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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Had to have family dog put to sleep, can't stop crying

42 replies

Notmeagain1 · 12/11/2014 15:59

So my beloved bichon became sickly over the weekend. He seemed better Monday and yesterday until last night. He couldn't drink water without being sick and was having a hard time breathing. I called emergency vet number and they said to bring him this morning at 730. I tolk him in and he was in kidney failure and there was nothing they could do. I held him as they put him to sleep.

I feel so guilty for not taking him to emergency vet over the weekend (even though vet told me today it would have been same result).

I cant stop crying and dont know how I can go to work (in the states so still morning here) or how to tell my ds when he gets home from school. Im so sad. Holding him while he took his last breath is killing me.

Someone tell me to get my act together, please.

OP posts:

Abra1d · 12/11/2014 17:15

We have been through this many times and it never gets easier. It's a tribute to the love you felt for this family member.

Empathy!

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 12/11/2014 17:18

Awwww Dogs, Cats or any animal becomes part of your family and it's awful whey they die.

Look after yourself

ithoughtofitfirst · 12/11/2014 18:11

I called in sick when we had our cat put to sleep. It was horrible i felt like i was dreaming for about a week because it just wouldn't sink in. You are allowed to be sad. Don't beat yourself up.

Angel1983 · 12/11/2014 18:15

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Take as much time as you need. Dogs can become a much loved part of the family and there is no shame in being upset that they are no longer with us.

TidyDancer · 12/11/2014 18:58

I'm so sorry for your loss. :( I've been there and it's awful.

Thinking of you. x

Original poster

Notmeagain1 · 13/11/2014 00:02

Thank all of you for your kind words. Its been a horrible day, but it will get better. I am just going to miss my little buddy so much. I lost my cat in August and have one older dog left and now worried she will go next.

Decided no more pets for a while (once last one passes on). I had these 3 together for so many years and to loose two so close together is heartbreaking. My 16yo son grew up with them and is taking it the hardest.

Again, thank you for the comforting words today.

OP posts:

Gennz · 13/11/2014 00:18

Not I felt so sad reading your post - it's terrible, the heartbreak we put ourselves through for our dogs. I look at my 5 year old border terrier and just will him to live forever, I can't imagine life without him. Things must be very tough right now - it sounds like your little buddy had a wonderful life with you and you were with him til the very end so I hope that's some small comfort to you.

(Oh I'm making myself cry now! I would blame the pregnancy hormones but tbh they have nothing to do with it!)

NotTheKitchenAgainPlease · 13/11/2014 00:25

So sorry notme

Tobyjugg · 13/11/2014 00:29

Only a truly heartless bastard doesn't cry when their dog dies.

Calloh · 13/11/2014 12:32

Has anyone read the 'letters of note' from when a musician had to stay at home with her dog, Janet?

It is so moving. If anyone is interested, and it is quite emotional, then here is the link www.lettersofnote.com/2012/11/she-is-my-best-friend.html?m=1

DearNot, I know you probably aren't feeling any better today but I hope you are all taking things easy.

yolofish · 13/11/2014 12:39

so sorry for your loss OP, I have had to have beloved cats PTS over the years and dreading the day when the time comes for our Lab. BUT, as an pet owner, what you did was the kindest thing for your beloved dog, and I have found that to be a great comfort - I hope it might be for you too.

SistersOfPercy · 13/11/2014 13:03

Decided no more pets for a while (once last one passes on).

Thats so familiar. I had 2 beautiful boys then lost one reasonably young to liver disease, I couldn't look at another scottie dog without dissolving into tears for about 12 months. The one that was left behind reached a healthy 14 and something similar happened to him as happened to you. His Kidneys had shut down and we lost him quite suddenly. I came home and sobbed my heart out for 2 days, swearing that was it, I couldn't have any more and I wasn't going through it again. This was almost 12 months ago to the day.

As I type Murphy is asleep on my feet. He came to us on Christmas Eve and whilst he could never replace my boy he certainly took the pain away. Coming home to an empty house, having no reason to walk in the rain. I just couldn't do it, DH and the kids were apparently taking bets on how long it would take me to cave in

Look after yourself OP. It does get easier and you get to a point where you can remember with smiles and not tears.

AllGoodBaby · 13/11/2014 13:05

Aw OP you poor love.

It's grief, and you've every right to let yourself feel it. Like a previous poster said, in time you'll remember and be happy you had him. Be kind to yourself

AesSedai · 13/11/2014 13:08

I am so sorry Not. It is now just on a year since we had to put our beloved dog to sleep, and I still well up thinking of him.

londonrach · 13/11/2014 13:10

Hugs. You allowed to cry as he was part of your family. Hugs xxxx

AlexD72 · 13/11/2014 13:11

It is hard to go through and you had your dog a long time. The fact that the vet said it wouldn't have changed the outcome means that you can let that guilt go.
Holding your dog as he was put to sleep will stay with you for a little while but try to move past that. You were there until the end it was a comfort and you would have felt awful if you couldn't have said a final goodbye. It's all about how you look at the situation. You had your dog for 14 years so therefore looked after him for that time and you were there at the end. You took him to the vet which was the right thing to do.
Dogs don't last forever and even though this is little comfort 14 years is a good age. It will take time to work through your grief but you have lost a part of your family so that's normal.
In time you will smile remembering the good times you had and it will be a bit easier to bear. It may not seen like it now but it was a good noble thing to be there with him.

Marylou62 · 13/11/2014 14:04

OP...my heart is breaking for you...said as I am looking at 7 year old springer and willing him to get to 14 and dreading it all at the same time...I wasn't a dog lover at all till we got our boy...be kind to yourself cry all you want, hug your oldest boy and grieve together...

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