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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to change her name to Doris...

131 replies

bertieatemybisqui · 17/11/2014 20:18

Hello I'm new to all of this so please go easy on me!

My dd is 13 months and called Emma. Only somehow Doris has evolved.

It started off as a nickname but in the last six months it became the default choice. Now she seems like a Doris. We bizarrely answers to both. She also answers to Monkey!

Now I know I'm probably giving her an identity crisis and I know Doris is a marmite name but it seems to have evolved...

So much so that in a few years the change could be made by deed poll.

Is this nuts?

OP posts:
Mehitabel6 · 17/11/2014 20:46

Yes - nuts

Bowlersarm · 17/11/2014 20:46

No, it's nothing to do with it being an old name. It's an ugly name. There is a reason why a lot of the 'old lady' names have come back into fashion without Doris being one of them.

Catsmamma · 17/11/2014 20:47

i love the name Monkey....i have a pre approved list (by me) for dd to use and Monkey is right at the top of the boy's list :D

and even if she chooses something else I shall use it to spite her. ;)

BathshebaDarkstone · 17/11/2014 20:48

My DD used to turn just as readily for "Monster" as for her name, DS turns just as readily for "Dumpling" as for his! GrinI don't think she'll have an identity crisis, it's a great pet name. Smile

pictish · 17/11/2014 20:49

I don't think it's an ugly name, but if I had to be Emma or Doris, I'd choose Emma.

Original poster
bertieatemybisqui · 17/11/2014 20:51

Its funny but I would have said the same. But the more I use it the more attractive it becomes....

Just like the bloke one thinks of as Hmm at first who then becomes Wink

OP posts:
littlejohnnydory · 17/11/2014 20:54

I love Doris! Having said that, changing name by deed poll causes confusion. But then so does being known by a different name to your given name (I've done both!). I'd wait til she's old enough to choose then give her the option. See what she uses for herself, how she introduces herself and whether Doris sticks.

Original poster
bertieatemybisqui · 17/11/2014 20:55

littlejohny what confusion does deed poll cause?

OP posts:
Gunpowder · 17/11/2014 20:56

I LOVE Doris. I'd do what someone up thread suggested and add as a middle name, then she can choose.

insanityscratching · 17/11/2014 20:57

She liked Pearl because there were no other Pearls in Primary now in Secondary she sticks with Lucy I think because being small in a huge school she feels more anonymous that way and Lucy is more in keeping with the names of her peers.
I think at 11 she doesn't want to stand out from the crowd whereas when she was younger she liked being unique I suppose.

helensburgh · 17/11/2014 20:58

No don't change her name.

My two kids rarely go at home by their real names , we have a few evolved nicknames for them.

I sometimes forget when I'm talking tompeoeabout them!!

Original poster
bertieatemybisqui · 17/11/2014 21:01

Middle name.... Hmmmmnnnnn why didn't I anticipate this?! Hmm Doris wasn't even on the list!

OP posts:
ElkTheory · 17/11/2014 21:03

I think Doris is a nice name but my name preferences are neither here nor there. What matters are your preferences (and your daughter's when she is old enough to express them).

In your situation I don't think I'd officially change her name though. I'd keep Doris as a family nickname for now and let her decide on the legalities when she is older.

poolomoomon · 17/11/2014 21:22

Some names have aged really well over the years and are still 'in vogue' if you like now, Emma is one of those classic names that hasn't lost its sparkle. Doris otoh most definitely has had its day and I can't see it coming back any time soon... A lot of older names have been returning, my DC have slightly older names but they're still current and it doesn't sound like I'm calling my 98 year old Gran when I shout their names Grin.

Doris is reserved for those over 70 I'm afraid. Cute you have a NN for her now as a toddler but ultimately at 14 she'll be thanking you for sticking with Emma, trust. My dad used to nickname me Esmerelda because he wanted to call me it but my mum wouldn't let him, thank god he didn't get his way!

Original poster
bertieatemybisqui · 17/11/2014 21:24

Its because I like everything neat and tidy and official. I just wish I knew which one she'll prefer.

I men a teenager who likes to be known as Queenie. Her real name is Elizabeth. Kids do like grolly names some times.

OP posts:
VanitasVanitatum · 17/11/2014 21:29

There's just no need to change it right now. If she sticks to it I guess you could change it later, but I agree that could become a real embarrassment as a teen. She doesn't have a concept of that at the moment I'd imagine, but she will.

Original poster
bertieatemybisqui · 17/11/2014 21:32

vanita is the name Doris really embarrassing?

OP posts:
Jennifersrabbit · 17/11/2014 21:33

To be fair I recently worked with someone called Daisy. So was quite surprised when she sent me an email in the name of (let's say) Sarah.

Answer that her parents had named her Sarah, alwYs called her Daisy, but it had never been changed officially and she was getting very fed up with it!

Maybe adding it as a middle name would be a good compromise?

LadyLuck10 · 17/11/2014 21:33

Yes I think it would be an embarrassing name for a teen

Original poster
bertieatemybisqui · 17/11/2014 21:35

Do you mind me asking why its embarrassing?

Its not Fanny or Mungo!

OP posts:
VanitasVanitatum · 17/11/2014 21:36

I can absolutely see how it's adorable for her, you love her you love the name. Anything can be embarrassing for a teen that makes them stand out in what could be perceived as an 'uncool' way.

There are a lot of unusual names out there now, maybe no one will bat an eyelid, maybe I'm being over cautious. I know what the 13 year old girls of my acquaintance would say though, that can be very mean.

VanitasVanitatum · 17/11/2014 21:38

It's just not an aesthetically pleasing sound. My dp has a name I really disliked at first, a very old man name. Obviously now I love it, I fee differently about it, but my first impressions of it were aesthetic, my affection for it came because it's his.

Original poster
bertieatemybisqui · 17/11/2014 21:41

,vanitas thanks for the explanation.

I guess I like it as its a strong sounding name. Apparently its an endangered name Sad

OP posts:
pennefab · 17/11/2014 21:42

YANBU.

Call her Doris or whatever now. She may/may not grow out of it. When DS was 3-4.5 he went by a completely unrelated name. We have no idea how or why he chose it. He also called me a nickname for about 9 months that had nothing in common with mom or my given name.

Today, he goes by his given name and calls me mom. We all fondly remember the nicknames!

ElkTheory · 17/11/2014 21:47

I think Doris is well due for a revival. I imagine that ten years ago people would have shuddered and recoiled at names (many of them "granny names") that are now wildly popular. So you're probably just ahead of the curve, OP. Smile

As I posted above, I wouldn't make an official change but I don't see why you shouldn't if that's your decision. It's not as though you're planning to change her name to Helicopter or something silly like that.