To insist on having SIL's address?

[LuckyLopez]

SIL has moved in with her fiancé recently and we've not been invited around or anything so although I have a rough idea of where it is, not exactly.

She's just asked dh if she can have our dc for a sleepover. They've been before (at a previous home) and had a wonderful time, very kind of her etc. etc.

She said she'll collect them from school on the Friday and drop them home Sunday lunchtime. Dh invited then for Sunday lunch, all great.

Whilst on the phone I wrote dh a msg telling him to get her address. He frowned and waved it away. After, he said why? SIL was doing the running around so what did I need it for. I don't need it but I want it. I'd like to know where my children are for two nights.

I have since text SIL and she's also asked why? 'Is it to send me a Christmas card? You can just leave it at mum's'. I've said I want it so I know where the dc will be and she's replied with a

I trust her implicitly. She great and generous and I have no doubts on her ability to care for them. They also aren't babies but AIBU to insist I have her address before they go?

I'm beginning to think they think I'm barking!

Riots, fires, earthquakes, medical emergencies... Who doesn't understand that?

It's not odd that she hasn't offered you the address - not everyone is very organised when they move house. But it is odd that when you asked directly she has texted you back without giving you the address! Surely she's wasted more letters typing back about the Xmas card thing than she would have done just giving you the address! Very odd indeed

Leave her Christmas card at her mother's .

Do you get on with her generally OP?

Have you done anything that would warrant such odd behaviour from her?

how odd that rather than just texting you the address she told you to leave Christmas cards at 'Mums' ... she sounds a peach!

We get on perfectly well. Not massively close in the socialising sense but family events we always get on fine. We've helped her though a difficult spilt with an ex which involved giving her money and a place to stay.

The card thing I think she was being genuinely helpful, mil lives in the next road to us and she visits quite often. I think that's why we haven't been invited to their house. She's over our way so often and comes to us.

Dh is not an idiot btw. He thought of the practicalities of the weekend and as soon as I said what about emergencies as such like my ability to sleep peacefully he is in 100% agreement.

twizzle don't be so damn rude!
Until I had children I did not understand maternal love, how fear of your child coming to harm is hard wired. I looked after plenty of friends/relatives kids but now I understand their need to know where they were and how they were.

Think it will be very telling how sil responds to your dh when he asks.
Has she looked after your dc before?

Imo, no address, no kids. She expects you to trust her with your kids but won't trust you with her address .... No wAy

I have the address!!!!

I called her and said I just wanted to chat about the sleepover and confirm details. 'Oh yeah you wanted my address, have you got a pen?!' Just like that. I was taken aback but said yes please 'you know, just in case '. All very pleasant and I asked if she needed bedding dropped off as they wouldn't be able to take it to school. 'Oh yes great idea!' She couldn't have been more reasonable.

She's fucking with me isn't she?!

I suspect she's shared your request with someone else who told her she was being silly.

Either that or she's read this thread!

Haha yes maybe. I don't think I've said anything horrible about her though have I?

No, we were the ones that implied she was being a freak for bit sharing it.

(Bit = not, this bloody Phone.)

Twizzle Glad you said it.

The SIL is being ridiculous but then, so is the OP's DH and he has children. Is he exempt from the 'won't understand until they have children' rule because he's male? Such a ridiculous and quite frankly, lazy, phrase to pull out.

Yanbu OP. She's being very weird. What on earth is the big secret about where she lives? I don't think I would let them go without knowing. That might be unreasonable but they're the ones making a big deal out of it.

(I don't have children btw. Shocker.)

Oops. Sorry, I see you have the address now. Glad it worked out.