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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I can't work out if I am or not.

60 replies

Bedsheets4knickers · 07/11/2014 21:48

Dh doesn't believe it's worth having a flu jab. I've booked kids in to have it in morn. I'm at a gym class . He's just said he won't take them. I'm mad . Should I be??

OP posts:
Janethegirl · 07/11/2014 22:28

I'm trying to get my dh to have a jab.
I'd cancel my class to get my dc the vaccine. My DH just would not consider it a priority .......cos he's chicken!!

PurpleSwift · 07/11/2014 22:28

He's right about there being different strains of flu so the vaccines changes every year to cover the most current/likely strains

Original poster
Bedsheets4knickers · 07/11/2014 22:30

He drives me nuts I have to remind him to wash his hands after coming home I the tube before to plays with the kids, he thinks I'm a nutter

OP posts:
Original poster
Bedsheets4knickers · 07/11/2014 22:31

Il cancel the class , it won't kill me but it'll leave me furious prob ruin the wkend

OP posts:
3boys40 · 07/11/2014 22:34

sounds like he can't be arsed to put himself out. ynbu

redcaryellowcar · 07/11/2014 22:37

I'm not sure if either of you are unreasonable but I have to say I subscribe to your husbands view that you can only vaccinate against some flu not all colds and flu, I don't have flu jabs anymore and I wouldn't be taking the dcs.

BoneyBackJefferson · 07/11/2014 22:50

DoJo
"But he is the children's parent, so should be prioritising what's best for them."

So why shouldn't the op?

ChippingInAutumnLover · 07/11/2014 22:51

No, it doesn't sound like he can't be arsed to put himself out, it sounds like he doesn't think they should have it, but isn't going to fight about it, he's just not going to take them.

If it ruins the weekend, that's down to YOU, not him.

ChippingInAutumnLover · 07/11/2014 22:52

HE doesn't think it is best for them.

AesSedai · 07/11/2014 23:18

If he had seen my brother when he caught Swine Flue, OP - perhaps he would change his mind.

Calloh · 07/11/2014 23:23

YANBU.

I am assuming this is the one bit of time you get to yourself?

If he is extremely anti the vaccination then you should discuss it and decide together though I think you are totally right

But it seems really uncooperative of him if he I just thinks it's ineffectual. You are partners and should work together and that includes allowing you to go to he gym.

Take aside the vaccination thing, if you replace it with a child's party or a trip to the dentist, and you had a prior engagement I very much doubt that most people would think you are unreasonable on expecting him to take the children himself.

DoJo · 07/11/2014 23:28

So why shouldn't the op?

If you mean by cancelling her class, then clearly she is as she intends to do so. It doesn't mean she can't be annoyed that the parent who had no other plans won't do it.

The post I was referring to suggesting that the OP was treating her husband like her PA by asking him to take their children to the doctors, which I think is an unusual take on how relationships and parenthood should work.

Original poster
Bedsheets4knickers · 07/11/2014 23:42

He would take them to dentist or our daughters physio or a haircut, he prob wouldn't take them to a bday party. That's another issue. Il go because if they don't get the nasal spray Sod's law they'll end up with full blown flu which will only cause more bad feeling.
Yes the gym is important to me I'm not a fitness freak but don't get to go much mon-fri.

OP posts:
hippo123 · 08/11/2014 00:14

I still don't get it. If he's against them having it why are you taking them without discussing it and coming yuk a joint agreement? Doesn't he have as much of a say on it as you do? Perhaps you could both visit your gp / Hv together to discuss it?
If he just can't be arsed to take them why are you giving up your valuable 'me time' just because he's an inconsiderate prick? Fuck that, tell him to man up and get on with it.

hippo123 · 08/11/2014 00:20

To not yuk!

caroldecker · 08/11/2014 00:33

In the last 30 years, i do not know anyone who has caught flu - wouldn't bother

WhatWouldJoanDo · 08/11/2014 00:56

I'm angry with you. I would take them to the appointment and then be sure to get some time off later- a different class, a coffee in a cafe with a magazine or a friend etc

AnnieLobeseder · 08/11/2014 01:01

YABU. I'm a virologist and I don't see the point in a flu jab unless you're particularly vulnerable. I'm with your DH. If it matters to you, you take them. If DH was insisting my DDs got it I'd let him go ahead, but I wouldn't put myself out to take them on his say-so.

AnnieLobeseder · 08/11/2014 01:02

He is BU about taking them to birthday parties though.

WhatWouldJoanDo · 08/11/2014 01:29

Sorry that was bad english. I mean I am angry alongside you.

FastWindow · 08/11/2014 02:17

Annie - as a virologist then. How does herd immunity work, if the herd doesn't have the jab?

Trying to work out whether to take my dc (4and1) for any sort of flu inoculation. Happy to hear pros and cons.

Digestive28 · 08/11/2014 02:23

A recent article in the bmj said evidence for the flu jab is poor if no underlying health condition, it costs lots to implement but in Nhs only saves 0.04 days of sick leave a year for staff...so have it but may not be that effective as Annie said x

Original poster
Bedsheets4knickers · 08/11/2014 08:21

He's woke up and decided to take them.

OP posts:
Anydrinkwilldo · 08/11/2014 08:23

He's right about the injections, they predict what they 'think' will cause the outbreak each year and develop a vaccine against that strain. However there have been many years it has been wrong. I personally won't be getting it for that reason.

Cornettoninja · 08/11/2014 09:37

Well it's a good thing for you're household harmony he's decided to take them.

But, with no underlying health issues mentioned he's entitled to his view and I think ywu to book them in for a time you couldn't take them yourself given your the one who thinks it's important and it isn't compulsory.

Earliest isn't only and I doubt there were no other slots for the rest of the week.