To think it's sexist to complain about women taking maternity leave?

[novemberblue]

Name changed.

I'm a teacher. Quite a few women have gone off on maternity leave.

I'm shocked by the responses colleagues make! They regularly complain and say things like, she's only just had one, wish I got paid to be off for a year and one woman has four children and they say she's out more than she's in.

Aibu to think it's sexist and out of order?

This is why I'm nervous about telling my work/colleagues about my third pregnancy.

I've only had 2 x 6 months off, with a couple of years in between. Still feels like I'm being greedy somehow!

I know there will be eye rolling and whiny gossip too. :(

If maternity leave impacts other employees, that's because of terrible management

That is such a simplistic statement. Of course it impacts on other employees. If it doesn't you're over-staffed. Hiring temporary maternity cover is not in most cases a viable option. It might be if the job is entirely mechanical like shelf-stacking which could be done by anyone. At the other extreme my field is very specialised and is a sector where demand exceeds supply. The work of someone on maternity or paternity pay has to be redistributed. We'd never be able to hire temporary cover as anyone who had the right attributes will already be in a full time post. We could recruit on a permanent basis but no one would come on a short term contract.

We deal with it; we have to but don't kid yourself it has no impact.

You should hear what some of the parents say at our school about teachers taking maternity leave-the mind truly boggles. I thought I'd gone back in time to the 1950's at times. A good school should be able to arrange a teacher to cover maternity. You would not get a supply teacher in. They are intended for short term emergency cover. What's the alternative to women having maternity leave? I do agree that there should be consideration, but you cannot always plan how long it takes to get pregnant.

Whilst some women take full advantage it gives the rest a bad name. How many start a job knowing they are pregnant and will leave the employer in the lurch after being trained up. How many work for a few months then take 2/3/4 maternity leaves back to back then leave. Where colleagues have to pick up the slack or keep retraining temps etc it's bound to rankle.

Where do you think employers are supposed to get cover for specialised, highly qualified staff for temporary contracts?

In my last role I worked with somebody who was promoted to a management position and very shortly afterwards announced a pregnancy and took the maximum leave. She was pregnant when she came back from that so went off again soon after, again for a full year. On returning from maternity leave 2 she was back for about 5-6 months before announcing number 3 and was pregnant with number 4 when she returned after that. In fact, for almost all of the time I worked there, she was off. I think it would be foolish to think any company could take that without there being a negative impact (although she was fairly shit anyway imo)

I have to say, even as a supporter of maternity leave policies, I resented it

Of course it's sexist and utterly out of order.

When I hear someone make a snippy comment about a woman's mat leave(s), I want to ask them whether they want a 19th century all-male workplace, or a world where no one ever reproduced and the human race died out. I need a snappier challenge, though...

Well put by ZeeZeek, Fairylights, and Phaedra

Very simplistic to think all jobs can be covered by a plethera of people all queuing up to be selected to cover a 9 month or 12 month contract.

Even with four pregnancies, what's four years out of a forty year career? Granted, maybe not all working for the same employer but it's such a short amount of time out of a total working life.

Agree with souserdelic. That severely impacts on the company and colleagues and potentially gives working women a bad name.

Even if working women and men have a right to a family life, they should consider how their absences impact on the employer. I speak as both an employee and as a manager.

Tough one.

My employer in large part contributed to my stillbirth.

I've not been back since and am on my third maternity leave. I feel no guilt whatsoever and would do a fourth if another baby was right for my family.

Slithy so sorry

A lot of it is down to attitude imo. My employer was pissed off both times I went on mat leave (kids 3 years apart) as there's no budget for maternity cover. This means my line manager and the other two managers (yup, three managers in a team of four) have to pick up the slack for a year.

I would have felt guilty about the extra workload if it wasn't for their cold, harsh attitudes towards me and my desire for a family.

It can have a big impact a lot of people. We have someone on our staff who has only taught for about four months over the last five years. She has the right to keep the position, which means we can't hire a permanent replacement, so their are higher costs involved, plus no security of placement for the supply teacher, who will leave if they get another role, it's hard because there are so many good teachers out there who would give their right arm for a permanent job, and the students don't get that continuity. I will say that there is absolutely no respect for her within our workplace, especially as she demands that she be allowed to come to any functions or events, even though she is on leave, and her choices will impact her future career in a way that would not have occurred had she chosen to resign whilst having her large family and reapplied for positions when she chose to go back to work.

And this is why some companies don't employee women of child bearing age.

YANBU, it is sexist. Women are the ones who have to have babies, and there is a relatively small window in life to do it.

Employers don't tend to make business decisions while thinking about individual employees, and companies can restructure, relocate or make you redundant without any thought of the impact on your family life, so why should you make decisions about your family on what may be an inconvenience to the company?

Yanbu, OP.

A few women have consecutive maternity leaves.

A few men swear blind at interview that they see themselves in the job for at least five years, then take the training, the pay rise and the jump up on their CV to negotiate an even better job elsewhere and leave after two.

Do the second group give working men a bad name?

I see that someone having babies close to each other could be seen like this. And yes could be annoying for colleagues but how often does it happen?

In my job if I fall pregnant and want to take may leave I get up to 6 months off fully paid for baby no 1, then if I decide to have no 2, 3 months fully paid, with up to a further 3 months unpaid, and if I wanted baby no 3 I'd get the statutory 2 weeks fully paid. Any other time off would be unpaid.

A colleague has complained recently because she's found out she's pregnant with no 2. And wants her full 6m off. We've pointed out that she can have it. It just won't be fully paid like last time. She's not happy.

Another has complained that because she's made a choice not to have kids she will never get to benefit from may leave and has asked for the time off. It's been denied. She thinks this is unfair.

Don't know if it makes a difference but I only ever got smp so no initial cost to my employers, plus since I didn't go back between pregnancies, there was less disruption to my team as they kept the same cover manager (transferred from another part of the business, not hired temporarily).

Going back in a year will be interesting though. I've been off since spring 2012. Scary.

Yonic screwdriver: "A few men swear blind at interview that they see themselves in the job for at least five years, then take the training, the pay rise and the jump up on their CV to negotiate an even better job elsewhere and leave after two.

Do the second group give working men a bad name?"

Yes they do. Working women do this as well. Both men and women who do this give working people a bad name.

No they don't blue. The men who do that give themselves a bad name. They don't give "all men" a bad name.

I am about to go off on maternity leave again (well in a few months)

So I have had 14.5 months off, a year back then at least another 12 months off.

I can see why this pisses people off, BUT anyone that calls it a "holiday" gets fixed with the glare. Its mainly women as well...

Only receiving SMP, looking after a baby and a toddler isn't a holiday - it's going to be bloody hard work but I accept its my choice and not something forced upon me.