To have let this random nobody get to me?

[askyfullofstars]

I am overweight.
Only by about two stone now (have lost nearly 6).
3 times a week I go to the gym after work. The gym I use is in the town centre where I work, its convenient for where I work but its in a bit of a hotspot for local drunks/druggies etc etc.
As I came out the gym, I went towards the car park, its not particularly well lit and was quite quiet.
Some pisshead approached asking me why fat people go to the gym "why do fat people go to the gym, youre fat why do you pay money and go? Why not just walk, come on fatty why why"....tried to ignore him but he just kept at it, couldnt say anything back, because I felt a bit vulnerable because its dark and quiet down there.
By the time we got to the end he was shouting fatty fatty fat bitch at mrat me.
This little road leads into an open square which is quite busy so I walked into it. He then ran off laughing.
I feel so humiliated and I keep veering between angry and upset. I did nothing??!! Why would someone think its ok to just abuse a stranger in the street??

He is probably an alcoholic who is totally miserable. He had made you feel like shit because he feels like shit and he thinks he can transfer it on to someone else. He is completely failing on his life. You know you are succeeding in your goal, so it doesn't matter what he thinks.

You will probably feel crap about this for a couple of days, then forget it. He will still be living out his miserable, painful existence. As pp have said, he deserves your pity!

You've done really well with your weight loss. And honestly some random person who sinks so low as to make comments like that in the street to a stranger must be quite frankly a bit mad. Don't give it another thought.

You are dealing with your demons. Unfortunately he is not dealing with his.

I am bloody jealous of your amazing weight loss. Grrrrrr. I wouldn't shout in the street, though.

Rembrandt That made me chuckle thank you.

I feel a lot better just reading this thread, thank you.
thistle Id not thought the motive would've been that I was a woman, just that I was fat.

Hansie, Id thought about a different gym, but Im generally happy there I like it, I like the staff, the classes/equipment and its just convenient. I found it so hard to find time to fit in exercise between work/homelife this way I can just pop in on the way home.

I am so angry for you!!!

I know it's hard but please try not let him get to you OP, you've done amazingly well. You should be damn proud of yourself! and hope you're ok now

And larry I just randomly weighed myself one day and was shocked. I suffered terrible pnd and ate when I was low.
I realised I had to change the way I looked at food, and try and be healthier, not just for my own good, but to set a good example for my son.
I just eat better food and exercise, Im not really sure how to explain it, it was a psychological shift.
I still treat myself but in moderation. Its been hard but I feel so much better.

Hi OP
Just to say well done on your amazing achievement! You are truly an inspiration.
I agree with the poster above who says this is not about your weight but that you are a woman walking alone. Please don't let this horrid person get to you, easier said than done. You are the better person - they will have gone back to their miserable lives now. And take care in that case park!

I work in MH so very, very rarely get upset about random and ill - deserved abuse as I'm used to it.

He was pissed. I'm a bit pissed OP as it's Friday night and I've had a hard week and I think you're BLOODY GORGEOUS and you've lost loads of weight which is really hard and now I'm going to hug you and sing Katy Perrys 'Baby you're a firework' into your ear in a tuneless but enthusiastic fashion.

Listen to THIS pissed person!!

alwaysstaytoolong I luffs you (hic).

He's going to say something to the wrong person one day and earn himself a pasting hopefully

to you OP.

I once got verbally abused by a pisshead in a pub - kept telling me a looked like a man. I don't. It still really upset me though. I might have told him very loudly to fuck off

I too think it's just that you were a woman by yourself. Fat is such an easy insult to chuck at someone, particularly women, I have known a really slim woman who was heckled for being fat - just because the fuckers know that bloody hurts and fills you with self-doubt.

If you wouldn't ask an idiot like this, in that state, for an opinion on anything else, then I really think that you should disregard his horrible and jealous opinion on your wonderful body.

Well done for losing six stone! Crumbs, that's superb! And well done also for keeping yourself safe and heading for the square where there were people around.
To me he sounds weird, all by himself shouting at a lone woman like that. I wonder if he had MH issues?
I so wish I could lose a stone or two, I do admire you!

So sorry that you had to put up with that totally undeserved and untrue abuse

Just remember...it says loads about him but bears no truth about you....he's obviously a shit, who has had a shit life, probably was given no respect or love from his parents and has no self esteem, so the only way he can feel good about himself is to put people down.
Shut the door on what happened, go home and have a big glass of wine and a lovely long bubble bath

I luffs you too OP!. You're great, you've done more than many people are able to achieve and you should be proud of it.

To cheer you up, I've endured some horrible abuse over the years which I won't go into as it's happy Friday but one time a service user said I was a 'tree - swinging monkey lesbian'. I'm neither a monkey or a lesbian so it was such an innovative and random insult that I burst out laughing and the service user did too.

Oh, you poor thing.

A friend of mine who was very overweight used to get this kind of thing all the time. When we used to go out, people would be whispering, pointing and giggling and it's fucking disgraceful. She told me recently that a random woman came up to her at the bus stop and said 'have you thought about a diet?' Her response (she was a sharp-tongued lass, bless her) was 'have you thought about a brain transplant?'

Really, really huge congratulations on your success, OP!

Try and use the unanimous support and positivity on this thread to drown out the nobody.

Drunk men somehow seem to think that the drink excuse this kind of behaviour.

I am a non-white immigrant and I was pretty happy to discover that in the UK that people are really appalled at racist bullying. HOWEVER, it's happened to me a couple of times and always drunk men on the other end.

fuck' em. idiots will be idiots. forget about him.

don't - you have lost loads and you will continue to - he will always be a cunt xxxxx

What a fucking gobshite.

I am two stone overweight. We look fab.

What a horrid experience but as others have said think about how sad and pathetic his life is, people who are pissed, wandering round car parks on their own, shouting abuse at strangers are not in a happy place.

He's a sad bastard who wouldn't dare abuse anyone that might just knock him out. He ran off when you reached a busy area, yes I bet he did!

What an achievement for you, pity the sad fella who is unlikely to ever achieve anything of note.

What a bullying coward he was!!!

He wouldn't have said it elsewhere would he.

Well done on your weightloss and healthier living.

With hindsight, and the safety opf myumsnet, you could have said 'I could walk but then I'd be more like to bump into dickheads like you'

Fat can be shifted (apart from mine which has decided I am a perfect host and is staying put ) but being a complete arse can't

At least you were heading home, was that his weekend night out? Hanging round in a car park? The tool!!

If it helps cheer you up, I was out one night and (i am a size 16!) a lad turned round and said ' I see you're getting over your anorexia' I had no idea who he was, however at 5 foot he was the same height as me so I cheerily replied 'And I can see you're getting over your fear of heights'

I was sooo chuffed I managed to answer back on thespot

Don't let this dickhead make you feel bad or detract from your achievements! To lose six stone is incredible. Think about it - what sort of life must he lead? Do you think he's a happy, well rounded sucessful man, or a drunken failure who has to upset strangers in order to feel better about himself?
Don't give the pissed up twat a second thought.

I'm not suprised you were upset. That is a really aggressive thing to do.

Have a hug and a .