To insist on having SIL's address?

[LuckyLopez]

SIL has moved in with her fiancé recently and we've not been invited around or anything so although I have a rough idea of where it is, not exactly.

She's just asked dh if she can have our dc for a sleepover. They've been before (at a previous home) and had a wonderful time, very kind of her etc. etc.

She said she'll collect them from school on the Friday and drop them home Sunday lunchtime. Dh invited then for Sunday lunch, all great.

Whilst on the phone I wrote dh a msg telling him to get her address. He frowned and waved it away. After, he said why? SIL was doing the running around so what did I need it for. I don't need it but I want it. I'd like to know where my children are for two nights.

I have since text SIL and she's also asked why? 'Is it to send me a Christmas card? You can just leave it at mum's'. I've said I want it so I know where the dc will be and she's replied with a

I trust her implicitly. She great and generous and I have no doubts on her ability to care for them. They also aren't babies but AIBU to insist I have her address before they go?

I'm beginning to think they think I'm barking!

For me, not a problem because I trust my siblings, even my one sil. They treat my children as one of their own so I don't worry. They also have good standards of cleanliness and healthy eating.

Why won't she just tell you?
She's turning it into a much bigger issue by not telling you.

I can't imagine not knowing where my siblings live, do you never visit mynewpassion?

V weird!

I'd want to know more about the new fiancé too if my DC were staying at his house.

What a strange family, why is it such a secret?

I would also want to know.. Glad DH gets it.. I would also now google earth address now. I wouldn't of bothered before.

YANBU. I insist on knowing exactly where DD's going on school trips (addresses of farms etc.), I'd insist on the address of any relative she was going to stay with as well. What if your DC were taken ill or had an accident?

She won't understand till she has kids of her own such a typical, insulting, cliched and moronic comment...as if those of you with kids suddenly grew a brain only after you did your breeding duty!

whether you have kids or not is irrelevant...it is basic common sense that if you are looking after somebody else's kids or sending your kids to stay somewhere that all adults involved have contact details -which includes address and phone number!

your sil just doesn't want you to have her address for some reason....so i would tell her straight that her attitude is very immature. That you will not be allowing your children to stay unless you know where they will be staying. your husband is an idiot for not seeing how ridiculous his sister is.

YADNBU. Am glad your DH see sense. I probably wouldn't let my DCs go not knowing where they were!

If she doesn't come through with an address I'd be making a call to school to make them aware that the children should not be released to anyone other than you or dh on Friday...

Do not let your children go until you've seen the place, never mind just getting the address!

I wouldn't let my child go. Glad your dh has seen sense.

I've never visited my brother and sil's apartment. Have been invited but they live 30 minutes out of my way. I know their general vicinity but not there exact address. I am still not worried. They are responsible people.

Just not a big deal and wouldn't bother me. I have both of their numbers and face time info.

Yanbu. What's the secret?

It's just so weird not to tell when asked. Whenever someone I know - friend family or whatever - has asked my address I've told them. I've never once quizzed them on why they would want to know. Perhaps they've just bought a nice new address book. Why would I keep it a secret? I've never suspected they want to camp outside with night vision goggles.

You won't go and visit your brother because he lives 30 minutes away from you mynewpassion?! Despite an invitation? I'd be pretty upset if I was him....

Op yanbu, no way would my kids be going unless she told me her address

Bizarre and unacceptable. Of course you need to know where your children would be for the weekend. I can't understand why your husband, the father of the children wouldn't also want to know.

I'd be suspicious about why the SIL isn't being forthcoming with her new address.

YANBU, I wouldn't let my kids stay with anyone whose address I didn't have nor anyone who tried to avoid giving me their address. This sounds so bizarre to me, do you have a theory as to why she's behaving like this OP?

YANBU. How well do you know her fiance?

How extremely bizarre. Very strange behaviour from sil. You are not BU at all.
Have you met the fiancé?

YANBU AT ALL. If my children were sleeping away, I'd want to know the address. Emergency reasons and all that.
Why would she refuse to give you the address?
Not a chance would they be staying if someone was cagey about where they were.

I think I'd be more alarmed at the evasiveness of refusing to tell you and making it into a massive deal. In fact, of would be enough for me to cancel the weekend sleepover altogether.

I probably wouldn't ask for the address as I'm a bit of a rubbish parent and wouldn't think to. But if I did remember to ask and they wouldn't tell me then my kids wouldn't be going because that is seriously weird and a bit creepy.