To think this woman was bloody rude!

[extremepie]

Had a woman ask to come round today in a professional capacity (long story which I can't be arsed to explain). She called me about half an hour before the actual time she wanted to come and when I said that it might be better a different day,, since I was out at the time, she said she could only come today so I agreed for her to come over today.

When we walked in she asked where I was before I got back (as I turned up slightly late), which I was a bit embarrassed about as I am a bit very chubby and had been at the gym.

Told her where I had been and she looked around the front room with distain at the pile of clean clothes on the sofa waiting to be sorted and put away and said 'well don't you think you would have been better off getting exercise sorting this mess out'! I was

Aibu to think that was really out of order for her to say and none of her fucking business a) where I was before I got there and b) how I choose to leave my clean washing?

Rude bitch, not sure why but it really upset me :( Feeling very oversensitive at the moment :/

PS yes CP social workers pop round with little notice for obvious reasons but this should be to protect vulnerable children-not as house inspectors-unless the surroundings are dangerous or a health hazard.
only concern should be children'.s well being

It totally depends on what she was doing in your house. For all we know she might have been a professional organiser. In which case she would have been perfectly within her rights to comment about your washing.

Viviennemary

I think the OP has already explained the purpose of the visit.

And the clothes were not relevant to it.

I have asked the SW and apparently she can't be changed :(

Ah well, I'm still going to tell her what I think if she's rude to me again - I didn't tell her to fuck off but I did get upset with her!

YeGods it's a tiny rural gym so no facilities except the actual gym :/

She was rude.

And as you have the most misfortune to have deal with her again you can be rude back to her. And when she gets all hissy you can say 'well I'm always honest, you'll get what I think and I think you're a cunt'

Oooh the fun you could have! Xx

Don't know why I put the word most before misfortune.

Do you really want this person advocating and representing you. I think you should put in an official complaint.

I believe the woman is an Advocate for the children and not you OP? If this is the case she shouldn't actually be having much conversation with you at all as she is there to put the children's views forward. She may, however, also put forward anything she witnesses within their home if she feels it relates to any issues raised within the Family Group Conference.

She'd hate me. I almost permanently have a pile of clean washing on the sofa.

Since when did clean clothes on a sofa become a crime?

Some people are just judgey fuckers.

Rude unprofessional and inappropriate.
She had no right or cause at all to make any personal comment.
Is there somewhere you can go to complain about her.

OP, I don't think that's good enough. She was out of order and should be removed from the job, or at least not allowed back into your house.

'No. I will not see her again. She was insulting and unprofessional. She is not welcome in my home again.'

Repeat as necessary. Please don't be a pushover.

I would keep notes on every contact she has with or your children, date time, anything and everything. You never know how helpful that could be in future. Just cover your arse.

"If she's from a welfare service or from your housing provider, then she's perfectly entitled to comment on your time management or household organisation sadly."

In the OP's specific circumstances, I disagree, SaucyJack - she was not at home when the woman contacted her to request the meeting with only half an hour's notice, tried to put it off to a different time, and when the woman wouldn't or couldn't put it off, she rushed home to hold the meeting.

How is that poor time management? How is it poor household management? Surely most people's houses are not completely visitor-ready at all times? If she had had more notice of the visit, I am sure she would have tidied up. And how is a pile of clean clothing, presumably waiting to be taken upstairs and put away, evidence of poor household organisation? It says that clothes are being washed and folded, but haven't yet been put away - that's all, surely?

If the woman had visited several times, and there were always piles of clothes around the place, that might be evidence of less-than-stellar household management, but this was not, imo.

She can be changed if you complain hard enough... and I certainly would.

'No, I'm sorry, she is not welcome in my home again and is not going to be allowed near my children with an attitude like that. I'm sorry to hear of staffing issues making this difficult for you, would it help if I escalated my complaint in order to assist you in accessing alternative provision?' :)

I'd put money on the vast majority of people having a pile of clean washing in the living/dining room almost all the time. I bloody do.

Rude, judgy cow.

She would have a fit in my house. I fold the laundry throughout the day and there are our own piles on the floor every day, sometimes the same pile for days if DS1 is not paying attention. I am trying to teach him responsibility.. Haven't noticed any negative results of my slovenly not slave to my kids behaviour.