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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think dp should not have offered to help

81 replies

Letthemtalk · 09/11/2014 10:38

Just mentioned to dp that we need to go to the supermarket at some point today. He says OK, but we have to pop into town to help x jump start her car. But we don't have jump leads? "We'll have to call in and buy some". I ask him if he knows how to jump start a car, " No, that's why you're coming ". But I don't know how to??? " yes you do ", no really dp I don't have a clue how to. So I ask dp why x has asked him? Because he's the only one she knows with a car????

Wibu to get him to call her back and tell her to call RAC?

OP posts:
Original poster
Letthemtalk · 09/11/2014 15:29

And if he wanted to shag her he'd hardly ask me and the kids along would he???

OP posts:
Hakluyt · 09/11/2014 15:30

So. She lives 10 minutes away. 10
minutes there, 5 to buy jump leads, 5 to start car. 10 minutes home. Half an hour in all. This is a problem exactly why?

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 09/11/2014 15:41

Is this still up in the air Let them ? Surely you've told her you're not coming, or you've been to help, by now. I agree your DH sounds innocent and well meaning but maybe naive - as she was safe at home and walking distance from a garage she was cheeky at the very least to ask a colleague who doesn't live particularly close by
to sort this out for her on a Sunday.

YellowYoYoYam · 09/11/2014 15:42

My DH is like this. Someone from our village who he knows from his hobby put a message on Facebook a couple of years ago asking if anyone had a shovel as his car was stuck in snow. DH immediately jumped in the car to give him our garden spade. When he returned, I asked what we would do about our car, as the shovel is all we had to get ours out (it was those storms that lasted months, we had to keep digging the car out). He replied, oh, I'll just go and buy a snow shovel in the village. Umm OK DH, could you not have volunteered the info re snow shovels in the village shop to your friend?? Grin He actually saw the friend in the village shop buying beer when he went in to buy us the snow shovel and he had to hide!

Two years later we still have the snow shovel and said friend still has our garden spade.

BlinkAndMiss · 09/11/2014 15:44

My DP is like this - too helpful for his own good! YANBU, it drives me mad. But, if that's his only bad side...

The only thing my DP is notoriously bad at is recognising that this helpful streak is quite alluring to other women. He just doesn't see it at all and it has created some awkward conversations in the past! It does sound like he's trying to be nice to a new person, even if she is playing the damsel in distress it will soon become apparent that he's not interested.

GoodboyBindleFeatherstone · 09/11/2014 15:51

I doubt he wants to get in to her knickers... but she might want him to! She might be testing the water, might not know you exist! It is a bit odd to call a colleague on a Sunday who's 10 miles away!

I certainly didn't mean to sound like your DH would do anything! In fact going and taking you and the kids would really give her the definitive answer!

GoodboyBindleFeatherstone · 09/11/2014 15:52

I think I overdid the !s there.

EarthDays · 09/11/2014 15:53

I don't think it's suspicious, he wouldn't be so open about it just too eager to help on a Sunday!

I just find it odd to ask someone or volunteer to help someone to jump start a car if they or you don't own jump leads or know how to jump start a car!?

Original poster
Letthemtalk · 09/11/2014 15:53

That's what I'm starting to think Hakluyt! She's ordered the battery boost thing from Argos, so obviously wasn't needing the car today anyway.

OP posts:
EarthDays · 09/11/2014 15:56

Wait what....if she didn't need the car today why did she want your DP go out of his way to jump start it?!

stayathomegardener · 09/11/2014 15:59

Top tip for remembering which lead to connect first

First Aid

  • As in the Red Cross. Connect the red positive + lead first
Original poster
Letthemtalk · 09/11/2014 16:03

I don't even know if she knows where we live. She's new to the area, doesn't know many people, doesn't know anyone else with a car, thought dp might be able to help. I dont blame her at all. I just think dp was being daft offering to help when he knows nothing about cars.

OP posts:
Hakluyt · 09/11/2014 16:07

I am constantly amazed by the sheer mean spiritedness of May mumsnetters. 30 minutes out of a whole Sunday to help someone out. I just can't see the issue.

Hakluyt · 09/11/2014 16:09

"Wait what....if she didn't need the car today why did she want your DP go out of his way to jump start it?!" Because it would be incredibly unreasonable to expect him to do it on a work day!

Thebodynowchillingsothere · 09/11/2014 16:10

That's why you join the AA or the RAC etc so you arnt a needy pain in the arse when your car won't start.

Can't imagine ever calling a work collegue to help on a weekend unless a dire emergency. It's just rude.

Mind you my dh works away so I am used to coping and when he's home he prioritises his family.

Your dh sounds nice op but that open hearted helping all would drive me nuts.

Original poster
Letthemtalk · 09/11/2014 16:11

It's not the 30 minutes I thought was unreasonable, it's dp agreeing to help with something he knows nothing about when there are other more sensible options.

OP posts:
fluffyraggies · 09/11/2014 16:18

So what has happened OP? It's been nearly 6 hours since the start of all this.

lemisscared · 09/11/2014 17:01

He may not want to shag her. She sure as hell wants a piece of him!! Tell him not to be so naive

Original poster
Letthemtalk · 09/11/2014 17:13

Lem, what are you basing that on? Her phoning him for help when there was none else to?? Since when does, my car won't start, can you help me jump start it mean I want to shag you??

As I said up thread, she's ordered a battery booster from Argos, so no longer needs dp's help.

OP posts:
Hakluyt · 09/11/2014 18:38

"It's not the 30 minutes I thought was unreasonable, it's dp agreeing to help with something he knows nothing about when there are other more sensible options."

Are ther any other options that take less than 30 minutes? I'm not actually factoring in the time it would take for someone to google "how to jump start a car" because it will be a unit of time too small to be measured.

I repeat. Depressingly mean spirited.

Original poster
Letthemtalk · 09/11/2014 18:46

Her ordering battery booster, 2 minutes, then using said booster (no idea how long) and actually sorting it? Given dp wouldn't have a clue what he was doing it would have taken a lot longer than 30 minutes and chances are both cars would have ended up buggered!

OP posts:
Hakluyt · 09/11/2014 18:58

You can't bugger a car jump starting it if you connect the right colour bits to the right terminals. Which google will show you how to do. And I do find it a bit disconcerting that a competent adult human being, when they realized they couldn't do this incredibly useful and simple thing, wouldn't rush to find out how

But hey, if you don't like helping other people.........

lemisscared · 09/11/2014 19:03

First excuse to call him and ask for help that she doesn't really need......call me cynical but fuck that.

Original poster
Letthemtalk · 09/11/2014 19:06

OK, so guess I fall somewhere between dropping everything to learn new skills to go and help someone (when there is a simpler solution) and immediately thinking that because someone wants help from dp they must want to shah him.

OP posts:
lemisscared · 09/11/2014 19:07

How is it mean spirited? The bloody woman was at home not stuck in the middle of nowhere. Sunday is family time not time to go off rescuing damsels not in distress.

Hopefully im being too cynical but only person with a car? Really??

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