... To be gobsmacked by this opening line from a call centre?

[RainbowRabbit33]

I've just received a call from Weathersafe (something about windows, apparently). The lady commenced her introduction with the line:

Good morning, Mrs Rabbit. I hope I'm not disturbing your housework today.

In case it's relevant to anyone, I don't believe there was any cultural or language difference in play. She had a slight regional UK accent.

I'm hardly a rabid feminist, but I was quite surprised she had been told to open her sales pitch with this line. AIBU to think that someone at Weathersafe has lost the plot?

And no, I didn't buy her window upgrade or whatever it was.

We don't get many and they're easy to spot by the area code and that they can't pronounce my name, am in ForrinLand.

I let my d, 12, answer them as she loves them. She adopts a bizarre Southern US accent and shrieks at them about her nails, her boyfriend and how they don't understand how Arrrrfool Herrr Laaaiff Izzz.

She's just started Drama at school so I figure it's good practice for her.

I don't even get cold calls with real people - just that annoying recorded voice telling me they can help with my non-existent accident/PPI claim.

As a little baby DD didn't like it when the phone rang. It usually interrupted our constant round of feed/nappy change/10 minute power nap, so I could understand her annoyance. So if it was a cold caller I'd let her have a little scream down the phone give them a piece of her mind.

I should write some of these lines down and keep them by the phone in case I get another of these calls! You're all much more quick-thinking than me .

OMG that is laughably ridiculous!

Rain you should have said 'Don't worry, husbands doing it' and then listen for the sound of her head exploding!

I actually want someone to cold call me now so I can practice your my witty responses

Yeah, I got new windows recently. To clarify I did the research, made the appointment and paid for the windows. Me and dh split things like this.

First question when the rep arrived - "is your husband around"

Followed by a few phone calls to arrange delivery and fitting, always asked for Mr Behoove. Salt in the wound was when the guarantee and receipt for payment arrived, also addressed to dh, despite the payment coming from my own account.

You could try

Thankfully I've not had that as an opener but I'll be wary and possibly respond with "I'm sorry, are you calling from the 1950's?"

I did have someone phone me a week or so ago claiming to be from my mobile's service provider. Asked for me by name. I asked what they wanted and they said it was to do with an upgrade and asked for my full name and date of birth.
I asked why they needed to know and they said it was for data protection.
I said that for my own data protection I don't give out that information over the phone.

Caller said it was for a contract upgrade. I don't have a contract, I'm PAYG.

The accident one are my favourite

'Do you mean when I tripped in Wetherspoons and ended up with a fork in my eye?'

Or

'Oooh, was it when I fell backwards onto that rolling pin/wine bottle/loo brush?'

Or

'You mean when I fell down that unattended manhole and got stuck in the sewer, but found I could walk all the way to Italy existing only on bits of fatburgers?

Or

'Was it when I walked under a ladder in town and a baby hippo fell on my head?'

You get the jist.

Such fun.

I had some gent called 'Steve' (with a strong Indian accent) call me to ask me about an accident that I may have been in in the past 3 years- I said I had never been in an accident-
he asked -
"have you ever fallen and slipped in the supermarket"
"no"
"have you fallen off your bike in the park?"
"no"

and the real humdinger that made me throw the phone down

"have you ever been hit by a bus"

I used to always ignore what they ask etc and say 'You sound like a sales call -I am on the TPS, you shouldn't be calling me -can you take me off your list please -thank you-bye' -no pauses so no chance for them to get a word in edgeways etc and hang up.
Occasionally if I realised it is the 'you have a problem with your computer type' I will say oh no ...'I'll just go to turn it on' and leave the phone off the hook and carry on what I'm doing... or on a bad day tell them they should be ashamed of themselves...
However I don't have to bother as much - I bought an answerphone where I can here what the caller is saying as they leave a message ...I just don't answer unless I want to speak to the caller ..(I have a few handsets around the house, I can hear the message from them all so need to move to listen etc.)
My message actually says I am either out or call screening - real callers leave a message and I'll pick up if I'm available - sales calls can you take me off your list...
And I do get less calls now...
If I give someone my number for some reason I'll also tell them I screen. and to leave a message and if I can I will pick up...
The only times I get caught now is if I am expecting a call and pick up by accident -or my 7yo answers it even though she has been told not to...seems she just can't leave it...but find they have often hung up by the time she hands it to me - suspect something to do with her telling me - 'I think it is one of those sales calls you hate mum' - as she passes it over...

so no need to move - not I need to move...

I've had some that can't seem to get their heads around the fact I've never had an accident, I'm not currently in any debt (mortgage excepted) and I claimed my PPI back all by myself!

Now if they ask for Mrs MinesaBottle I just tell them she's at work and they can't hang up quickly enough. If they ask for DH and I tell them he's at work they often ask if I'm authorised to speak for him, because they are calling from the nineteenth century. I tell them no, I don't have power of attorney for my husband, listen to the confusion for a few seconds and hang up.

The best response idea I've heard was from one of my friends who posted on Facebook that you should just give the phone to your toddler and tell them it's Father Christmas on the other end . Runs the risk of a disappointed toddler though...

I had a cold caller call me a bitch and slam the phone down when I told her my number was registered with the TPS once

YANBU! I went into Clintons. Bought some things and as I was paying the girl behind the counter said "I'm going to pop you on our special bargain list/email/newsletter thingy!" in a breezy voice.

I said "Erm..no. You're not."

And left it at that.

Fucking cheek.

If they want to try to get my details they can ASK ME for them.

I sometimes give them but nobody appreciates being TOLD this.

I had a lovely conversation with a man apparently from my mobile provider, I'd had 4 calls that week from them and asked them to take my number off every time so i put it on speaker phone and let him get right to the end of his sales pitch whilst i carried on with what I was doing, then I asked him to explain in more detail, let him waffle on then said I don't understand, could you explain it again please? and kept doing that til he said 'I'm really sorry madam, I don't really know how else to explain it'

'ah, see this is the problem I've had explaining to your company that I'm on pay as you go, don't want a contract and would really like my number taken off your database'

'oh, i'll take your number off now for you'

They haven't called again

I suspect it was Weather seal who have one of the most obnoxious salespeople I have ever encountered. I used to get a call about every six weeks from the same man, and it would always end in being rude to me. He once rang me back to rant at me because I had put the phone down after him accusing me of being arsy because I couldn't afford to buy double glazing.

They must feel totally twats having to say that. They must inwardly cringe.