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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To murder my husband because he is fucking snoring

108 replies

Hurricaneinateacup · 25/11/2014 00:07

I'm not am I?
I can't sleep and to rub it in he's next to me snoring the loudest smuggest snores anyone's every snored.

I'm going to have to kill him.

OP posts:
randycheeseburger · 25/11/2014 11:53

i cant sleep if my husband goes to bed the same time as me, he gets in and falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow and sounds like a pig grunting next to me, if he gets into bed the same time as me I moan at him. I've had to sleep in my sons room with them before now.

LeapingOverTheWall · 25/11/2014 13:03

referral via GP - but do mention if you/they seem to stop breathing, then suddenly snort and start breathing again. Recordings can help (audio/video), plus you can get apps which do it too (would suggest getting permission to record so as not to make marital discord worse Wink).

handcream · 25/11/2014 14:00

Its such a horrible subject and a lot of people think its amusing. Seperate bedrooms for us. My DH did very little to resolve. He did try the strips but they didnt work, however he is not really bothered tbh. its funny, reading the thread. Its always the sufferer who moves. The culprit stays exactly where he is.

He doesnt have a medical condition. He just snores... Holidays arent always great because he just carries on and I have to take sleeping pills which again he doesnt concern himself with!

StillSquirrelling · 25/11/2014 14:23

My 'D'H snores like you wouldn't believe. Turning onto his side doesn't work and I do dispense a very hard kick every time he snores. Eventually I make him go and sleep in the spare room over at the other side of the house and even then I can still hear him if he doesn't close the door. DDs often complain about the noise in the middle of the night, to the point of scaring them into having nightmares as they think it's a monster Hmm

I get really agitated when people come and stay the night because it means I have nowhere to kick DH out to. Ditto for holidays etc. It makes for a very exhausting time for me.

I did send DH off to the docs, where he was sent to the hospital to investigate whether he could have that stop-snoring operation. The consultant took one look at him upon entering the room and said, "don't bother sitting down - turn around and come back when you've lost 2 stone". That was about 10 years ago and DH hasn't bothered losing any weight. He is over weight but he wasn't when we first met, or as a teen - he was quite skinny - but he still snored like a bastard loudly then too so it's not his weight that is the issue, although it won't be helping matters. I think the consultants attitude was appalling!

Mammanat222 · 25/11/2014 14:32

Life with a snorer really can be Hellish.

We had no spare rooms until recently but now we do so at least I have an escape (or somewhere to send OH to sleep as I am heavily pregnant - but even I'd take a camp bed over his snoring)

It doesn't help that I am a light sleeper [pre child I needed a flight mask and earplugs to nod off even without my warthog of a partner next to me] but lack of sleep is torture and you can seriously end up resenting the person who causes that lack of sleep.

ginnycreeper5 · 25/11/2014 14:37

It's like he waits for me to nod off by lulling me into a false sense of security with tiny grunts and then does the most enormous snort ever

My OH does exactly the same thing. He just knows when I'm about to nod off... and then there is the loudest snore ever! Angry

I will help you find a spade to hit and bury him with and a patio

handcream · 25/11/2014 14:45

It IS torture and you do end up feeling displeased with the snorer who seems to thinks it other people's issue (not his!).

I really think because its not THEM suffering they wont go and see a Dr.

I am not sure tbh that further UP the consultant wasnt right. If a chap needs to lose weight then the onus is on him to do that.

Hairtodaygonetomorrow · 25/11/2014 14:51

Stillsquirrelling weight shouldn't stop them investigating, my husband is very overweight, but snored like yours when skinny, medium and now as obese. If anything, having daytime sleepiness as with sleep apnoea messes with your metabolism and also means you have no energy to exercise, so the weight becomes a vicious circle. No reason for consultant not to recommend losing weight too, but most men (over 50%) are overweight but not all have sleep apnoea and in many case, weight loss does very little.

CMOTDibbler · 25/11/2014 15:34

There is proper evidence that untreated OSA makes you put on weight and keep it on. It really messes with hormone levels due to the adrenalin peaks and stress on your body.

Just like they wouldn't not treat someone with type 2 diabetes and just tell them to lose weight, they need the OSA treating first and the work on losing weight later

spiderlight · 25/11/2014 15:51

Signing in as another exhausted partner of a snorer. We now keep a quilt and pillows on the couch in DH's study and one of us ends up in there most nights, but I can still hear him. The other day he was snoring so loudly upstairs that I had to turn teh telly up downstairs becaue I couldn't hear it. We've tried everything over the years. Doctor wasn't interested. Trying to make him go back now we're at a new surgery and ask for a referral, but he won't because he knows they'll tell him to lose weight first, even though he only put on weight because he broke his ankle very badly last year, and he snored just as badly when he was whippet thin. He can fall asleep instantly anywhere and he snores in every position. I'm a very light sleeper and suffer terrible migraines that are made much worse if my sleep is disrupted. It's killing me :(

Cambam2010 · 25/11/2014 15:59

Down load a White Noise App on your phone - set it to a reasonable volume and when the snoring starts concentrate on the white noise and not the snores. This has worked wonders for me. I have a cars driving by noise that reminds me of living at home when I was a small child - it is very soothing and distracts the mind from the hellish noise beside you.

notfromstepford · 25/11/2014 16:04

My H has sleep apnoea which was discovered as he's waiting for an op on his nose. He snores like a fucking train. It's hell and it's got worse over the years. He has a machine, but until his nose is fixed he can't use it because it presses on the bit that's collapsed so he can breathe even less.

I've spent many a night on the sofa as he still keeps me awake when in the spare room!

You have my sympathies Smile

LeapingOverTheWall · 25/11/2014 16:18

DH wasn't told to lose weight, either by the GP or by the sleep consultant. I was a bit Shock but neither were overly concerned.

Eastwickwitch · 25/11/2014 17:47

DH was tested for sleep apnoea but he hasn't got it. Spare room for him. We once had complaints in a hotel from the guests in the next room.

I forced him to see an ENT surgeon who wasn't convinced about the long term results for laser surgery.

We tried an OTC mouth guard but it fell out. Interested to read about the one provided by the dentist.

We laugh about the snoring but really it makes me sad.

AnyoneForTardis · 25/11/2014 18:37

o gosh, Ive taken to snoring in the last couple of months, don't know how the hell that's started! luckily I sleep alone though but I waske MYSELF up when I start snoring, how the hell can I stop?

its infuriating!

Emeraldgirl2 · 25/11/2014 19:26

OP I have a solution. It's a bit Strangers on a Train. I'll murder your snoring DH and you can murder mine. We can arrange flawless alibis for ourselves while the other does the dreaded deed :)

DH snores like... well, a pig is unfair to pigs. I can't actually describe the hideous sounds that come out of his nose and mouth when he sleeps. And he won't FUCKING do anything about it.

More often than not I go and sleep in the spare room in the middle of the night, I just can't take it at 2am. (fwiw it's a very nice spare room, actually, much nicer than our bedroom, and I always make sure it has lovely fresh sheets so I can get into bed in the peace and quiet and just go aahhhhhhhh, bliss)

Eastwickwitch · 25/11/2014 19:29

Emerald don't let my DH know. The snorer must get out of the marital bed & go into the spare room even if it's comfier. It's the law Grin

catgirl1976 · 25/11/2014 19:41

Could you take mine out as well? I'll pay you for your trouble and provide an alibi for both incidents.

TheLovelyBoots · 25/11/2014 19:46

My husband snores on a good night. Add a couple or five whiskeys and it's a nightmare. We sleep in separate rooms and extend invitations for conjugal visits.

AlistairSim · 25/11/2014 19:59

I find that gently holding dp's penis stops him snoring, I think it's a subconscious fear and rightly so.

Original poster
Hurricaneinateacup · 25/11/2014 20:22

Emerald another night like last night and count me in unless I snap at 2am anyway

OP posts:
TheLovelyBoots · 25/11/2014 20:23

I find that gently holding dp's penis stops him snoring,

Smile
Karenthetoadslayer · 25/11/2014 20:26

LTB

PlummyBrummy · 25/11/2014 20:39

Definitely understand the misery here. My DH has always snored no matter what his size though, pre-baby, I used to sleep much better so could cope better. Recently I've become pregnant again so I've been pole-axed by tiredness by it coincided with DD's insomnia, illness and an increase in DH's already outrageously loud snoring. My sleep deprivation got so bad that I ended up curling up underneath desk at work and falling asleep (not proud of that at all). And STILL he did nothing about it - it was me who had to shuffle off to the spare room in the middle of the night. Finally he did Stoptober but for drinking not smoking (not for me, he'd just had a few big events recently). He lost a stone, toned up, looked healthier and STOPPED FRICKING SNORING! I could have cried with gratitude. That lasted until Nov 1st and now we're sliding backwards again...
Just wondering if alcohol is an I acknowledged factor in some of these snore-beasts like it was for my DH?

PiratePanda · 25/11/2014 21:19

I prod mine HARD with my foot. If that doesn't stir him a little and make him change position, I top and tail - my feet at the head end and either wear noise-cancelling headphones, which are blissful but you have to lie on your back, or lie on one side with a pillow under my head, a pillow over my head, and my arms crossed so that one hand is over each ear.

It is much worse now that he's fatter and older, poor man.