Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to think if you dont contribute to a colleagues leaving collection...

71 replies

Beansprout30 · 03/11/2014 20:12

...then you shouldn't sign the sorry you're leaving card?!

I've organised a collection for a colleague who is leaving, everyone has willingly contributed apart from one person who keeps forgetting. Ive reminded them twice as they said they were happy to give (but im not been pushing) and im not offering to put in for them and feel if they don't give it would be mean of me not to ask them to sign the card but on the other hand I think no, we all paid for the card and pressie why should it look like it came from 'all of us'?

OP posts:

ScarletFever · 03/11/2014 20:54

As a leaver i think you want as many signatures and comments as possible, otherwise you dont feel 'loved'

I would never put £5 in a leaving collex unless they were a close friend actually, no just never would

Simile · 03/11/2014 20:56

Every place I've worked in sent round a card to sign and an envelope to give donations. That way nobody knew how much (or how little) someone was contributing. I'd not be happy if I was told I had to put a fiver in.

Let this one go and handle it differently next time.

JanineStHubbins · 03/11/2014 21:00

What's the usual sum then, if a fiver is considered a lot?

Original poster

Beansprout30 · 03/11/2014 21:00

Thanks for the replies. I haven't told anyone they have to put a fiver, we are a small group and the general consensus was to put £5.

OP posts:

FixItUpChappie · 03/11/2014 21:08

the consensus was a fiver - but who wants be the one to admit they can't or don't want to participate? An anonymous envelope is the way to go. Bothering to care who signs the card is just petty

Jill2015 · 03/11/2014 21:11

Anywhere I've worked, it's been a case of passing around the card, with an envelope for contributions, so people gave as much or as little as they wanted to.

I was once told to contribute twenty quid to a collection for a guy getting married. I had zero to do with him, and certainly wouldn't have been planning to buy him a wedding present. He was on a different team, and I wouldn't even have known he was getting married, until the demand came. I ignored it. Irrelevant to the thread, I know

OP, I'd let the person sign it, tbh.

Original poster

Beansprout30 · 03/11/2014 21:19

Righto it seems ive gone about it the wrong way then, neverrmind perhaps easier to do your own thing in situations like this

OP posts:

DaisyFlowerChain · 03/11/2014 21:19

Wherever I've worked until now you put in what you like and sign the card. If you don't contribute then you don't sign the card as its paid for out of the collection.

New place is smaller so it's usually a set amount. The set amount doesn't bother me as it's actually cheaper as occasions are few and far between compared to larger work places.

YourMaNoBraBackOfMyCar · 03/11/2014 21:32

I get on well with all my colleagues but could never afford to put £5 in a collection. Also I'd never expect that much to be collected if it were me leaving. What's wrong with buying a tasty cake, some bubbly and some flowers? Does everyone get posh pressies off a group of people they probably won't see again?

TeamScotland · 03/11/2014 21:38

My last workplace had a policy of not doing collections but a token gift being bought by management, if appropriate. Everyone, who wanted to, could sign the card.

I've mentioned before on here about the collection for a colleague I couldn't stand who left. She'd deliberately made working life bad for me. I signed her card with a happy face and took enough money out of the collection envelope to buy myself a Freddo bar from the work's canteen.

Original poster

Beansprout30 · 03/11/2014 21:39

As we are such a small team, we certainly wont be able to afford a posh pressie, that's kind of why we agreed for that amount otherwise we wouldn't be able to buy much at all

OP posts:

HattsA · 03/11/2014 21:44

Not everyone can afford to chip on every time although I appreciate it must be annoying if it's the same person every time not even giving a small amount...

I have to say I stopped contributing as I was I in a job a long time and within a year about 10 or more people had left and I just couldn't afford it.

Card should be separate and just feel internally annoyed!

ApocalypseThen · 03/11/2014 21:47

I can't believe you've asked someone for money twice. If they want to give you money, they know where to find you. Asking again would be bordering on harassment.

helenenemo · 03/11/2014 21:50

I've generally found if people don't put into collections, they don't actually like the person but sign the card out of a sense of duty.

If they don't sign the card then the only person that would be upset is the receivee

ScreamEggsAndHam · 03/11/2014 21:54

The card should be nothing to do with the present. Have a collection for a present by all means, and those who want to (or can) contribute, will.
To not allow someone to sign the card because they genuinely might not to be able to afford to donate that week is horrible.

fredfredgeorgejnr · 03/11/2014 21:55

Signing and collection should be completely different, amount should also be private and entirely optional, any guilting or pushing of amounts is just rude and wrong.

YABU

Original poster

Beansprout30 · 03/11/2014 21:55

Apocalypse, I mentioned I was getting the gift at the weekend, I didn't ask, If he did forget then I wanted him to have the opportunity to give if he wanted to, I hate asking people for money

OP posts:

YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually · 03/11/2014 22:10

Add message | Report | Message poster TeamScotland Mon 03-Nov-14 21:38:49

TeamScotland you took money out of a collection?! I don't know whether I feel horrified, (that was other peoples money) or admire your front?!

sanfairyanne · 03/11/2014 22:10

what horrible workplaces dont let people sign a card unless they pay towards a present?

two separate things

card should be signed by as many people as possible to make the person leaving feel they are well-liked

YesIDidMeanToBeSoRudeActually · 03/11/2014 22:11

Passing round the card for signatures and anonymous donations is the best way I feel.

helenenemo · 03/11/2014 22:21

Team Scotland I was once made to go No spend the collection money I despised. The manager knew and the feeling was mutual. I had a lovely bottle of wine!

Me624 · 03/11/2014 22:42

My workplace is also a big card in an envelope which you put however much you want to contribute into. We also get a lot of collections for leavers, weddings and babies so a set amount wouldn't work. What I contribute almost entirely depends on what I have in my purse (I don't carry a lot of cash) but as a general rule it's £2-3 for someone I like but am not really close to, £5ish for someone closer. If it's someone I don't really know I still sign the card with best wishes but don't contribute. I think that's fine.

PurpleSwift · 03/11/2014 22:54

Yabu.
Just because chooses not to contribute money, for reason that are none of your business, does not mean they should not be able to express that they're sorry someone is leaving.
Surely the only person to lose out would be the person receiving the card?

hollie84 · 03/11/2014 22:58

What's the actual harm if one person doesn't contribute?

The person leaving still gets a nice card from all their colleagues and a nice gift.

Is the problem that you'll feel that a little slice of your glory is being stolen?

Original poster

Beansprout30 · 03/11/2014 22:59

That's fine, if they don't want to contribute that's up to them but he said he wanted to so ive held off getting the gift but if I had gone ahead and got it without checking he would have said why didn't I remind him@

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3