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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think dp should not have offered to help

81 replies

Letthemtalk · 09/11/2014 10:38

Just mentioned to dp that we need to go to the supermarket at some point today. He says OK, but we have to pop into town to help x jump start her car. But we don't have jump leads? "We'll have to call in and buy some". I ask him if he knows how to jump start a car, " No, that's why you're coming ". But I don't know how to??? " yes you do ", no really dp I don't have a clue how to. So I ask dp why x has asked him? Because he's the only one she knows with a car????

Wibu to get him to call her back and tell her to call RAC?

OP posts:

EarthDays · 09/11/2014 11:11

Really strange!! Tell her to go to the garage?!

Fairenuff · 09/11/2014 11:16

He is the only person she knows with a car? Really?

ENormaSnob · 09/11/2014 11:17

How very odd that your dp doesnt find this weird as fuck.

emms1981 · 09/11/2014 11:19

Tell him if that's how he wants to spend a sunday he can carry on, give him a shopping list to pick up on the way home and you put your feet up. That's what I would do anyway :)

Salmotrutta · 09/11/2014 11:19

Does this woman have no other friends (or relatives) who live closer??

ImperialBlether · 09/11/2014 12:35

Oh no, I'd be shouting, "This is my bloody day off!" It's just ridiculous that he has to be the knight in shining armour, particularly when he doesn't actually know how to help.

FunkyBoldRibena · 09/11/2014 13:14

Is he fucking her too?

Gillian1980 · 09/11/2014 13:21

I feel that everyone who owns a car should have jump leads and know how to use them. It would certainly avoid such a situation as she could ask a neighbour or a passing car to help.

Saying that, if any of my colleagues asked me to do this then I would definitely oblige. They're all nice people and I wouldn't want them stuck.

But I would also consult with my DH in case it was going to impact on his/our plans.

KatieKaye · 09/11/2014 13:23

My ex connected the jumps leads the wrong way and blew the alternator.
Car had to put on back of transporter and cost a heck of a lot to fix.

This woman sounds very needy and taking a loan. Why has she phoned your DH when she could toddle 500 metres to the garage?

ilovesooty · 09/11/2014 13:24

Can't she call out the AA and join on the spot? It's irrespons ible to run a car and expect other people to get you out of trouble.

Castlemilk · 09/11/2014 13:27

How odd that the first person she'd text for help is a work colleague who lives miles away.

I think this would be the IDEAL opportunity to give a firm no, given that she would get quicker, better, closer help if she simply walked 500m down the road!!!

scarletforya · 09/11/2014 13:29

Yanbu

What the feck? She's playing the helpless damsel. Ridiculous to phone a work acquaintance who lives ten miles away for a jump start.

All she has to do is knock at a neighbor, call a family member etc

Every driver should have their own jump leads and know how to use them.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 09/11/2014 13:32

Very odd, I wouldnt ask a work colleague to jump my car unless my colleagues happen to be around, I have green flag or friend and family if I needed help.

Original poster

Letthemtalk · 09/11/2014 14:21

Not drip feeding, only just found out that she is very new to the area, and very few of dp's colleagues drive.

OP posts:

whitsernam · 09/11/2014 14:27

I have jump leads that "live" in my car boot. The box they came in has very clear directions how to use them, and I have used them to help others as well as get help for myself. I second the idea to buy some, help her and learn how to do it, then keep in the car.

UncrushedParsley · 09/11/2014 14:32

If the car is comparatively new, then I am told it won't bump start by pushing it.

maras2 · 09/11/2014 14:40

He's either screwing or wants to screw her.Foot down now.Just say no.Cheeky mare. < then scrutinise his phone and email logs. >

Chippednailvarnish · 09/11/2014 14:45

Massive red flag. You need to check his phone.

Sprink · 09/11/2014 14:47

Geez, so many if you are OTT suspicious! He wants OP to come along with him, hardly an indicator that he's fucking/wants to fuck the colleague.

There are plenty of men out there who would do this because they're decent, helpful people.

VitoCorleone · 09/11/2014 14:50

Its Sunday, the garage will be closed. I don't find it that weird that she's ask your DP, especially as he's asked you to go too, i do find it cheeky though

thenightsky · 09/11/2014 14:53

I blew the fuse in my stereo jump starting my small car from DH's large car. I was told afterwards I'd been lucky I hadn't killed the ECU, which would have cost me a fortune to replace, get coded to the car etc.

I like the sound of the battery pack from Argos. It sounds like a much safer option.

callmewhatever · 09/11/2014 14:54

Some of the comments seem to be a bit over the top, "red flag", "check phone/emails". Could op's dp maybe just be doing something nice?! Yes it is annoying for op and the work colleague could seek alternative help, but to imply that the two may be having an affair is quite a big thing. When I started dating my dw we got stranded at a pier at 3am because my car battery died. I had to phone a friend who lived 6 miles away across a bridge, he kindly got out of bed at that time of night to help me. Some people just do nice things for other people.

BuilderMammy · 09/11/2014 15:08

My DH would do this like a shot, and has done in the past, more than once; he's done similar for a neighbour who ran out of diesel on the motorway 20km away too.

It would never occur to me to think anything of it other than to be glad that I married someone nice who's willing to help people.

Thebodynowchillingsothere · 09/11/2014 15:18

God that would drive me nuts. Glad I married a bloke who understands that the weekends are family time and doesn't feel the need to be needed so much.

Original poster

Letthemtalk · 09/11/2014 15:28

This is so not a red flag issue and I am sad for those of you who think your partners would only want to help a woman in order to get into her knickers! Dp is like this with everyone, he'll happily drop everything to do jobs for people, it's the type of guy he is.

OP posts:

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