To think DH needs to suck this up.

[ShockingBadHat]

DH does a hobby out of the house two nights a week. Very occasionally he will miss the second night if he absolutely completely has to.

I have just started a business which involves working out of the house one or two nights a week. I did this with DH's full blessing and on the understanding that I would avoid AS FAR AS POSSIBLE clashing with his hobby nights.

Unfortunately Thursday night is a clash. I have tried to arrange a babysitter but no one I know can do it. I suggested DH could ask his brother to babysit but he won't ask him as he thinks he'll say no and he hates asking people for favours.

He is adamant he is going to his hobby (it is competitive and he has a competition in a few weeks). I am adamant I am not cancelling my meeting (which will earn us money).

Who is being unreasonable here? From his point of view he has invested time and money in the competition and if he doesn't do the training he will fail. And his evening was booked first.

From my point of view I can't turn down business in these early days of starting up. ALSO he could have asked his brother, I have already asked all my family and none can do it.

AIBU?

Unless he's training for the Olympics or trying to make the British team, work trumps training. Its just training, he can replicate it on his own at another time. I know professional athletes with far less rigid training schedules. I bet its the social scene at the training he's more interested in if he's that rigid. Is it 5 a side football?

Im curious as to what your business is and his super serious 'hobby' is?

It's seriously underwhelming!

His hobby is a martial art and my business is sales based.

I find myself in a reverse situation at times because I am the one with a high-commitment hobby (if you can put it this way). If DH needs to work away and can't mind the kids on a particular night then I ask friends, pull in all favours or find a babysitter.

If both your work and DH's hobby are important enough then just make it happen. There are always ways.

work trumps hobby every time

What if the work makes no financial contribution to the household, and never will? Isn't the "work" then just the workers hobby?

(Not suggesting that this is true in the OP case, just a general question.)

(Answers that ignore the "never will" part of my question are invalid.)

I imagine your new business is a MLM business and he (despite saying he does) doesn't take it seriously. Unfortunately this is not uncommon and was a major factor is why, when I was working and looking after 2 preschoolers while trying to develop a business, the complete lack of support and compromise meant it didn't do as well as it could! Good luck!

I don't think anything can trump anything else "every time".

Flexibility and a willingness to help each other out are important.

Rigidity and a refusal to miss training so your wife can attend an important meeting crucial to the success of her fledgling business is just shite.

Work trumps hobby.

If work will never make a contribution, it's, err, a hobby then, innit?

FraidyCat What if the work makes no financial contribution to the household, and never will? Isn't the "work" then just the workers hobby?

If it doesn't make money and isn't likely to do very soon, then its not work, its a hobby and the more serious hobby trumps.

These are the rules!

DH and I were both quite serious athletes when we met, and know quite a few elite level athletes. Most elite athletes actually have a far more flexible attitude to training than many amateurs. In that, its the doing of the training that's important, not the attending training at a particular time and place. Obviously this varies, but all sorts of things can disrupt your training, quite often travel, and you need to develop strategies for dealing with it. Maybe quite difficult with martial arts, but there must be an alternative session, failing which I'd just substitute my own gym session for one time instead.

Is he just grasping at past athletic glories is he really in with a chance?

Or is he working up to a specific belt or something?

It's a grading, not an actual competition. I was trying to be vague...

He is pretty good. He's good at everything he does tbh.

I guess they only have so many of those per year so the opportunity to do again isn't that easy. I think his block booking for the other nights could be a bit more flexible when hes not doing anything specifically.