Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think Grandma shouldn't have done this..

78 replies

ragrevel79 · 19/11/2014 19:10

So. DS' 7th birthday. He's a Lego fiend. His grandmother (my ex's mother) has bought him a £132 Lego set. She doesn't normally go so stratospheric, my ex's family is quite well off and normally she gets something generous but not crazy. She has told him that it's large, and he gets a bit of a smaller one for Christmas. I feel really quite pissed off that this is the kind of present we as parents would get (on a very generous year! We got something less than half that this year) and she's totally trumped us. I feel that grandparents should get something in line with (or smaller than) the parents. I also feel bad for my parents and my husbands parents that their presents look paltry in comparison. She's normally very well behaved so I am surprised. My ex thinks I should chill out and not make a big deal. I get on with her so I just want to say politely that whilst we are grateful could she not go quite so big in the future. But ffs, surely this should be obvious?!

OP posts:
Morloth · 19/11/2014 19:58

We pretty much leave it up to the grandparents to buy the big gifts.

They get a kick out of it, the kids get a great gift and I keep my cash. Win win all round IMO.

Alisvolatpropiis · 19/11/2014 19:59

YABU

BitOutOfPractice · 19/11/2014 20:00

OP you're the second OP in AIBU who has taken a pasting and come back and said "fair enough, IABU, thanks you guys". Now that's not the rules, it spoils our fun! Come back and argue! Wink

Gatheringthoughtstothink · 19/11/2014 20:02

You don't like it because it costs more than your present?
Your son won't be judging the present by its size.

RiverTam · 19/11/2014 20:03

God yes, all the big things come from my mum - she's got way more disposable income than we have, and as she's always saying, she can't take it with her!

londonrach · 19/11/2014 20:03

Yabu. Granny got pressie your ds will love. Theres no competition. Just let your ds enjoy his pressie. Doesnt mean he love you less. Children have no idea re cost so take at face value.

MommyBird · 19/11/2014 20:04
Sad

You have a grandmother who knows your son really well and has bough him something he really likes.
You're really lucky.

Yackity · 19/11/2014 20:18

He already has a ridiculous amount of Lego

Ha, ha, ha, ha!!!! There's no such thing as a ridiculous amount of Lego, and if you haven't worked that out when he's aged 7, there's no hope for you!!!!

Besides, that BIG Lego model will get made once, get played with, broken up, and then mixed up with the rest of the Lego, being virtually indistinguishable from the rest of the Lego.

You can get other Lego instructions from websites, and with all this lovely Lego, make something brilliant that's different, and YOU get to do it for free, and be an utterly brilliant mum!

ArthurShappey · 19/11/2014 20:27

I do like it when the OP goes 'AIBU?' and we all say 'YABU' and they come back and say 'fair enough you're right'.

It's so not in the spirit of AIBU but I love it

BingBong36 · 19/11/2014 20:39

yabu and sound incredibly ungrateful!!

That is what grandparents do , they soil their grandchildren, you need to get a grip and get over yourself and be ALOT more grateful!!!!

youarewinning · 19/11/2014 20:45

Grin @ bitoutofpractice

TeenAndTween · 19/11/2014 20:49

Best doesn't always mean the most expensive.

Sometimes my DD's seem to take more delight in the £5 after-thought than in the main present.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 19/11/2014 20:49

Grandparents often can give the best gifts.

Selinasupreme · 19/11/2014 20:50

Don't worry, he won't care who it's from, most children that age would step over their own mother for lego sets of that cost.

I like people buying gifts for DS because I can take a back seat and put a bit away into his saving account or buy him boring stuff like clothes or bedding. I can see where your coming from but don't let your feelings stop him from enjoying a potentially awesome gift

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 19/11/2014 20:56

And Shocking, perhaps it would be an idea to warn your children in advance that they'll need to pick out a set number of presents from sister before she arrives. Then send sister home with the remainder, for "when you visit her house". If that's not very often, not your problem; if it's quite frequently, they can change which toys they have at home on rotation. You can't easily control what she buys, but you can control what's in your home.

CrapBag · 19/11/2014 20:59

I was going to say YABU but you've already been back and been gracious about it.

That's not suppose to happen!

lljkk · 19/11/2014 21:01

I'd be afraid my kid wouldn't be appreciative enough, or they would expect super generous big presents every birthday in future.

Goldenbear · 19/11/2014 21:11

I don't think it really matters. My Mum is very generous - she enjoys giving them a fairly big toy when I see her which to be fair is usually only in the school holidays as she lives 4 hrs away.

I don't think it's what grandparents have always done though. My parents and my friends parents always seemed to get the big stuff. Grandparents used to offer a small 'token'. Isn't it just these lucky 'boomer' grandparents that can splash the cash with their windfalls?

foreverondiet · 19/11/2014 21:12

YABVU. Its her grandson. She bought a great present he will love. Be grateful.

leelteloo · 19/11/2014 21:16

My inlaws never really get my dc anything, a little bit of tat from sainsburys when they do their shop. So if my Ds was treated to such a wonderful present, which I could never afford to buy for him, I would be very happy. It must be a wonderful feeling to know your kids are loved and cherished by others.

MagicMojito · 19/11/2014 21:23

If it's any help I can understand you being put out by it, Rightly or wrongly I do think the main present should be from the parent. The right thing to do though is accept the gift graciously and just be happy that your son gets a present je loves.
I do get it though Smile

NickiFury · 19/11/2014 21:36

I don't get this "I would be worried they'd expect super big presents every time" Does this mean they can never have a big expensive present, ever? Just in case. I actually find that quite a depressing outlook. I think if you really emphasise what a great present it is here and how lucky they are there's not much danger that the odd big gift will lead to big expectations every time.

Newshoesplease · 19/11/2014 21:42

Maybe it was reduced or something?
My dbro got my dc a £70 lego dragon one year which I couldn't have afforded. Your dc will more likely be thinking "ooh! Lego!" Rather than calculating how it weighs against other's gifts.

VerityWaves · 19/11/2014 21:44

Yab
Very u

Itsfab · 19/11/2014 21:48

Do you think your son doesn't know you love him more than anything? Because you seem to be thinking the biggest present giver = loves your son more and he will think grandma loves him more than you. Grandma does love him but nothing compares to a parent and you should stop getting this so wrong.

My in-laws can afford more than us but my children know they are everything to us and don't see size of gift as a proof of size of love.