of effort to even get her to school is enough, but to deal with this aswell? She has been doing amazing lately.
The school have said they will have her back tomorrow but she is so upset. It took her 10 minutes to even get in the car because she was having a meltdown on the pavement outside of school. In her eyes, the girl said something bad so dd said something back.
I feel so sorry for her, she is 100% not racist but she as been branded one.
She very openly admits calling her a name and says "she knows it is naughty but it wasn't because of who her mum is and she said bad things to me that I can't help and she knows she has to be told off"
It's heartbreaking for me to see her not understand and I don't think the school have protected her.
Aibu?