"Friends" Asking For Free Work

[TheChandler]

Name-changed to avoid id.

I've been contacted 8 or 9 times in the last 6 months by friends/acquaintencies/DH's family asking for free advice/services relating to my job. Its really annoying. These requests usually come at weekends or evenings or, in the case of DH's family, on social visits ie when I'm relaxing.

Not only do I not want to give them free advice, because it inevitably involves sifting through the complex and often very personal details of their problem, it could get me into hot water professionally, as there are certain rules of engagement you should adhere to, not least for insurance purposes in case you get it wrong.

And its usually stuff they wouldn't bother paying for ie it doesn't bother them enough to actually pay for proper advice, but they obviously see me as a free source they can turn to at any time (quite often the requests come via FB). It puts me in a really embarrassing position, and I simply directed the last couple to websites where they could read material themselves which would give them the answers they wanted. I am now being called "stuck up" and a "snob" by these acquaintencies. I mean, seriously?

Any advice on ways of stopping these damned annoying requests for "freebies" coming through in the first place? Quite often I find myself being forced to be polite and give some very general comments, it wastes hours of my personal relaxation time and they inevitably don't act on it anyway.

I don't think any professions are exempt. I am a teacher. I pay another teacher to help my children with one of their subjects (crap at my school and I can't complain as I work there). So, we have a secret tutor who costs £££ and is brilliant. However, she tells me that, because of her subject, Maths, she is constantly being asked to just help x with. Or see y for a few hours.

Fortunately, this only happens to me occasionally (English teacher) and I just tell the parents to make them read more!

I get this a lot. I'm an accountant though, in my case they always seem to think I'm a bloody IFA - then get really huffy when I say that I'm not allowed to give financial advice.

most accountants I come across seem to think they can give Financial Advice!

'No can do as I'm not insured for any advice that isn't through the firm'.

I get this a lot. I'm an accountant though, in my case they always seem to think I'm a bloody IFA - then get really huffy when I say that I'm not allowed to give financial advice.

most accountants I come across seem to think they can give Financial Advice!

As an accountant/tax adviser I feel I should clarify - of course we give financial advice!, what most of us don't do is give investment advice. People do expect us to know what will happen with the economy, have a magic ball and tell them which pension to invest in or not etc etc. But investments are a highly specialised area that most of us are not regulated for. Same as most IFAs are not equipped for the advice we give.

Sorry, maybe I should clarify. I'm an IFA.

If you are a writer, musician, photographer or other artistic type, it's even worse - not just friends but big corporations expect freebies now.
a group [[https://www.facebook.com/groups/263804607094399/]]

I used to be benefits advisor and spent all day at work completing DLA and AA forms, my mum used to ring me on the weekend and say 'I've assured Aunty Mary you would be happy to fill in a few forms for her' this would be a distant relative I hadn't seen for years, the forms would be 50 pages long and actually I did mind very much.

Slightly off tangent but work that is not paid for is work that is not valued.

That is why I am against internships.

Its a maxim I stick to.

If someone will not pay then they do not value my work.

What Boysandme said - I meant investment advice, sorry. And you're exactly right about the crystal ball... Still better than being asked outright how to evade tax though!

The one thing i do occasionally ask lawyers/accountants for is certifying documents. If you.asked the bank or post office or gp they would charge, but i often ask friends to do it, and do it myself when asked. But that is a two minute job!

I run a community garden and am always asked for freebies. People want me to go, sort out other people's gardens and dispose of their waste for free. It is usually council workers suggesting this.

I say to them 'why are you asking me'
'Because you seem to know what you are doing'
'Are you saying that my skills are not worth paying for? I already volunteer 500 hours a year, and you want me to do more? How many hours a year do you volunteer for each year?'

bedraggled, I certainly don't begrudge certifying copies or signing passports forms. At work we all do each other's. (Don't get me started on how unfair the passport system is to those without what the Home Office considers 'the right sort of friends'!)

I get this constantly. I had someone recently ask me to do an ongoing contract for next to nothing, "mates rates" apparently (he also asked a lot of our friends for freebes).
He turned me down when I sent him my estimate and went for an outsourced "solution" for about 10% of my cost. Then four months later I notice that he's been looking at my linkedin profile. I'm guessing that you get what you pay for and he now needs someone to do it properly!

I charge friends, they get a small discount, but I charge. One old friend I didn't and I felt abit taken for a ride somehow totally agree with morebetas comment about your work being valued, so won't do it again.

More than happy to witness documents - although watch out freeloading relatives of our neighbour tried to use a signing session to get quite complex legal advice - dh and I not impressed.

There is a section of society who are used to not paying for anything. My mother a teacher coached a pupil, spent a lot of time. The mother refused to pay because educations free in this country.

SolidGoldBrass
If you are a writer, musician, photographer or other artistic type, it's even worse - not just friends but big corporations expect freebies now

Agree. Friend is self employed cake maker. Always being asked to donate to such and such a cause. Even is she ignored the substantial cost of ingredients the time she would spend is time she can't actually earn her living. But somehow she is the bad guy.

madsadbad Are you free for a few mins, I have a quick question?

This thread has cheered me up a bit. Or depressed me - freeloading is obviously quite widespread.

FunkyBoldRibena's example takes the biscuit though, since she is already volunteering - for free!

'No can do as I'm not insured for any advice that isn't through the firm'.

To which they answer "Yes, but could you just give me your comments on this and spew up half an hour's worth of their personal details". Its very hard to get someone off the phone or ignore someone like that. They know that, and play on it.

Kerala There is a section of society who are used to not paying for anything

Agree. Its either that or family members. I don't want non-guaranteed plumbing or car repairs, carried out in a hurry in your spare time. And I don't want to risk losing my practising certificate to give you £6000 legal work in return! And just because I met you through a hobby we all do, I don't want abuse for me along the lines of "you might have the benefit of better educated than us but you're a stuck up snob" for politely refusing to get involved.

When I was younger, I once spent nearly three days preparing a report for my PIL on all that they needed to know about renting property in their area, complete with contact telephone numbers and names for all the licenses and registrations they needed, tax advice and possible pitfalls. They had asked me to do it as they were thinking of letting out their home while living in their other home overseas.

They took it, didn't bother looking at it or saying thank you and as things turned out, went abroad and left their home to one of those agencies who guarantee a minimum rental income no matter what happens to sort out. I had obviously advised them to meet all potential tenants in person or use a reputable local agency, check references, etc.. Six months later they came back to a trashed home. Immediately on the phone to me "We want to sue the agency and the tenants, can you get this done asap and we want the money back to replace stuff". (Yes, they had ignored my advice to get landlord's insurance too).

Now they're huffy with me because I didn't do it. I get little snidey jibes all the times along the lines of "TheChandlers not a real lawyer, she can't even sort out a property dispute". I don't visit much now.

Apologies for length of rant, but if one person thinking of asking for free advice or work reads this and changes their mind, I will have achieved something!

Excuse typos above! You get the picture...

I do ask my boss (colleague) for the odd bit of family/property advice and to be honest (as I work for them) they happily give it... solicitors.

However my boss says to me and I say to the askers that if they want further advice they'll have to make a proper appointment and be charged proper fees. My boss (solicitor for 30 years) doesn't do mates rates, even for a close friend of his who's been made bankrupt but he does help them out for the proper fees.

OP re your PILs rant re the asking. I'd just ignore... which you are doing.

My boss had the bankrupt friend of his go with another solicitors firm to handle I think the sale of a business and the friend being a consultant or non acting director. Of course it all went tits up. if someone goes for other advice on whatever matter (professional) and it goes wrong - there's always caveat emptor.

I told all my family members very early on to make clear to anyone who asked that I was not going to be doing freebies. For immediate family I will always give a view, while making clear what is and isn't my area.

Anyone else gets cheerfully sacked off without a second thought. I don't feel guilty about it.

Your PILs sound very ungrateful indeed! Not to mention rude.

I regularly do work for friends and family for free - some of it takes literally an entire week. I see it as something I can offer, as I'm not good at other stuff like DIY! Some people give back, others don't. I don't think you can go into every relationship expecting an equal and opposite return for what you put in. As long as it's not seriously unbalanced (e.g. your PILs!!) I see it as a place where I can be helpful.

Can you be clear about the difference between personal and professional advice and create a system with several 'levels' - e.g. initial quick advice: use some kind of disclaimer to state that this is NOT professional advice and not guaranteed but that your personal opinion as a friend not a professional is X. Then proper advice, which passes through the official channels but is paid for at mates' rates - interfacing between the two with something like 'I'd have to look into that if you wanted personalised advice and it might take a while. I do mates' rates, at £x an hour, which is a discount of X%. I do have to charge because it's not insured advice unless it goes through the firm, and I could get into a lot of trouble.'

outofcontrol I could do (as you suggest) if I ran my own business but my firm simply wouldn't take on that type of work anyway. I just don't want to give people legal advice for free, its not appropriate in the legal profession, and theres no such thing as "mate's rates" within it.

All advice has to be done properly and subject to professional indemnity insurance (which is expensive enough and which I have to pay for anyway). It would be a minefield and simply not worth it. It would be a bit like asking a surgeon to do cut price minor operations in their own home, but asking clients to sign a disclaimer saying they promise not to sue if their leg drops off or something!

My daughters and I ( we are all lawyers) gave their father a cohabitation contract recentylo but as that will hopefully ensure the almost £1m I had to give him (their inheritance) goes to them not his girl friend I suspect we had a bit of a stake in that document.

I had a call from a neighbour on Saturday when I was very busy working, I had also had to take one child somewhere and just had 45 minutes before taking the next one somewhere who wanted me to countersign his daughter's passport. I gave him an exact time to come over which thankfully he stuck to and I did it but it was intrusive at home at the weekend and I was busy. I am not sure how grateful he really seemed to be. Hopefully we will all get our rewards in heaven....

Yes, they always phone at weekends. I guess they don't want to do it while you're at work. Its not because they don't want to bother you at work, its because they don't want to have to pay for it!

Beginning to realise there a few people out there who are friendly because they like the idea of having a lawyer as a friend in case they need free legal advice.