Parents smoking weed at a children's party

[CandODad]

So, I hire out a piece of party equipment to children's parties and since it's worth a considerable amount of money intend not to leave the place it's beong used at. I don't need to be with it so I tend to just sit in the van where I know I can see should it "need moving"

The window is open slightly so the van doesn't steam up. Am I the only one shocked by the fact there are at least eight parents at this party that seem to openly smoking weed out in the car park while a seven year olds birthday party goes on inside (one parent of which is the dad of the party child) and children are popping out now and again to talk to parents etc?

I don't condone that either, but my main experience of children's parties has been at soft play centres which were dope and alcohol free anyway. DD went to a couple of village hall parties, and again there was no alcohol/dope there. She was quite small then so most of the parents stayed and just chatted and drank tea.

It just doesn't happen in my circles.

Interestingly, DD (now 14) was talking to her friends at school and said that she had never seen either OH or me drunk. We do drink, we just don't drink to get drunk. Her friends thought it was very unusual because all of them had seen either one or both of their parents drunk at some point in their lives.

If the birthday parents offer round a drink say at home, I don't drink but don't care if others had one, as long as they are safe to drive. Heavy drinking absolutely out, just inappropriate around children in a hall- at least if you are at home you can put them to bed if anyone gets a bit lairy! If they turned up at a church hall for a birthday party and started to get cans out the back of their cars and drank in the car park (I don't think most church hall parties we have attended have tended to have alcohol, as they are kid free-for alls with bouncy castles etc) then I would consider that the same as above. It's skanky and unpleasant. I have attended one party like this and I worried a lot about leaving my dd with the people tbh.

I can't really get why people can't have children's parties without drinking or smoking weed though? In the daytime. It's different if it's say a late afternoon/evening party in someone's home, and you are present yourself. If you are dropping and running with people with poor judgement, doing illegal or unwise things, it doesn't inspire with confidence. I actually wouldn't leave my 7 year old if I pulled up at a party and found the hosts out the back with a joint.

Unless it's a genuine question, "What kind of people do this?" Is the very embodiment of pearl clutching

I don't think smoking (anything!) at a kids' party is normal, honestly can't remember ever seeing anyone smoke even a cigarette, but wouldn't get my knickers in a twist about someone having a crafty joint in a car park (unless they were intending to drive).

Choochi, that's very sad, but it doesn't mean everyone who has a beer at a child's party is an alcoholic. People are perfectly capable of misusing all sorts of things (alcohol, porn, gambling), whether illegal or not.

Bun, I have no issue with your comment at 11.31, though suspect social conditioning plays a large part. It's the people who are arguing that illegal=always wrong and legal=always right who mystify me. So if the BNP won the next election and started forcibly deporting those not considered British enough, they would obey and support this, and teach their children it was right

Unless it's a genuine question, "What kind of people do this?" Is the very embodiment of pearl clutching - it isn't the norm amongst my friends at all, so yes, I am asking the question, who is doing this and why would they think it was ok? If it was one parent smoking a joint in their own car with the windows open, it wouldn't raise eyebrows, but a cluster of people smoking joints, with their kids going out there with them puffing away would be odd round here.

ThereMustAndShallBeTea Sun 09-Nov-14 11:13:16
The fact they were in the car park doesn't necessarily suggest people were definitely going to drug drive! What a bizarre leap of logic.

Really? If a party's held in a place with a car park it is surely not a great leap of logic to think that some of the children will have been brought by car. 'At least eight parents' were in the car park smoking, by the OP's account. Were they really all going home on foot or being driven by a designated driver?

I've mixed views on this...

I don't smoke weed, I have experimented before but wasn't keen. I don't drink either as it does nothing for me.

Personally, I would feel inappropriate doing either at a kids party as I would rather be indoors watching all the fun.

However, the vast majority of people I know do smoke weed and would definitely go outside at such a party together. From having a toke on a joint there is no way that they would be stoned and incapable of driving or caring for their kids; they would have had a mild buzz for a few minutes tops.

I have no issue at all with people smoking weed in general. I don't think they are going to negatively impact on their kids by sneaking out for a quick smoke. I would be concerned if they were getting absolutely wasted, be it weed or alcohol.

I grew up in the 70s / 80s and this was a very regular thing then. My parents and almost all of their friends smoked in the garden at parties. It hasn't changed or increased at all where I'm from, it was always normal.

In some places it really is "the norm"! In case it is relevant, I'm from the south and would be described as middle class. Myself, my family and friends are largely professionals; not as a previous poster suggested "rough".

What? No The presence of a car park means it's easier for people to park if they've driven, it doesn't mean people are obliged to drive. There is a Tesco slap bang in the middle of the town where I live which has a large car park, but, unbelievably, some people still walk there.

Are you the friend of a friend of mine who thought that out of town restaurants (TGI Fridays etc) shouldn't serve booze at all because it "encouraged drink driving" because the only way to get there was by car, and obviously only one person fits in a car?

Personally I judge a couple of adults having a joint outside while kids play inside far less than the woman I see lighting up a (completely legal so therefore fine hmm) cigarette in a car containing a three year old and a very small baby with the windows up every week.
Where I live smoking pot is not illegal, but smoking a cigarette in a car with a child present is. Which is the right way around as far as I'm concerned.

Do we know 100% that this was actually "a children's party"? Is it possible that the parents of the birthday child invited the families in their social circle to an all-inclusive party? Kids and adults who don't smoke have their bit of the party inside, adults who do smoke have their bit of the party outside. This would have been the normal form of a party when I was a child - a kids only party would have been very unusual - and still is, come to think of it.

"Where I live smoking pot is not illegal, but smoking a cigarette in a car with a child present is."

Where is this?

"a kids only party would have been very unusual - and still is, come to think of it."

Really. It is the mainstay of childhood in the UK.

No, I'm a person who doesn't drive at all. We don't have a car. I walk or use public transport or get a cab. This made us pretty unusual when our children were small as my impression was that most children were driven everywhere beyond a 10 minute walk from home. This is why I doubt that most of those children were going to walk home from the party.

Re drinking and driving - huge efforts have been made by the government and police to crack down on this over many decades. It's now socially unacceptable (mostly). My point above is that no such effort has been made to push the message that drug driving is risky because the government is fixated on just trying to stop people using drugs. This is futile. People will always use some sort of drug or other. The focus should be on informing people what risks they are taking so they can make an informed choice. We should get the drug trade out of the hands of organised crime and get some tax benefit from it.

It's no worse than people chucking wine down their throats. People seem to drink alcohol at a lot of children's events. I judge that as much.

I'd be just as if they were drinking glasses of wine or smoking in the car park (although atleast those are legal).

I don't have a problem with people drinking at parties that include children as long as it isn't interfering with their care and nobody is drink driving.

However, hanging out in the car park at a children's party implies desperation. If you can't confine your use of intoxicating substances to appropriate circumstances and venues you really should quit.

I thought it was bad enough when I was at a first birthday party and lots of people were smoking cigarettes & drinking heavily. I think different behaviours are appropriate in different circumstances and a child's birthday party is about children, not the adults accompanying them.

I'd actually say that going out for a smoke at a children's party implies that they trust the other parents to supervise their children and the weather isn't poor some odd leaps happening in this thread.

"I think different behaviours are appropriate in different circumstances and a child's birthday party is about children, not the adults accompanying them."

This ^^

Some of these arguments are a bit bizarre - or am I the only poster who would be horrified if at a children's party people were:
"carrying out homosexual acts" - and I don't mean holding hands or light kissing
OR "performing an abortion"
Surely there is a time and place for everything.

I would remove my children from a party where: there was heavy drinking or people were smoking weed.

But I've never experienced this in years of Children's parties.

Where is this?
I live in the US. There are only (as of Tuesdays election) 4 states where recreational marijuana use is legal so it would be one of those.

I'm sure that kids only parties are fairly common around here as well, but not among the people I'm likely to go to a party with. My point was meant to be that there are other sorts of parties and so was suggesting it as a possibility.

Nope. There is no reason to hang out in a car park that isn't grim.

There could be no children at this party and it would still be grim.

Oh to someone up thread, I live in the South and have middle class friends. No weed at any parties I've been to, no alcohol unless: we we're all walking and it was a glass of champagne, or it was a mixed age party.

Sorry, I think my point was misunderstood.

I wasn't implying that all middle class people in the south smoke weed. Not by a long shot. My point was that it isn't restricted to "rough, JK types" as previously suggested.

There is, in my opinion, not a specific type for smoking weed. It is across all ages, classes etc.

Changes to the drug driving law

Drug drive law is changing to make it easier for the police to detect and prosecute drug drivers.

'A new offence of driving with certain controlled drugs above specified limits is due to come into force on 2 March 2015. These new rules will mean it will be an offence to be over the specified limits for each drug whilst driving, as it is with drink driving. The new offence will work alongside the existing offence of driving whilst impaired through drink or drugs. Drugs covered by the new rules include cannabis, cocaine, ecstasy and ketamine. The limits for illegal drugs will be extremely low – one smoke of cannabis will put you over the limit.'

Maybe worth considering, like?

Oh and i'm not a pearl clutching, Hitler's Germany (WTF?), Prissy poster either. Smoked very heavily in my younger days and then couldn't be arsed as it got stronger and i just...well, grew up i suppose.

I have no issue with them toking spliffs in a carpark (classy) but it might be an issue when they drive off in their cars next year.

I was the one who brought JK into it. I made the very point myself that all walks of life smoke weed. However, I stand by my point that not all walks of life who smoke weed would hang out in a car park outside a kids party doing so. That is what conjured the grimness. I'd feel the same if they were drinking out of cans of lager tbh. It's not really the legality or the mind altering element so much as the......grottiness.