to think if you dont contribute to a colleagues leaving collection...

[Beansprout30]

...then you shouldn't sign the sorry you're leaving card?!

I've organised a collection for a colleague who is leaving, everyone has willingly contributed apart from one person who keeps forgetting. Ive reminded them twice as they said they were happy to give (but im not been pushing) and im not offering to put in for them and feel if they don't give it would be mean of me not to ask them to sign the card but on the other hand I think no, we all paid for the card and pressie why should it look like it came from 'all of us'?

[Beansprout30]

Erm. No Hollie

[jellybeans]

Some of the Mums in DS's class arranged a collection when leaving reception and they asked for 10 quid which was a lot for many. In addition one or two mums decided what to spend on, no-one else got a say. It must be really embarrassing to attempt to give less than the 'suggested' amount. Only just over half the parents contributed and only those parent's children were invited to sign the card. The teacher got a card with photos of these children on and not the other kids in the class. DS chose his teacher a present and made her his own card.

[avocadotoast]

At my work we sometimes get collections round for the whole department, for someone you hardly know, and I hate it when the card and collection come separately! I'll always wish people well and sign the card and tick my name off, but bugger if I'm going to contribute to a collection for someone I've only ever said two words to.

Tbh I think that's nicer than just chucking in coppers, which I'd never do. On the flip side I'm quite generous with people I know well, I just can't afford to give for everyone.

[Charlene1]

Ha, I was in a situation where I was expected to put £10 - £20 into a collection - said I could afford £5 no more - I was told "no that's not fair on everyone else who put more in", so I wasn't "allowed" to put anything toward it or sign the card! A week later the same person sent an email round the rest of the office and included me in it, telling me it was "so everyone else can put £1 etc in, but I could then put my £5 into that envelope and sign the separate card". It was made very obvious that I hadn't put in for the expensive gift, but the "cheap" one when the person received it - so it made it look like I didn't "like" the person enough to donate more (not true!), not that I couldn't afford it, and the person who had engineered this gloated in making me feel excluded.

Same situation a few months later - collection was suggested, another colleague suggested we put £20 in each for it - the person who had deliberately left me out before was horrified and berated them saying some people can't afford it. So we all put in £5.

I hate collections - £1 per person is enough I think and the person who buys the card should reclaim the cost from any money collected, as it's rare you will get nothing - but everyone should be allowed to sign it, as it's not fair to exclude people who are genuinely skint, but if they hadn't put in on purpose, then just think "karma" will come back on them when no one contributes to theirs one day!
I've put £1 in an envelope for something today, anonymously and signed a card - much better!

[sykadelic]

I've always been curious about the people who organise collections and the etiquette on them... do you put in extra if the gift is a little more than you collected? Do you return the "left over", divided up by the people who gave money??

[Foxbiscuitselection]

Only people who contribute sign the card. Only fair way to do it I think

[Foxbiscuitselection]

I've rarely join in leaving collections as I quite like to do my own card and gift

[HappyYoni]

No the fair way to do is everyone puts in as much or as little as they can and all sign the card.

[peasandlove]

I think that's hilarious teamscotland, taking money to buy a freddo.
Anyway, all collections I've been part of had been a card go round and put money in the envelope
There have been times I had no cash so put nothing in but signed the card anyway

[googoodolly]

Very unfair to essentially make people pay to sign a card. Not everyone can afford to put into these collections and I don't think they should be expected to either!

We had five managers leave recently due to cutbacks, I signed all the cards but no way was I shelling out £5 per person for a present. So far as I know, the presents came out of a work fund, because nobody offered money or came around with a collection.

[musicalendorphins2]

What sort of present does one buy for someone leaving a job?

[PetulaGordino]

We have the system where you circulate the card with an envelope so donations are anonymous. I think it's the best way

I'm leaving my current job on Friday and I don't give a shit about a present. Or rather, it will be nice to be given something but it's not necessary. But the card signed by all my lovely colleagues will be treasured, and I would hate to miss out on a signature from someone because they couldn't afford to add the te collection or they didn't have any change or whatever

[musicalendorphins2]

Silly question I suppose, but I have no experience in this situation and wondered?

[musicalendorphins2]

Oops, never answered the OP. I would urge everyone to sign the card, regardless of who paid for what. The important thing is for the person leaving to have a positive experience.

[PetulaGordino]

Speaking for myself musical a nice bottle of wine would be lovely!

I've usually found that there is someone quite close to the leaver who knows what they might enjoy. In my office we try and avoid vouchers because it puts a value on the gift that might be compared to other collections iyswim, except for in the case of women leaving to have babies for some reason!

It is more difficult if you don't know them well. So I guess then things become a bit more generic with a bottle of alcohol, nice chocolates etc

[musicalendorphins2]

I just realized, I did receive a gift for leaving a volunteering position. I feel a bit mortified that I forgot, I guess because it was a non paying job. Also, a family I did childcare for gave me a present when I quit...of a tree. (it died)
Sorry for so many posts, I will control the urge to add anything else I forgot.

[musicalendorphins2]

Wine is much better than a tree Petula.

[PetulaGordino]

A tree?! Did they know you wanted one? (I would actually like that as we're doing the garden, but still it would need to be the right one and that's an odd present if someone hasn't specifically asked for it!)

At my mum's work they bought a dog for someone who was leaving and had worked there for 30 years. Actually what happened was that one of her colleagues was a close friend, and had spoken to her husband and he had said that when she retired they were going to get a dog, so when the suggestion was made that the costs associated with getting the dog were her leaving present he thought that was a really good idea and it was a nice surprise for her. It wasn't just a surprise puppy wrapped up in a box!

[Flangeshrub]

YANBU I've worked in lots of places and the card is the 'tag' to the present IYSWIM. Nobody would sign the card if they haven't donated. Most places I've worked the gift is a voucher/gift card so it is IN the card anyhow.

[musicalendorphins2]

It was a pine tree about 2 feet tall, and no, I didn't want one. I had already cut one down as it was getting too large for my small yard. I think the daycare kids thought of it because they used to help me water my plants, and I had bought roses with garden centre vouchers from my own kids and mil. I told them whenever I saw the roses I thought of XYZ.
Now it was a nice Japanese Maple, or another rose, now that I would have liked.

[musicalendorphins2]

*if