To ask if it sounds like I have an eating disorder?

[IAmInAState]

About five years ago I started making myself sick when I felt like I had eaten too much. This only really happened about once or twice a week at first but over the years it's just gotten worse.

I will eat a lot of food in one go and and will then make myself throw up. I have never cut food out or starved myself or used laxatives or anything like that. How often I do this varies and it can be several times a week to not doing at all for a few weeks until I start again.

I know it's bad for me and it's an unhealthy habit but it's like I can't stop.

I think it's a problem but I'm not sure I would call it an eating disorder. For starters I don't look sick or unhealthy. I am not skinny at all either. I look fine. People who know me would have no idea that I do this as I look healthy. When you see articles on eating disorders all the pictures always show people who are very clearly unhealthy, very skinny and ill looking. I don't look like that at all.

So I don't know how I could have an eating disorder in that case. I just know what I do isn't normal and that's why I haven't told anyone .

Tell that to the doctor if you think it's SH-related. Do they know about your previous cutting? Do you know why you self-harmed in the past/still do now? The more you can enlighten the doctor, they're then more equipped to signpost/refer you to the most helpful place for you right now. For example, you don't want to be referred to an eating disorders clinic if you're not being sick in an ED context - that might mean you miss out on the most appropriate therapy by being in the wrong place.
Best best best wishes to you. You've been very brave in facing up to this.

You have an appointment and are starting to get your head around your issue. You know you have a problem and that was really the first step. Please just don't cancel the appointment at the last minute because you are scared.

Do you have anyone in RL that knows about the SH and the purging that maybe could go with you for moral support?

If not, post here. There are many, manu MNers that will be here to hold your hand through the process. Just post if you need some more support. Be kind to yourself.

Hi iaminastate,
You could contact the eating disorders charity B-eat. They have a phone line and other support available. They will not tell you what to do or pressure you (unlike some posters here!) but will listen and support you.

From my own experiences I would not get caught up in whether or not you fit the classic description of bulimia. A bit of a red herring which could prevent you taking it seriously enough.
Having an ED is about having a disordered or abnormal relationship with food, this can manifest in many different ways.
I spent a decade of my life vomiting up food but was never really a huge binger and felt a fraud and that I didn't really have an ed as I didn't feel I fit the profile of AN or BN.
In hindsight I did have an ed.
All the best .

I am mostly worried about not being taken seriously, especially as I look fine and you wouldn't guess there was anything wrong with me

From what I've read here, everyone who replied has taken you seriously. I think your GP will as well. Good luck, I'm really pleased you made the appointment.

Yes bloodshot eyes and pinprick pressure rashes on your face both happen to me when I've vomited.
You'd never know from the outside, I'm a normal weight, pretty successful and together and yet I still feel the urge to make myself sick when I'm stressed. You can't tell from the outside all the time. I'm so good at hiding binges most people don't even see me eating. You're not alone.

Training clinical psychologist here. This is definitely disordered eating, and I would reckon that you would be diagnosed as suffering from EDNOS (eating disorder otherwise not specified), as it doesn't meet the criteria for bulimia despite you suffering from bulimic tendencies. Suffering from EDNOS is by no means less series than suffering from either anorexia or bulimia, it just means your disorder does not fit as neatly into those categories as some peoples.

However no-one is able to diagnose you or tell you that you definitely do have an eating disorder apart from your doctor or other healthcare professional, so please do go and speak to your GP about this.

Eating disorder not otherwise specified*

(doesn't EDNOS have some ridiculous new name now, eating and feeding something or other?)

Hey OP. I'm sorry you've been struggling with this. It sounds tough. This is a really great webcomic written by a woman about her eating disorder and struggle with mental health, and it's really good, might be helpful.

Oops, too soon - here you go:
misspixnmix.tumblr.com/post/3232725607/i-do-not-have-an-eating-disorder-p01-ive-been

I hope you get the help you need. I went to my gp for similar reasons and nothing came of it.

Arh your right EDNOS doesn't exist anymore (I'm on a gap year due to having DD2 so haven't caught up with the DSM-V yrt). It's now Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder (OSFED).

I hope you're okay OP

I hope you're ok OP and that you go and see your GP.

I used to be the same as you, making myself sick after eating most evenings. When I got pregnant (7 years ago now) I managed to stop (apart from a bout of unrelated morning sickness). Since then I have only had a few relapses and have largely stopped, mostly due to lack of opportunity. If the DC are around it's harder to do it covertly and I would hate them to see me and wonder what on earth their mother is up to. I think it's more common than people think.

Please seek some help.

I could have written the OP. I am really bad for binge eating and, although I've always had the odd puking session since I was a teenager, I seem to be going through a bad patch just now. My teeth are slightly damaged but my dentist assumed it was caused by fizzy drinks; they feel very sensitive at the moment. I have IBS and that just exacerbates things because I have a real fear of the pain I get with a flare up, so I'll puke as a way of avoiding it (binges seem to bring it on - I'm always sick at Xmas, for example), as well as puking when the flare up is actually happening.

It makes me feel so stupid. I'm posting this right now because my DH just walked in on me puking in the toilet and gave me a bit of a row. As I was kneeling over the loo, I was thinking to myself: I'm an educated, sensible adult (I'm 30), I KNOW this is bad for me, I KNOW that if I want to control my weight I can (I'm a healthy weight, lower end of the healthy BMI range), so wtf am I doing? But I don't stop. I have a real thing about my teeth too, I'm a bit paranoid about keeping them nice, which makes it even more nonsensical.

I always thought it was about my weight. Years ago I was overweight and I lost a lot just through healthy (though obsessive) dieting. However, I think I'm starting to see now that it's actually a self-harm thing. I think the binge-purge cycle is a way of hurting myself. Again, it's irrational, but people do things like that when they've got problems, don't they? My extended family has recently been ripped apart because of something that happened to me a long time ago and it's been pretty traumatic. I'm happy right now, and I have a lovely, wonderful, concerned DH and a job that I'm enjoying for the first time in years, but I suppose all that stuff must be bubbling away under the surface somewhere. I don't know, I think I'm fine but then I throw up or I get a flare up or whatever and I wonder if I am.

I'm sorry OP, I'm talking about myself too much, but your post really struck a chord with me and I wanted you to know you're not alone. I suppose I should suggest counselling or something but I don't even want to do that myself. It seems very self indulgent when other people have so many more problems than me, and I feel like I should be able to sort myself out. I did go for a counselling session a few months ago on account of my family issues but it was harrowing and exhausting and I heard it gets worse before it gets better - I don't want to get worse!!

Good luck OP, I hope you get things sorted.

Hi upsetandsad, do look at getting specific help for your eating disorder - doesn't all have to be talk therapy about the underlying trauma, and can be focused on the eating disorder itself for now. As I mentioned upthread, there is eating disorder section and lots of supportive people. Don't let the shame and embarrassment hold you back - I know id hate to go to the gp, feels indulgent and loathsome but please act - it sounds as though its already having a bad effect on your health. GPs have seen it all, they're there to provide help.

Yes, as everyone else said. You have bulimia.

Bulimics are not underweight. And you only need to b/p an average of twice a week to get the diagnosis.

I have several friends with bulimic behaviour who are frighteningly underweight and b/p several times daily. But, technically, they do not have bulimia. Once your bmi drops below 17.5 then the disease is purging anorexia.

Bulimia is nothing to do with weight. Please don't use your healthy bmi as any evidence that you are ok.