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Original poster

Had to have family dog put to sleep, can't stop crying

42 replies

Notmeagain1 · 12/11/2014 15:59

So my beloved bichon became sickly over the weekend. He seemed better Monday and yesterday until last night. He couldn't drink water without being sick and was having a hard time breathing. I called emergency vet number and they said to bring him this morning at 730. I tolk him in and he was in kidney failure and there was nothing they could do. I held him as they put him to sleep.

I feel so guilty for not taking him to emergency vet over the weekend (even though vet told me today it would have been same result).

I cant stop crying and dont know how I can go to work (in the states so still morning here) or how to tell my ds when he gets home from school. Im so sad. Holding him while he took his last breath is killing me.

Someone tell me to get my act together, please.

OP posts:
ourbabybeau · 12/11/2014 16:02

You don't need to get yourself together. You need to realise it is natural to grieve and you have to let yourself do it before you can move on. Don't feel guilty either- i'm sure what you did what you thought was the best for your beloved.

Call into work and take a day off sick. You won't do your job properly anyway. Have a good cry.

hugs

Original poster
Notmeagain1 · 12/11/2014 16:05

Thank you. Its so hard. Had him 14yrs.

OP posts:
mix56 · 12/11/2014 16:05

Heartbreaking...just remember that he was reassured by you holding him, & loving him.
I had to do this recently, & feel comforted in the knowledge that I was there, mine had rapid kidney failure too, the alternative is only to draw out the suffering. Take the day off, tell DS he has gone to chase rabbits in the sky..
It does get better.

manchestermummy · 12/11/2014 16:07

I'm so sorry for your loss. 14 years is a long time to be part of someone's family and you absolutely can take the time to grieve.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 12/11/2014 16:08

You don't have to pull yourself together, you're allowed to be sad. He's been your companion for 14 years. I'm so sorry. You were there with him at the end, looking after him, making sure he didn't suffer.

Be gentle with yourself x

ourbabybeau · 12/11/2014 16:09

It is very hard. We lost our dog over the summer. It will take a while but I promise you will get better and be able to move on in whatever way you wish. I know you probably don't want to do this- but could you put his stuff (bowls, bed, toys) somewhere so you aren't looking at them all the time? That was one of the first things I did and it honestly helped that I wasn't walking past them all the time and being reminded.

Cry, cry and cry some more. It helps. I promise.

Winterbells · 12/11/2014 16:09

I'm so sorry to hear that :(

You don't have to get your act together, you have lost a dear family pet, it's very sad and it is OK to cry. Please do not feel guilty.

Can you take a day off work? If not I am sure people will understand why you are feeling down. When you tell your son, just be honest, your dog got sick and passed away.

It may not seem like it now but the fact that you held him while it happened was a kind and loving thing to do, he passed being cuddled by someone he loved very much.

Flowers
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 12/11/2014 16:15

I'm so sorry, OP. Having a beloved pet put to sleep gets no easier. It's ok for your son to see that you're upset and it's ok for YOU to be upset. You've lost a member of your family today and they were important to you.

I know exactly how this feels, I'm so sorry. :(

Bluestocking · 12/11/2014 16:16

It's so sad when a darling pet reaches the end. But you gave your DDog a lovely life and at the end he didn't know what was happening, he will have felt as though he was going off to sleep in your loving arms.
How old is your DS? Even a very little child can sort of get their head round the idea that when an animal is very old, that their body starts to wear out and can't go on working properly. You can show him that it's fine to be sad and cry when a lovely pet dies, and it's normal to miss them but as time goes on you miss them less but always remember them with love.

LineRunner · 12/11/2014 16:19

You are allowed to be broken hearted and to feel grief and sadness, as a family unit. And you've been through a traumatic event yourself.

I'm really sorry. Flowers

Greyhound · 12/11/2014 16:23

So very sorry. I lost my own dog some months ago to a brain tumour and it was so sad. You did your best for your little pooch, don't feel guilty. There is very little to be done when a dog has kidney failure. RIP little dog.

Canshopwillshop · 12/11/2014 16:25

I'm so sorry about your lovely old dog. I went through this with our old girl a couple of months ago - she had a bone tumour. It is devastating and you certainly don't need to be told to pull yourself together. You must have looked after your dog really well for him to have reached such a good age and he was obviously loved a lot - take comfort in the fact that you have him such a lovely life. Big hugs.

Mammanat222 · 12/11/2014 16:25

God I can't even read the first post as I 'll be a blubbering mess.

Losing a pet is a horrendous thing to go through, the grief you suffer is very real and it's not "just a dog", it's a much loved member of the family.

Massive hugs

X

Canshopwillshop · 12/11/2014 16:25

Gave not have!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 12/11/2014 16:28

You have every right to feel sad, he wasnt just a pet, he was a part of your family. I have a hamster, I'll know I'll cry when he dies, silly to some, put we love the hamster.

OnlyLovers · 12/11/2014 16:29

I'm so sorry. I agree with everyone else, you don't need to pull yourself together. Of course you're grieving.

Your dog had a long and lovely life with you and your family. Please look after yourself and be kind to yourself about this, and cry as much as you need.

Original poster
Notmeagain1 · 12/11/2014 16:29

Thank all of you. Will stay out of work today and clear out all of his things and grieve for my little buddy. I will so miss him.

OP posts:
DiddlyBiddly · 12/11/2014 16:30

Oh my love, how terribly sad. If you can take the day off, do. It wouldn't be an over reaction at all. Sending you love x

OnlyLovers · 12/11/2014 16:45

Good for you to stay off work. You need it.

RoseyHope · 12/11/2014 16:53

I'm so sorry :( In a few weeks it will be one year since our 14.5yr old Dalmatian was PTS. Yours will have been so comforted to have you with him in his confusion and pain beforehand, and though it's hard to see/feel them in the moment they go I hope it will turn out to be a comfort to you in the future.

Sometimes I think we're mad, we who bring pets into our lives knowing they won't be with us as long as we want. But those 14 years you had with him are worth it, and I'm sure he had a wonderful life with you. Flowers

livelablove · 12/11/2014 16:54

It really is sad. Dogs such lovely creatures and they do get to be a big part of the family. Sending thoughts to you and your DS x

EasyToEatTiger · 12/11/2014 16:57

Losing a dog is awful. We lost one of ours just before last Christmas and I howled and howled and howled. I'm so sorry.

Thebodynowchillingsothere · 12/11/2014 17:00

Just hugs and Thanks

Your gave your lovely mate a fantastic life and a gentle caring last goodbye. Be proud of yourself.

Hope your ds is ok, hugs to you all Xx

BiancaYouMinx · 12/11/2014 17:10

Glad you're not going to work and taking time to be sad. Be kind to yourself. We lost a furry pal back in Feb and I still get teary when I think of her. Doggy lifespans suck Sad

Calloh · 12/11/2014 17:13

Not, we had to do this in September. The grief was monumental. It particularly knocked my husband for six as he had never had a pet before and had no idea of the sheer grief and horror of it, also I think I had expected it more than he had. Sometimes the fact of my dog's death still suddenly fills me with nausea and horror but it is easier now, I still miss him but I think more about him and his life now and less about the fact of his death and my missing of him - if that makes sense.

I felt slightly better once we had his ashes back. I also drunkenly wrote his obituary - not in a sad way but focussing on all the humour and wonderful ness of his life, I have stuck a copy in each of the children's books.

I hope you have an easy evening and are gentle with yourself.

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