To feel sad that DH has chosen to be away for PFB 1st birthday?

[Sommersprossen]

As the title says really.

He's going on a course. I don't think it's an essential one and there would be other opportunities to attend the same course in the new year but because it's important to him, he's going on the day our PFB turns one. I feel really sad that he's choosing to be away for PFB's first birthday, I also feel really sad that every time I ask him what he wants to do for the birthday (in the evening when he returns or the following weekend) he's non-committal or doesn't want to discuss it. People keep asking me what we're doing to celebrate the occasion and I feel embarrassed to tell them that I don't know as we haven't planned anything yet (it's fast approaching!)

Feeling sorry for me, I think, a friend has invited me and PFB out for the day and I'm sure we'll have a lovely time. I get the impression from DH that IABU to think we should make a fuss over our only, long awaited child on their first birthday. Am I? Do I need a grip?

I had this with dh. He was all 'oh it doesn't matter - he won't know'. A bit sullen. Sometimes gts more excited by a fish on TV

I promptly kicked him up the arse, told him to get into the spirit of it and we had cake, sandwiches etc but just had the grandparents and couple of local siblings. More than enough.

Dh really enjoyed it but I didn't make a thing of it, just told him when it was on, he's really quiet and fuss free but I asked him to shake that off now we have a baby as we enough happy memories.

No, YANBU. It's not just PFB's 1st birthday, it's the first anniversary of you having a much-longed for child that you feared you wouldn't have.

DH was also absent on DS2's first birthday, because he won a work award and had to be in Canada for nearly 2 weeks, but he, unlike your DH, was really pissed off at the timing. We sorted out what we would do so that we did something as a family for DS2's 1st birthday, even though DS2 had no idea it was happening, and we did that before DH went away so he knew exactly what was planned.

Your DH is being a bit of a prick, IMO.