... To be gobsmacked by this opening line from a call centre?

[RainbowRabbit33]

I've just received a call from Weathersafe (something about windows, apparently). The lady commenced her introduction with the line:

Good morning, Mrs Rabbit. I hope I'm not disturbing your housework today.

In case it's relevant to anyone, I don't believe there was any cultural or language difference in play. She had a slight regional UK accent.

I'm hardly a rabid feminist, but I was quite surprised she had been told to open her sales pitch with this line. AIBU to think that someone at Weathersafe has lost the plot?

And no, I didn't buy her window upgrade or whatever it was.

God that is a ridiculous line.
EE are awful too, their line is:
"Hello Mrs Slattern, I am calling from EE, how are you today?"
It totally floored me bc it was exactly like how a doctor says "and how ARE you?" in a sympathetic voice. Who the hell responds by telling a total stranger coldcalling about their day so far and state of mind? I said I was a bit busy and could they go away, so Sue rang back later to ask again how I was.....ARGH leave me alone!

YANBU

What did you say to her?

I hope you were doing your housework
I am lying in bed eating fruit pastilles and mumsetting, I'd be v cross to be disturbed and guilt tripped and sold to all in one!

It's mind boggling isn't it.

Some of the 'opening lines' are just unbelievable.

I was so taken aback that I couldn't think quickly enough to come back with anything, so only managed an "errr... No".

We were having a late breakfast. I'll pretend that it was because we had enjoyed lovely cuddles in bed with the baby (it was actually because I had one too many last night, so we brought the baby in with us to feed her and give us some extra snooze time).

My usual response to "How are you today?" is "I was fine till the cold calls started. What do you want?"

I actually don't hear their opening line.

As soon as I know it's a sales call, I tell them I'm registered with TPS and tell them to take my number off their database.

It works well. I only get about 3 or 4 per year now, whereas I used to get 3 or 4 per day at one point.

You should have said, no but you did disturb me having a wank.

Crikey. How many times on here do we joke that it's the 1950s calling?

This time, they actually did !

I would have replied with:

Aye, blood took a while to scrub out but the brain matter was easy to hoover, can't talk, body to move. See yah

Then phone down!

I was roundly bollocked for not engaging in the "Isn't it a nice day" stuff once...
I just kept repeating "Can I help you?" and the caller, who was obviously reading from a script and completely thrown by me not responding in the expected way, eventually screamed "All you had to DO was say it's a nice day!!!! It IS a nice day!!!! What's WRONG with you?????"
Poor cow.

Fairenuff and Eatshit, hahahaha!!!!! Made my day!!!!!

I would have had to say something smart but then I am the asshat that told the lady on the phone when I called an ambulance that I knew she was doing her job and reading from a sheet but none of what she was saying was applicable to the situation so I'm just going to answer No every time she asks me if the unconscious person can hold a conversation. I did thank her for her help once it was done but at the time it was a very difficult situation not being helped with extremely ridiculous questions being read from a script.

This will out me if anyone perchance knows me but I am utterly boring online anyway!

I once did the whole 'i am on the TPS list, please remove my number' stuff, he got a bit shirty so I hung up. He called me straight back to tell me to shut my mouth!

EatShitDezza - I am SO doing that to my next one!

If cold callers t to get personal with "Hello my name", or "how are you?", or anything else personal, I respond with either "do I know you?" or "you know my name but I can't work out how I know you". This usually leads to a moment of confusion as they then try to move on with their script and I'm still with "but how do I know you?". Alternatively, if they will reasonably just start with introducing themselves and stating why they are calling then I am allowed a position of grace where I can just let them know I'm not interested and will be hanging up. Same with door knockers. I hate opening the door to a grinning stranger asking me how I am.

Asking if your cleaning was being interrupted - that's really out there, but equally too personal a question. They might as well have just phoned up and said "Hi, what 'cha doin'?"

I think I'd've been tempted to reply with 'no, dh and I were enjoying mid-coital breather..' And just leave it at that.

That's totally ridiculous. Don't these cold callers know that mondays is housework day for us little wifeys

tidy I can't promise you won't end up with the police at your door though

I don't get cold callers. I never charge my house phone and at the moment I have no idea where it is. When I did I used to pass the phone to my son who could talk for England

F me! I am still lying in bed mumsnetting!

Although to be fair I do have a chest infection :(

Don't know what she would think of me though :D

It wouldn't endear me to her. Odd marketing ploy. Yanbu.

" They often ask me if I am my husband too."

Hopefully not "are you your husband?" :o

I ignore all calls where I don't know the number displayed. If someone else really wants me they will leave a message. I so can't be doing with unsolicited calls! I would never just buy something from someone phoning or door knocking without doing my homework.

Dezza - I am willing to take the risk! It's too good not to use!

It's handy having an unusual name that nobody can pronounce. So when they phone and ask to speak to Mrs Unpronounceable I can truthfully say that there is nobody here by that name .