To ask if it sounds like I have an eating disorder?

[IAmInAState]

About five years ago I started making myself sick when I felt like I had eaten too much. This only really happened about once or twice a week at first but over the years it's just gotten worse.

I will eat a lot of food in one go and and will then make myself throw up. I have never cut food out or starved myself or used laxatives or anything like that. How often I do this varies and it can be several times a week to not doing at all for a few weeks until I start again.

I know it's bad for me and it's an unhealthy habit but it's like I can't stop.

I think it's a problem but I'm not sure I would call it an eating disorder. For starters I don't look sick or unhealthy. I am not skinny at all either. I look fine. People who know me would have no idea that I do this as I look healthy. When you see articles on eating disorders all the pictures always show people who are very clearly unhealthy, very skinny and ill looking. I don't look like that at all.

So I don't know how I could have an eating disorder in that case. I just know what I do isn't normal and that's why I haven't told anyone .

the pictures you are looking at are associated with anorexia. you have bulimia you won't look sick on the outside as you aren't throwing up every meal so are still taking in calories and by the time you make yourself throw up your body will have absorbed some of the food anyway.

that doesn't mean you are healthy on the inside. throwing up on a regular basis like that is not good for you.

why do you do it?

An eating disorder is disordered eating. It doesn't mean "underweight". We have a word for that already- "underweight". You

You are binge-eating and making yourself vomit. You have an eating disorder and you have enough insight to have seen it's not normal. (Genuine well done for seeing that on your own.) Go to the GP and tell them what you've said here.

It sounds like classic bulimia to me - bingeing and purging. And it's true that most people with bulimia are not underweight. Please see your GP.

www.patient.co.uk/health/bulimia-nervosa-leaflet

A gp is unlikely to weigh you when you go to them asking for help. They will be more interested in what you have to say about your pattern of behaviour.

The tiredness is caused by the vomitimg, it damages the electrolytes in your brain causing decreased energy, amongst other things.

Lots and lots of fat and seriously obese people have Bulimia. your description of how it affects you is text book. you don't know how to stop. it affects your dental health. it will stop you absorbing the right sort of vitamins and minerals. it introduces acid from your stomach into your oesophagus and this can cause lots and lots of other issues down the line. you will get bad breath.

If you cannot break the cycle and it is getting worse then you seriously need some help. go to your GP tomorrow. don't put it off. he/she will have heard it all before so don't feel embarrassed. it is a very serious issue. but, you have taken the first and most important step in dealing with it. you have acknowledged that you do it and that it is a problem. well done for doing this. it takes a lot of courage.

Well tbh I kind of knew deep down that something wasn't right - that's why I posted in the first place. I wasn't ignoring anyone, just confused as my experience does seem somewhat different to everyone else's. I didn't realise that those articles with those pictures showing very skinny ill looking women would have only been showing people with anorexia (even if both anorexia and bulimia were mentioned in the article).

I guess I will have to try and ring up first thing tomorrow and try to get an appointment.

OP you have done the right thing and just made a very sensible decision about your health. I wish you well.

Good luck for your appointment! This is the first step for you to get better :)

The pictures you have seen will be more of the extremes and a lot of people with bulimia are not necessarily skinny but make themselves sick to avoid putting on weight as they have completely disordered eating, ie binge eating then making themselves sick.

I was bulimic when I was 17, in fact probably a mixture of both if I am honest, I would not eat for 3 or 4 days then binge eat and make myself sick. I was 6.5 stone and 5ft 4.

I never had any help, I hid it in loose clothes and eventually sorted myself out when I became happier with my life.

HOWEVER I really believe that if I had received help at the time I would not still be suffering with issues regarding my weight 18 years later. I still consider laxatives or making myself sick, I don't do that anymore as I know I mustn't do it but have lots of issues about how I look. Rationally I know I am slim but I still don't cope with being a normal weight very well, I would love people to say to me 'you look too thin or you are starting to look ill' which I know is absolutely ridiculous but I just cannot help it.

I do weird things like if DH is out I don't have dinner, I make up that I have had something though as it would upset him. It just gives me that bit of control. I know I could do with help but I just think it's too late and that although my mind is not great I am relatively healthy with my eating now and rarely miss a meal.

Please make that appointment, I wish I had done so all that time ago. Sorry if I am rambling, it's hard to talk about.

I think you have been very brave to come and ask for help and advice, op. Shame that some posters have even so curt with you. Funnily enough, those with eating disorders tend to be in denial about their condition ; who would have thought it, eh?! Getting stroppy with OP for not immediately accepting a diagnosis from an internet stranger is really not helpful.

If you can't and don't know how to stop being sick then yes, you definitely need and deserve to seek help, OP. good luck and I hope things get easier for you soon.

there is also information and support available from b-eat hope it goes well with GP

I didn't realise that those articles with those pictures showing very skinny ill looking women would have only been showing people with anorexia

Remember also that those pictures show the women after their eating disorder is very well-established and has seriously affected their physical health. They have typically been struggling for a good long time, and they first needed help for the eating disorder long, long before they became that malnourished.

You deserve help, too. Good luck for tomorrow.

Yea dear you have bulimia. This will cause problesm with your teeth, heart, esophagus, stomach, blood pressure just to name afew. Yes, see your GP. Tell him what you are doing and you have bulimia.

Please get help. People die from the effects of the stomach acid eating away at your body and the awakening of your heart. I assume you are still young and can beat this. There is a lot of help and support out there for this disease.

I have recently had to have major surgery (most of my stomach and intestines reomved) and part of the reason was due to a lot of vomiting that caused severe ulcers. (I was not bulimic but had had gastric bypass surgery for obesity and would over eat at times that caused me to vomit and it almost killed me.) pm me if you want more details. I would be happy to share.

Good luck and I hope you seek help. Just asking if you have a problem is the first step. The second is going for help. Xx

Good luck and remember there's an eating disorder thread if you want ongoing support. It's completely beatable with treatment although the temptation always remains. The quality of journalistic reporting in mainstream papers about all mental health issues is generally low, as it is in the population in general. Bulimia in particular isn't well understood because of the yuck factor. My man thought I was selfish for wasting food!

Not man, nan!! Phone...

Well the earliest appointment I could get was Tuesday with a GP who I have never met before which doesn't help my nerves about going .

What are you worried the GP will say/do?

I used self-induced vomiting as a form of self-harm, rather than in an extreme dieting sort of manner as you'd read about in the newspapers. I needed to see something come out of me, whether it be vomit or blood from cutting, or pulling my hair out.
Bulimia (and even anorexia) isn't always about wanting to be thin, and you don't always look "ill" when you're suffering. I hope you get on alright at the doctors and get some help.

You are making progress. It's OK to feel nervous. Remember we are here for some handholding if needed.

Well done op, you have taken a really big step and it is brave of you to do so.

Try not to worry about not having met the gp before. She/he won't judge you, they will listen and get you the help and support you want/need.

wobblyweebles I am mostly worried about not being taken seriously, especially as I look fine and you wouldn't guess there was anything wrong with me.

Peaceloveandbiscuits I wonder if that's what I'm doing too. I'm not fussed about my weight and I don't think I'm really self conscious about how I look but I did used to cut years ago. Even though I don't cut any more when I think about it I think I stopped not long before I started making myself sick instead.

OP I'm a GP and I would refer you to an eating disorders clinic without question.

Sorry I have been very tired over the past couple of days so I am only really "clicking" what some people have been saying now.

stop looking for ways to ignore them.

Bit harsh don't you think? I'm not ignoring anyone, I'm just finding it hard to get my head round this. Stuff like this is what happens to other people, it's hard to think it's really happening to me. I wouldn't have started this thread if I didn't think my habits were unhealthy at least.

the tell-tale signs are bad teeth and a whiff of vomit around them, also bloodshot eyes

I have bloodshot eyes a lot and sometimes people point that out. I don't know if that's related but I guess that's really the only physical symptom I have.