to politely decline to use the disabled loo?

[MsIngaFewmarbles]

I was waiting in a long queue for the loo in a coffee chain and saw a lady with crutches head into the disabled toilet. She came out while I was still queueing. Another lady further back in the queue caught my eye and offered for me to go in first. I declined saying that I wasn't disabled so wasn't entitled to use it. She then countered away to her friends telling them that she was going to use it as 'it was the law' that if it wasn't being used you could use it. I couldn't face an argument so just ignored her. It's still bothering me that I should have said something to her and corrected her.

Don't be ridiculous.

They don't ALL, Bonkers. But some do. How do you know who does and doesn't?

And even if they don't, they still have the right to use the accessible loo.

And sorry, who's being offensive?

I'll admit to using the disabled toilet once. I was pregnant and stopped at a highway service centre, and a tour bus had stopped at the same time. Massive queue to the ladies toilets. I was genuinely desperate, and dashed in to the disabled toilet. I still feel bad about it, and have never done it since.

Are you ok bonkers? You sound unwell.

There is nothing offensive about saying that someone who had continence issues, has continence issues.

And there are plenty of other reasons why disabled toilets need to be accessible and why it might ne difficult to wait for them.

Yabu

Many are lucky enough to be able to use disabled/accessible toilets AND run of the mill 'public' toilets my DD does not because she has a large electric wheelchair....If I'm out shopping I personally wouldn't use a bigger,disabled loo because I am quite able to use other toilets. Because my DD goes at a slower pace (much the same as others with mobility difficulties) it can be a rush if we need to be somewhere and we have to have a loo stop. if everyone thought Feck it lets just use the accessible loo because they can't be arsed to walk to the other loos it is a tad selfish....If I was waiting in a queue for the loos and a child was stood behind me urgently needing to go (dancing from foot to foot/upset/getting agitated) I would let them go in front of me if I wasn't in an urgent need. however if the loos are baby change/disabled/shared loos then that's fine. It's all about thinking and helping others ( I would also let a pregnant lady in front too-if I know).

I'd take the toilet too if there weren't disabled people. I wouldn't wait and keep a stall open for the sake of it. If there was someone that needed it, then obviously they get priority. But refusing to use it and telling another person they should "just because" borders on being sanctimonious so you can put on a show of being a "good person".

Thing is, you can never predict how quick you're going to be. So you check to make sure there's nobody disabled waiting -how do you do this BTW? Ask everyone individually? Because disabled doesn't always mean visibly - then pop in. While you're there, you realise your tampon has leaked and needs changing. Your spare is right at the bottom of your huge bag. It gets stuck in the tricky packaging. You fumble, drop it in the loo. Have to root through your bag again for another one and start again. Then you realise you need a poo. Not exactly a once in a lufetime situation pulled out of thin air, these things happen. Not your fault of course but neither is a disabled person that way "on purpose".

That's an oddly specific scenario.

I can't say I've ever dropped a tampon in the toilet. Or had a poo sneak up on me like that. Moreover, a small wait is not going to kill a disabled person any more than it's going to kill an able bodied person. If a disabled person is there, they take priority. If they're not, then when you get out, they take priority if they arrive after you got in. They don't sit there and wait in line and hope it's open on their turn, that's never how it worked. They just take it when it's available the first chance it's available. That's how it's always worked.

No, it won't kill them, but it's not nice being eighteen, out with your mates reeking of piss because some selfish fucker has used the disabled loo because it was empty and they could.

If a disabled person is there, they take priority. If they're not, then when you get out, they take priority if they arrive after you got in. They don't sit there and wait in line and hope it's open on their turn, that's never how it worked. They just take it when it's available the first chance it's available. That's how it's always worked.

Disabilities aren't always apparent. Which is why I never assume people using the disabled loos don't need to, but don't use them myself any more because I no longer need to. When I did need to, I was very grateful to the people who left them free for me.

Moreover, a small wait is not going to kill a disabled person any more than it's going to kill an able bodied person.

No, some disabilities do indeed mean you can't wait like anyone else. Autism can mean that, even for seemingly high functioning people, and continence issues and pelvic floor ones can definitely mean that! Disabilities aren't always apparent to the casual observer, and nor are the ramifications of that disability.

OP, YANBU.

If there is a disabled toilet wouldn't the people who have disabilities queue there rather then just join an ordinary queue? That would be a fairly obvious sign that there are people who need to use the disabled loo and if no one is standing there queuing wouldn't be safe to assume that everyone in the ordinary queue does need to use the disabled toilet? Or am I missing something?

I agree with hazchem - disabilities may not be apparent but wouldn't someone who needed the accessible loo have gone straight in if it was free?

Don't criticise the OP though. She couldn't have used it with a clear conscience.

There are sometimes combined with baby changing, so i guess they are not always solely for the use of disabled people.

If nobody who it is designated for needs it, why not use it?

Because if everyone used it it would never be free when someone did come among and need it

Err along

YY bulbasaur

There are people with disabilities who, when they feel able to, wait and use the regular toilets because they have first hand experience of needing the disabled access toilet and it's not available. To me that says all anyone needs to know about the importance of leaving the accessible toilet available wherever possible.

There's no such thing as disabled loo. it's called accessible toilet.
take it away

So who sets the standard for the level of disability required to use the 'accessible' facilities?

What if someone has a disability but doesn't look disabled enough? Do they just have to put up with the frowny faces and being secretly judged?

YABU. If there is no-one disabled then you are entitled to use it. Had someone come in while you were mid wee, I'm sure they could have waited a minute or two, just as they would have to do if another disabled person was in there.

I have not rtft.
Has anyone pointed out that the woman with crutches may not have been disabled? She may have been, but equally may have broken her leg, which does not legally count as a disability due to its temporary nature. Obviously she would have still had a greater need for access than a non-disabled person with no breakages, but only on a par with, say, a pg woman with bladder issues and/or SPD.

No you're not fucking entitled!