AIBU to put a note through my neighbours door re her noise complaint??

[FayeFruitLoop]

Back in September I believe a new lady moved into the flat below us. we were up early one morning (6am and getting ready for a trip away. At 7am I put my 2 year olds shoes on and he ran up our hallway) shortly after the lady below came up to complain about the noise - there was no music/tv. Just the 2year old wearing shoes (laminate floor but thick underlay) and myself and DH chatting/packing and the tumble dryer.

We apologised, explained it wasn't a usual occurrence and said we'd make sure we didn't wear shoes whilst indoors as well as look into runners at her request. She then said the tv noise is also too loud and affects her health... We don't own a tv I do watch tv via my phone and the laptop sometimes but the volume wouldn't be able to go up as loud as an actual tv.

I have since taken to using headphones other than when the 2 year old watches the odd DVD in the daytime.

Today I receive a noise complaint letter from the council that was made on Tuesday morning... (When I was out swimming with the toddler) of course there would of been the time from 8am to 9am when I was getting him ready that day though...

I haven't yet been able to afford runners but have been extra conscious of noise from the floor, banned my child from running indoors (he used to enjoy cruising the hallway) and I put him to bed at the latest by 9pm and usually 8am. I don't get him up before 7am. I'm so paranoid I'm constantly listening to how much noise my own footsteps make and tiptoeing after/before 7-9 daytime hours.

I don't know what on earth I can do more, previous neighbours didn't complain and I'm sure we used to make far more noise. I do live next to a flat which has 3 school age children and I hear their noise myself but it's nothing other than everyday noise certainly wouldn't class it nuisance so there is the possibility that noise is travelling from that property...

Or I suppose the small chance that the noise complaint didn't come from this lady at all? Seems very very unlikely though.

WIBU to put a note through her door? And how should I word it if I did?

I could understand if it was a complaint over a child tantrumming as they are frequent currently due to his age, or over him singing his lungs out but again it's not something I have much control over and I'm doing everything I can already to minimise noise

I was thinking of something like:

Dear neighbour,

I understand you made a noise complaint, I can only apologise if the noise level is unacceptable to you but I have been taking these measures since you came up back in September and feel there is little more I can do. Im not entirely sure the noise you are experiencing is coming from our property considering this. I also do ensure any noise only happens between daytime hours. Please feel free to pop up next time the noise level is unacceptable to you as it may help me to identify what it is exactly that is causing you a problem and clarify if it is our property or not.

That said... I don't really want to drop my next door neighbour in it if it's her kids the lady is hearing. Should I speak to her also? Should I check with others if they're hearing too much noise from us??

Don't put a note through, in fact don't engage with her at all. You are not making anything other than a normal level of noise. It is unfortunate that she works shifts and lives in a flat but it is down to her to deal with it by buying ear plugs etc not expecting every neighbour to fork out for runners and tip toe around her. I think because you were so apologetic and accommodating first time she now has an unreasonable expectation of how you will modify your behaviour to suit her.

If she wants to complain let her, if the council want to investigate, let them. I can just imagine the conversation "we've received a complaint that you have your television volume too loud" "erm we don't have a TV", "ahh, sorry to have bothered you".

Respond to the council, asking if they have detail of what is considered acceptable and unacceptable noise. I really can't see anything you do is not acceptable. You sound almost too considerate, that it's impacting on your life.

Ah OP I feel for you, we had a neighbour like this once except we lived in a terrace and she complained about noises such as us putting our toilet seat up and down past 8pm and 'giggling' in our own house. It is very very wearing, I didn't feel comfortable in my own home. No advice though as we just ended up moving to get away from her (private rental).

One thing you have to accept when living in communal building is there will be noise, its not always possible to live in silence. The woman is batty if she thinks it is. The council should see that you are doing all you can to limit noise.

OP, I would keep a record (dates and times, ticket stubs etc) of the incidents you mentioned - the day you were going away and the day you went swimming. You can be guaranteed she is logging events. I wouldn't engage with her at all.

Are the council going follow this up then or are they taking your neighbours word for the noise nuisance?

you could always buy some earplugs for her and shove them through her letter box with a ripped up copy of the letter

I've had to get used to neighbours with 2 young children (baby under a year) and 3 year moving in within past 2 years...

The baby cries every night (but is soon picked up by mum) and his bedroom is next to my bedroom! Sometimes I hear the 3 year old running round the house etc... but it's normal children noise.

I did think I heard something ages ago like a shower but I don't think it was them I think it was my fridge.

Anyway I've just zoned that noise out. They do have a light on in the bathroom area that could be seen (next to my bedroom again, strange flat/maisonette I have on 2 floors) at night so I got blackout curtains.

My other neighbour in the house isn't there much (air hostess) but she sleeps like a log etc.

I'd never dream of complaining about any of the above noise and when I have occasionally in conversation mentioned about the baby crying at night the poor mum looks mortified and I have to say "don't worry it doesn't disturb me!"

Let this witch complain. As others say she can't expect others to dance around her because she works nights.

I had genuinely noisy neighbours - as in heavy rock at extremely high volumes at 3.00am, played through speakers nestling against the wall my bed was the other side of. You know what - the council weren't able to do a bloody thing. (Not saying for a moment that you're making unreasonable levels of noise - quite the contrary, I agree with everyone who's said it's completely unreasonable that she's got you tiptoeing round your own house).

There is next to no statutory control on noise levels in this country. The neighbour can jump up and down all she likes - once the council's environmental health dept have established that you're just making a perfectly normal level of noise, she will be told to go away.

Yeah... I don't think she's lived in a flat before perhaps, she does seem to have unrealistic expectations.

Coincidentally since she moved in we 've all begun getting letters about leaving rubbish in the hallway. A lot of us have kids and there are a few elderly people too... Sometimes a bin bag is put outside a front door for a few hours before it gets taken down to the rubbish bins (5floors down and outside)... We usually take the ones on our floors for the elderly people if they're there when we take ours too. It's only since this thread I realise how those letters timed with her arrival to the block. Yep Hyacinth Bucket moved in

Gotto - how can you complain about someone giggling?!

to someone else (forget name) if a young child was running up and down at 11pm to midnight every night and it was disturbing me I'd have to say something. But it wouldn't be a big issue at all. Just a quiet word. And I'd get earplugs if it bothered me that much - I'm in bed between 10.30 - 11.30pm.

Scarletfever

If only...

If you're doing all you can, then perhaps you should speak to her in person rather than writing her a note.

If the neighbours are making lots of noise, you could always suggest to her that it may be coming from them. I live on the top floor of a block of flats, and hear lots of noises that sounds like they are coming from directly above me!

I don't think excess noise is all a part of living in flats. Where I used to live our lives were made miserable with music, shouting etc. some people can live with it, others can't.

I wouldn't write a note. I would talk to her/reassure her.

Frignorant... I think they are going to get back to her next week and then call me back afterwards, not sure how that leaves it really. Council haven't witnessed any noise...

OP - my DP has a neighbour who plays loud TV from 1030PM - midnight or more. (He goes to bed early, so he can get up at 10PM to put the TV on!) He has a 'drinking partner' who shouts and screams at 2 or 3AM, and they regularly pound on the party wall in the early hours - 3-4 times a week. The HA will do nothing, other than talk to him, once/twice a week - He actually came to complain at 4PM one saturday because we were doing DIY... (interrupting his daytime kip I suppose)

Don't worry about it. The complaint will go nowhere , and you are not doing anything wrong. Daytime is the time for noise. Her shift-patterns are her problem, not yours.

superflyhigh we moved in a few months ago, they rent and we own and their flat is for sale so I am secretly hoping they move out.

island - I was going to say that too! The DCs noise from next door is lovely and the DD (3 years old) often plays with 2 kittens who've adopted her (she wants a cat but her DF is allergic and they don't really want a cat).

They're adorable and the sound of them running etc is far nicer than the thud thud thud of diabolical music oh this was my DB in our family home many years ago!

And n oise does do funny things - I knew someone in a 2nd floor, left hand flat who could hear the music system from the 4th floor right hand flat, clear as day... - but only in the bathroom!

Thank you Island and Superfly.

I'm feeling far more relaxed now thanks to you all

ptumbi now that is really bad the HA not doing anything about the music etc.

Years ago I shared a house-share (town house) and next door they had an old Rottweiler which they let out in the garden - poor thing had arthritis but they didn't have a dog door so left the poor thing out there for hours... poor dog and it's doggy friend ended up howling and barking into small hours. My landlady refused to do anything as she was scared of them (council tenants but my landlady had bought the house). When I moved out they moved out not long afterwards. The owners of the dog were unemployed, had drink/drug problems but were ok people though. they used to have friends round in middle of the night with music too...

It was so bad I actually wanted to complain but didn't want to override neighbour. We had no double glazing and the noise was so loud... I also didn't see why I should have to use ear plugs.

Ywbu to send her a letter when you don't even know it is her!

Deal with the council, say you were out at swimming and can provide evidence or whatever. Then stop literally tip-toeing around your own home and start using it like a normal person.

For all you know it could be the lady below makes a hell of a racket when you're out and someone else has complained thinking it is you or just citing the building in their complaint.

So stop worrying about it :)

Living under someone with laminate flooring is hell , even when you think you are being quiet it sounds louder than it is. The stuff should be banned in flats imo!

Your right movingonup... But I do thin it's fairly safe to assume it is her considering everything. She's one of the few flats where I'm not on first name terms with the residents... Most other people would stop me in passing at least I think and just say hey faye, you bugged me the other day, mind keeping it down?... Rather than ringing to make an official complaint