...to think that sex at 13 is NOT normal?

[WotchOotErAPolis]

Now that dear old Nanny State is considering distributing sex-ed material saying that sex at 13 is normal, AIBU to think that it's condoning illegal and unwise behaviour?

www.christianconcern.com/our-concerns/education/schools-being-told-sex-at-13-is-normal

Oh FFS.
It's Christian Concern - NOT known for their level-headed approach towards educating children and teenagers about how their bodies work.

The evidence is there that the better informed kids are the more likely they are to NOT have sex prematurely.
Providing 'sex education' does so very much NOT equal condoning young teenagers having sex - on the contrary.

Very true Pacific, but in this case the stuff they're moaning about isn't even about sex ed. It's a tool for teachers.

Yes, I now, teachers who have a responsibility of care, particularly towards vulnerable children. AND at times are called upon to teach sex ed.
I think the better they are equipped for both roles, the better IMO.

They used quote marks round same sex 'marriage' and same sex 'parenting'.

Says it all really, bigoted wankers.

More sex education = less teenage pregnancies, more informed kids, happier relationshios

It is normal, it's just not all that common.

*Perfectly normal in the middle ages.

I am fully aware this is not the point of the thread, but, for the geeks out there, no, it wasn't.*

Thank you Jeanne :) Margaret Beaufort, mother of Henry VII was married at 12 which was common enough but the marriage was consummated at that age and she gave birth to him at 12/13 I think. It was considered worthy of comment and was highly unusual.

I don't think 13 year olds having sex is common. neither do I think it "normal" whatever that is. I don't think any 13 year old has the emotional/physical capacity to enter into a healthy sexual relationship - even with a peer - it is just too young in my opinion.

I do, however, think that acting like it won't happen rather than shouldn't happen is stupid so teens of all ages should be equipped with information and means of protecting themselves. But I wouldn't discourage a 17 year old from being sexually active. I would definitely discourage a 13 year old and if it was my 13 year old I would take active steps to try to stop it happening.

I would definitely discourage a 13 year old and if it was my 13 year old I would take active steps to try to stop it happening.

Oh gawd, so would I.
I still think they need to know about sex and love and relationships and condoms and wet dreams and respect and tampons - 'tis all interconnected IMO and they more they know and know to ask the less likely they are to be coerced in to a situation they don't have the tools to say 'no' to.

Sorry, just don't agree that more sex education = less teenage pregnancies. I am in my 50's. there is more sex education now than when I was in my teens yet the rate of teenage pregnancy has gone up. I am not from some radical Christian front or anything like that. I just can see that the stats say that more sex ed has caused the rate to increase not decrease. I wish I had the answer to it. I feel for all these girls tricked by the media and boys/men into thinking sex is the answer. and so what if the age of consent was 12 100 years ago. we had workhouses then, they weren't right either.

I thought the teenage pregnancy rate in UK was lowest since 1969?

It is going down in US too.

mummymeister where are your stats from?

mummymeister

I think that teenage pregnancies are now far more visible, which is different from going up. IME, when 15-year-olds from naicish families are pregnant, families no longer send the girl off to visit "family in the country" or such.

This is a quote from an article published in February 2014.

The number of teenage pregnancies in England and Wales has continued to drop, latest figures show.

Office for National Statistics data show the under-18 conception rate is the lowest since 1969 at 27.9 conceptions per 1,000 women aged 15-17.

This is a drop of 10% on the previous year, but experts say it is not enough to bring the UK in line with other western European countries.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-26338540

Well it goes on doesn't it. You're never going to stop them so it's best that contraception and advice is readily available without judgement.
I'd allow my d.d to have her b.f stay over. Better under roof than in a park somewhere
I was still playing with dolls at 13 and still getting put to bed. Mind you that was in the olden days.

Nobody really knows what the teenage pregnancy rate used to be, in the days of the back-street abortionist.

Thank gods the days of private angelmakers have gone.

When I was 13 a girl in my form was crying on her friends' shoulders at morning registration and, just as the form teacher walked in, shouted 'he just wanted to get his dick wet!'. This was, if I remember correctly, her 19-year-old boyfriend. My friends and I were definitely not quite ready to contemplate that people our age were having sex, but that clearly doesn't mean others were the same.

Eight years later, my own sister had sex for the first time, I believe at a party - at the age of 13.

Weirdly, I had only had sex for the first time a year before that at most. So I don't think anyone can really predict who is having sex at what age based on their peers, or even their siblings (ie upbringing/home environment - though I will say her upbringing and home environment at a given age was very different to mine at the same age).

At age 15/16, one of the girls from the form group, or at least one of their friends, made a joke about anal sex in the direction of one of the other girls in my textiles class - a lovely girl, very quiet, thought she was very innocent - but she blushed like a tomato and acted like the jibe was well-placed. That was the second big sex-themed shock of high school for me.

I knew a girl who got pregnant at 13. And a lot of my peers were having sex at 14. I had done some stuff at 14, but didn't go all the way until I was 15. The first time, he used a condom. Then I went to the brooke and got the pill, just to be extra safe. I think birth control should be available to all who want it, if you tell a 13 year old they can't have it, they could end up having unprotected sex instead.

A lot of those girls at 14 had long term boyfriends, some for over a year, and just naturally progressed from kissing to... You know what. A lot thought about it carefully, got protection then gave in to passion.

One couple is now living together and expecting first child, x amount of years later

backonly there have been about three, four with this one, threads about 'being 13' with sexual undertones or, in this case, overtly referencing sex over the last few days. I suspect blue thinks it is trolling.

Well, piglet, they've not totally gone, and we still don't know. But yes.

First of all Brook is not advising 13 year olds to have sex.

Secondly - western countries with the best sex education unsurprisingly have lower rates of teenage pregnancy and underage sex. And this is because the children are informed and they are empowered to make better decisions.

The educators are trying to fight against the effects of the media portrayal of sex and sexuality.

I would much rather have my DCs be taught about it by me and the school than glean information from the internet.

I just wish this type of advice had been around when I was 13 [over 40 years ago], groomed and exploited into sex with a much older man.
The "just say no" sanctimonious crap didn't help then, and won't now either.

Whatsunshine, I personally feel that if we havery more sex education at a younger age, young women would have a greater sense of self respect and more self worth. It wouldn't be taboo too discuss their feelings and how to deal with situations they aren't mature enough to cope with.
I worked with sex workers for many years and the number that were groomed by pimps from a young age, many living in the care system, so no parental influences or individual guidance, is quite frankly scary as hell.
I firmly believe that we should be educating our children from a much younger age about sexualixy and what is and isn't healthy.
I'm aware many will disagree but that will not be changing my opinion because of my own expreliance in this area

Please excuse typos, impassioned typing on phone

Averylongtime ago....exactly.

If you read the traffic light system,9-13 year olds having sex is a 'red light' and definitely not accepted as normal. I guess for some,the fact that it is given a green light for 13-17 year olds is odd, given that the current law of the land states that

Under existing law it is illegal for a person of any age, including a person under the age of 16, to engage a young person under 16 in any form of sexual activity. This remains the case under the Sexual Offences Act 2003 and as with the interpretation of the current law, it is not intended that young people should be prosecuted or issued with a reprimand or final warning where the sexual activity was entirely mutually agreed and non-exploitative. The way in which the law will be interpreted applies equally to males and females, whatever their sexual orientation.

Although a prosecution would be unlikely with consenting minors I personally think it a shame that it is considered 'normal' for 13-17 year olds. I know Christians get accused of being anti-sex ed. I actually think that is very unfair.I am a Christian with a DD at secondary school.When I talk to Christian friends,the concern is not that our children will have sex education but it is the content and emphasis that concern us. I totally agree that kids need to know about the mechanics of sex,relationships and mutual respect, STD's,pornography, responsibilities/consequences etc, but it is attitudes reflected in documents such as the traffic light system that cause the concern. For 13-17 year olds,pornography and being sexually active are green light activities considered to be 'safe and healthy'. I disagree strongly with that and worry that if that is ,or becomes, the prevailing attitude in education then that is the message that comes across to the kids. I have looked at other similar threads on MN (although have totally failed to find any recent ones!?) and it seems that many secondary school kids are unaware that sex is technically illegal under 16, which means they are not being told that in sex ed. If that is true,why not? Or are the kids just not listening? I know it would not stop some kids but it might make them think a bit harder and wonder why it is considered to be an adult activity?

It is good that teenage pregnancies are down but probably due to morning after pill and contraception. Are there any studies of rates of sexual activity in teenagers and whether that is decreasing with more sex ed? I have seen studies that say that the more sex ed a girl gets the more likely she is to delay losing virginity but would be interested in other studies.

I don't know any parents of 13 -16 year olds who are worried about underage sex tbh and doubt that many are sexually active at this age.

I do tend to mix with parents who wouldn't allow this type of thing because they know where their dc are and don't allow or give opportunity for under age sex.