first time grandparents......and first time mum!

[ramona85]

Since I got pregnant ILs have really been getting on my nerves and I don't know how to stop it. I love them and I don't want to feel this way at such an important time in all our lives...
I think a lot of it is my fault, I am being over sensitive and it's causing issues with DH.

• when broke news of pregnancy to FIL adv we were waiting til 12 wk scan to tell anyone outside family in case of MC etc. Told me (just me, not DH, who sat meekly in corner as I got told off) that I was being ridiculous and he would be telling anyone he liked (which he did) MIL and BIL joined in, also telling me not to be silly and to let FIL enjoy 'his' moment. I CANNOT GET OVER THIS. I'm still fuming.

-ALL ILS think we will journey to hosp together and they will be there for entire labour. Have told them no, which they were pissed about they can come after when we've bonded as a family and I have recovered a bit. FIL said we can't keep him from coming and he will be there. -FIL keeps referring to baby as 'his grandson' and me as 'his boy's mum' tho we don't know sex. Really annoys me! -they are already talking about babysitting all day and overnight which is making me feel nervous, am only 3 mths pg! MIL wants baby x1 day per week. I should be grateful as that will help with childcare when i go back to work but I feel apprehensive about it.

Any tips of being the bigger person and not letting this stuff bother me? I know FIL is just excited and I have this feeling of resentment building in me that won't go away and DH can tell but he thinks they are being fine (hospital shiz aside, he knows that if any of them turn up before we say so my labouring ass will murder them)

Why do babies turn perfectly nice peope into assholes? I loved my FIL b4 this now everything he does pisses me off. If he's like this now, what will he be like when it's born? Or am I the asshole? I just don't know anymore.....ugh

Thebody wish I could claim my opinions are due to my huge intellectual insight into other people's problems, unfortunately I've got the Mil from hell bitter and I married her specal wittle soldier

My mil was bonkers when I had my first. I did succeed in keeping her at arm's length but it made me so stressed. I'll never really forgive her for it. Our relationship is quite stilted, several years later.

This for me too. If I could turn back time (Cher?) I would get DH onside early doors and I would be firm. Really bloody firm: let them sulk, let them whinge, let them play the guilt card. Smile and be gracious but don't do anything you feel uncomfortable with. You need at least a few days as a family. Babysitting? SURE - in a years time, thanks MIL.

chipped oh dear can just imagine.

Sometimes inlaws do get it so spectaculaly wrong it's simply unbelievable.

I not there yet but have told my kids we will always be there to help out but only of asked. My ds recently moved out to live with his gf and we wouldn't dresm of just popping round and absolutely certainly not if a baby was around.

Havnt these people got their own bloody lives to lead?

And we had a baby moon with our 4 th child. No one was welcome for a week.

Highly recommended.

My PILs were similar, although it was my MIL, not FIL, that oversteps boundaries. Prior to my falling pregnant, they seemed lovely. Since the birth, especially in the first few weeks/months, we had very little peace. I've since said to DH, we're not having any more DCs unless we can move away (currently live in the same town as PILs). I can't do it again, I was on edge constantly as they used to turn up unannounced & let themselves in, or track us down while we were in town & just pick DD up out of the pram, often waking her. It ruined any chance we had at establishing a routine of naps etc & I felt I had no privacy. DH told them several times that it wasn't on. We used to lock the door & ignore the phone (still do) if we need peace, they are totally oblivious. MIL is ill so I try to support her seeing DD but it's really hard sometimes.

*TheBody by the time we had our fourth none of the Grandparents bothered coming for a week.

They were battering down the door for the precious first grandchild though.

Reading this thread has possibly put my blood pressure up so I can't imagine what it's doing to yours OP

You cannot spend the next 6 months odd worrying abou them turning up to the hospital or listening to the over bearing comments & demands!

If I were you I would move to the other side of the country or get a restraining order asap! Lol but in all seriousness your DP needs to tell them to back off! You will never get those first few precious days back when baby arrives and you don't want to look back on them and feel angry that PIL ruined them for u