Leaving kids on their own?

[cheifbrody]

I know this has been done to death on here, but something that was said on morning tv yesterday made me think.

What was said is that every child is different and therefore the parent should judge the age when they are ready for it. So no legal age can be made.
That seems fair enough.

Then I thought but the legal age to have sex is 16. That is the law, but some may be ready and mature at 15yrs and some not ready or mature enough at 18yrs.

But even if you are not mature enough at 18yrs it is ok to do it.

So yes I think an age should be set, and then started to think ''what age though''.

Everybody accepts the 16 rule for sex because its LAW.

If we had an age limit for leaving kids at home that would just be it, some people would ignore it [as people do] but at least it would be clear.

I have started leaving my 10 year old for 30mins when I go out for a run. But we have cctv, a indoor sprinkler system, 12 foot gates which can only be opened with a fob. We are also out in the countryside.

My DS is very mature and always has been, generally when I'm out he's sat on the sofa in the landing reading, and he doesn't move when he's ingossed in a book.

I just liked the sciences and in particular explosions. However I have not gone on to be a criminal, in fact I got the highest mark ever on my A level chemistry.
I did start a thread on here a couple of weeks back about a neighbour complaining at me setting off a display firework in my garden, so perhaps I have not moved on that much.

That was a 4 year old diddl - 4 is too young - and the child was playing with the nrighbor kids in the garden, not really "gone" :o Don't lock them in! Kids should do fire drills at home and know where to runto if the alarm goes off!

In that article, there is a woman who leaves her 3 month old home alone for an hour?!

I think it really depends where you go. I don't leave my DC alone if i need to take a car. Not that much what can happen to them, but more like what could happen to me.

Dog somebody on MN always sayswhat if you were in a car crash? But would you rather they were in a car crash with you than safe at home? That argument seems a luttle perverse!

Sorry, 4yr old yes, although I thought that she was in the house with them?

It just shows how things can happen though, doesn't it?

the mum took longer than she thought...

I mean really, what's the thing about not taking a young kid in the rain?

Presumably she can get dry & change clothes when she gets home.

Sometimes it smacks more to me of a parent making it easier for themselves, rather than what's appropriate for the child, when young kids are left.

A deadly car crash is not very likely, but what is very likely is minor incidents which can delay you for indefinite time. E.g. Car decides to break down.

We really are a generation of worriers! I honestly don't think our parents ever had that many "what if" thoughts, they just got on with it and assumed all was well.

I think we instill not only fear and paranoia in our children if we don't let them take some responsibility for themselves, but also distrust. Children grow with responsibility and trust. They have to make mistakes to learn. Their development is not only from interactions with their parents and teachers. They need to learn from their own experiences.

Blimey, Tweed: seriously?
We don't have cctv or 12 foot gates or a sprinkler system and I have been leaving my DC home alone since they were, um, under 10. The exact age and circumstances depended on the child: DC3 was deeply sensible; DC1, not so much.

My view was that a) the risks were minimal b) they would be able to cope with most things anyway (short of an asteroid strike; home invasion by knife-wielding maniac so unlikely as to be irrelevant) and c) they needed to understand, in stages, that they could cope with gradually increasing independence.

This meant that when they started secondary school and had to use public transport on their own, it was absolutely no big deal at all.

Exactly Meh

I think we are safer without 12 foot gates personally - ordinary house in a little village, we know our neighbors, all kids go to same schools, rural farming community with people about all the time - kids know who they can go to in case of problems ( and of course it works both ways - other kids know to cometo me ... I am first port of call to wash sand out of eyes and wash andplaster scraped knees, because we are the closest house to the playground and kids of 5/6 + play out without parents hovering...

diddl sometimes it is easier for the parent - that's not a crime! As long as its been thought through and the child both knows what to do and is 100% comfortable with being left!

Dog of course children shouldn't be beimg left if there is no back up/ nobody they could call if parent doesn't return (though in broken down car scenario parent would call child at home then neighbor/ friend / relative / partner if child was going to be home alone too long or get worried

I would never let my son play out unsupervised at 5/6. I grew up in a rural farming community and got flashed at age 6, police took it really seriously but could not catch the guy.

Ah well, that's up to you... perhaps there should be a legal minimum agefor playing out too...

Kids who don't play out are surely more sedentary than those who do... A change for the worse surely... But also a separate, though related, topic.

I am always surprised at the age people let their children play out alone, 5/6 is far too young to be out alone and an adult should be watching. We live quite rural and it doesn't happen here. I don't think it's being a worrier but being sensible.

My dc dont play out. They didnt like being hit and kicked by other dc so stopped.

They are extremely fit and active though, competing at a very high level in their sports.

We have left our ten year old for up to half an hour on her own, longer with either of her brothers.

I'd say secondary school age. It ties in with walking to school etc. However, this would only be for short periods, i.e an hour! Would never leave longer than that until maybe 14/15.

Oh and I always take my phone and have written emergency contact numbers in a book. I also tell them not to open the door to anyone.

I was reading that article in the mail about people leaving kids at home and one woman used to leave her 3 month old baby in the pram in the garden for up to an hour whilst she went to the shops!!!!!!! It was 20 years ago but still!

It was an article in the Mail ... They looked for people who would tell emotive stories to allow their readersto enjoy feeling outrage - isn't that what the Mail is for?

I have only once heard of any child hitting and kicking here (and he is a very spoilt pub whose parents always hover over him and we're there to watch him and give him a cuddle after he did it ). I am generally within earshot and sight when the older kids play out as I have a 3 year old, I don't specifically watch the older ones most of the time but can hear them - they are nice kids and play - they don't beat each other up, that isn't the norm!

*pfb not pub, were not we're. .. auto correct.

When I reflect a bit and think back, I was allowed out alone on a horse when I was seven or eight...
I hadn't quite thought about it like that before - I'd just been taking him back to his stable the other side of town, where my father would meet me.

MrTumble, Germany sounds much more sane about children than the UK. I think here we are inclined to worry about 'what might go wrong' rather than think about how small the risks are and what benefits the child will get from independence, free play etc.

That's why I kicked all mine out a tender age to play as well.

When I reflect a bit and think back, I was allowed out alone on a horse when I was seven or eight...
I hadn't quite thought about it like that before - I'd just been taking him back to his stable the other side of town, where my father would meet me.

MrTumble, Germany sounds much more sane about children than the UK. I think here we are inclined to worry about 'what might go wrong' rather than think about how small the risks are and what benefits the child will get from independence, free play etc.

That's why I kicked all mine out a tender age to play as well.

It's a small risk but the stakes are massively high. I just don't understand why parents would risk it. Children go missing every day around the world. Why would you want your child to be in that small %?

Children are unpredictable why the hell would you trust a six year old home alone

i leave my 12 year old for about 5/6 hours when hes not at school as i have to work. mainly his older sister is home but shes as college 2 times a week. so if he's ill, teacher training or something hes on his own for them 2 days. I don't feel comfy with doing it. but not much choice as i cant take time of work.

Stale why would you let your child travel by car, walk along the pavement, ride a horse or a bike, or fly by plane, or go on a school trip, or eat an apple... Its a small risk, but the stakes are massively high... The answer of course is that in your personal opinion the benefit to the child vastly outweighs the risk. Only where that is the case is it appropriate.