To think there should be more done about paedophiles awaiting trial?

[SaucyJackOLantern]

Just found out from listening to local news that our next door neighbour (literally right next door) has been convicted of possessing 1000s of images of child abuse at the most severe level. Which was nice.

Thing is..... he was initially arrested last December, so for eleven months the police have known that there was a paedophile living here. It's a large block of flats with shared entry ways and communal gardens where children play out. He could've done something at any time- particularly as he would've expected he was going to prison anyway.

AIBU to think in situations like this the police should be giving out warnings? Obviously not to name people that are yet to be convicted of a crime, but just a heads up not to let kids out in communal areas unsupervised. Our front door is literally ten inches from his- and both are inside the block that's kept closed by security doors. My 9&8 year old girls have played in the stairwell plenty of times with me thinking they're safe.

I don't know why I'm posting this, and I'm sure I am being U really. But for fucks sake. Why are these people allowed to walk the streets in anonymity?

Remember all the hundreds of thousands of children who get abused because nobody bothers to tell their parents they're in contact with a known paedophile...........

I think it would be even worse if a warning was given to residents in a block saying there was a investigation ongoing but the identity wasn't revealed.

What an air of suspicion, fear and possible recriminations it would cause. Everyone would be looking at everyone and jumping to conclusions.

Just carry on with the precautions you have now. Nothing has changed apart from your knowledge. Any one of your neighbour could be a sex offender who hasn't been caught yet.

SaucyJack
If you had known, what would you have done differently?

Which behaviours, lessons for you and your children would have changed?

SaucyJackOLantern

When asked "Would you care about the completely innocent guy who gets put in hospital"

You said "A bit hedgehog. But not as much as I care about a paedophile not being allowed"

Speaking as a completely innocent guy I'd like to say if you don't like our "innocent until proven guilty" system I suggest you emigrate.

Not all paedophiles are the same. Those whose index offence is viewing images online are unlikely to grab a child off the streets and abuse them. These are very different in terms of criminology.

If anyone thought local children were at risk he wouldn't have been bailed.

The system may not be perfect, but there are processes in place designed to keep people safe.

His argument is that they are repressed at a crucial stage of their development. I don't know how true that is.

The person who abused my daughter wasn't repressed in any way. He wasn't abused as a child, exposed to anything inappropriate as a child, he suffered no trauma and had a healthy normal life. I know because he is the person I once called my brother. Yet he still harmed my daughter in the worst way imaginable.

It is a really difficult circumstances.

On the one hand, as a parent I would want to know if someone who was a risk to my daughters was living nearby.

But

I'm so sorry Pretty. My children's abuser is my step son. It is always the last person you would think of.

I hope with time, you can both heal. I know it's an immensely long journey for me, and I am just at the beginning.

Much love.

Ironically enough, I'm usually the one laughing at the paedo round every corner hysteria.

And, I am one of those people who believes that there are a lot of child abusers living all around us and act accordingly. Because there are. If you live in a normal town or city, there will be people living near you who look at images of child abuse or abuse children. This one is next door to you and, very unusually, has actually been convicted.

By both, I meant you and your daughter, obviously.

"SaucyJack
If you had known, what would you have done differently?"

I wouldn't have taken his fucking Amazon parcels in for him for starters.....

No, I can't honestly say what I would have done differently. Maybe made the kids wear a burqa and escorted them from car to door. Maybe nothing at all. Ignorance is probably bliss.

So what would you have gained from knowing?

Would it have made your kids "safer" ?

And if not, then what is the point of stressing about it?

the polices hands are tied anyway,ridiculous to expect them to go round telling people!!

they cant do right for doing wrong!!

I'll be charitable and assume you have toddlers or younger because there's a whole range of experiences have to learn how to navigate. It's not about skills to stay safe

Incorrect. Well not completely as I do have a toddler and a baby but I also have teenagers and adults. As well as an interesting career history that means I'm very aware of the risks to children.

It is basic stuff. Assuming that someone is ok just because nobody official has told you otherwise is less than ideal especially when it comes to random neighbours.

So do tell us what these skills needed to stay safe are?
Because otherwise you're suggesting that children who have been abused are either not adequately or have missed out on some 101 class in not being a victim.

Sheesh not adequately supervised.

Opies We're a year and a half on, it still feels as raw and as painful yesterday. I'm "lucky" in that my daughter is still very young, she's the chance to forget it even happened according to the councillor, though she's not really showing signs of forgetting yet. The nightmares are still present though her violent behaviour has passed, she started eating properly again only a few months ago, still terrified of men.

It's a long uphill battle, not one id wish on anyone. I hope that you and your dc are ok and find some peace. Time is a great healer though that's little consolation when it doesn't heal completely. But things will get better, I promise you

But surely if a crime someone is accused of is serious enough, there is the option of being put on remand? Perhaps this should be mandatory in these cases?

So do tell us what these skills needed to stay safe are?
Because otherwise you're suggesting that children who have been abused are either not adequately or have missed out on some 101 class in not being a victim

Are you being intentionally obtuse? You understand this thread is talking about a unrelated total stranger (to the parent and child), don't you?

Not someone who is known to them not someone who is related to them.

Lara it's not about seriousness of crime, it's about risk to the public, or risk to the individual.

I'm deliberately challenging your suggestion that children are either a) adequately supervised or b) equipped with the skills to not be abused. There's a massive grey area in between within which a lot of abuse occurs- a familiar neighbour awaiting trial for serious child abuse crimes is definitely within that grey area, hence this thread.

Where have you got the idea he's a total stranger from sockamnesty?

He's been living right next door to us for a good four or so years. We see him to say hello to in the stairwell all the time.

What more did you expect op??

Court lists are a matter of public record so from the first appearance at magistrates' court anyone could find out about the crimes people have been charged with.

The police can't go around to everyone's house who lives within close proximity of any criminal to warn them there may be a risk. They'd just basically send all their time doing that.

Just assume there's a risk in your neighbourhood, because I'm pretty sure there will be in every neighbourhood. For some context, I work in a town with a population of 60,000. I'd say someone appears in our magistrates' court about once a week for a sexual offence against a child.

So, you get told -pre trial that he is potentially a paedophile.

Just say 'hypothetically' that he gets completely exonerated with 'irrefutable evidence' and the Judge wonders why the case was brought in the first place.

Would you then let him mind your children? No, of course you wouldn't, neither would I, because shit sticks and there is a sentiment that there is no smoke without fire.

This is why people are innocent until proven guilty and this is why people lives are not destroyed by telling everyone around them until their crime has been proven.

The response where you said you would only be a bit bothered by an innocent person beaten up because they looked funny actually made me feel sick.