To ask MIL not to send a letter from Santa this year, because I want to do all the Santa things?

[Selfishsanta]

Last year MIL sent DS a letter from Santa, one of those ones off the internet where you fill in the kid's name and what they want for Christmas and then they get a letter in the post. He had only just turned 2 so didn't have a clue about Christmas really, but he knew it was something exciting to get a letter in the post. She also did one for his cousin, who is a year older, and she understood and enjoyed it. It was a lovely thought and she is an adoring granny who is equally adored by her grandchildren. This is now the first Christmas where DS understands it all and he is already excited by all the Christmas stuff in shops.

I expect she'll want to do it again this year. However, I don't want her to, because I want all the Santa stuff all to myself! (By myself, I mean me and DH, but he's not that bothered with the practicalities and is happy to leave it to me). To me, Santa coming is such a fabulous and shortlived aspect of childhood and is a treat for me for being the person who goes in in the night all the rest of the year round.

I want to say to her, Do you mind if I do the Santa letter thing this year?

I know it's selfish, but is it unreasonable?

[Calloh]

I agree with Dizzy.

You're quite right Kipper that the roles are different but with some there can be lot of overlap.

Some in-laws want to do stuff with their GC that usually parents do (open stockings with them, decide on rules and appropriateness of present and undermine the parents' requests).

Some grandparents have never surrendered parental authority over their own children so it never occurs to them that this authority does not extend to their grandchildren.

[Calloh]

God, I referenced Dizzy and kipper twice by both her fab names and meant Tinkerball

[EachandEveryone]

OMG I only asked my sister yesterday if I could order my DN a letter from Santa or did she want to do it? As my sister is huge into Christmas I felt it was only right to ask her. Her reply was "as you have more time spare than me that would be great. Thanks" I ignored the little dig about me bring childless therefore having loads of time and money on my hands! The point is I wouldn't have done it without asking first and if she'd said no fair enough. There's loads of Chrismas things you can do for your boy. I'd let her have this one. And say thanks.

[sangfreude]

I've read your posts on this thread and I don't think your being unreasonable. I also think a few posters on here may well be mils themselves! You feel she undermines you and that you are an irrelelvancy to her in comparison to her feelings for her kids and grand kids. You've said you try to include her at all times.
Why the fuck shouldn't you create traditions with your own children around things you value and gain great enjoyment from, like santa?
Believe me, if you keep bending over backwards to accommodate someone who you feel doesn't value you, you will reach breaking point with her in years to come. Your feelings are totally valid.