To be pissed off about this?

[FiveStars]

I've found out that DP has organised a piss up with his mates the night before my birthday. I am actually really pissed about this as I don't fancy spending my birthday with a hungover lump. We usually make a big deal of birthdays and he is usually very considerate so it's shocked me.

I originally suggested a group party (all the couples basically) for the same date but no one was bothered, now that it's men only they're all jumping at it.
So aibu to be pissed off that he plans on being hugely hungover on my birthday?!

Yadnbu, I would be furious!

Why does he have to have a hangover, can he not curtail his drinking a bit on his night out so that you two can still enjoy your day together?

Maybe it's a babysitting/cost issue.

And guess who gets to babysit.

You are not being unreasonable to feel somewhat neglected (unless you said "ooh no it's okay!").

I'm not meant to know about it yet so haven't said anything. I wanted to go out together seeing as no one wanted a group thing.

I would be very surprised if he didn't come back pissed as a fart. It's the annual lets get wrecked before we're forced to spend long amounts of time with our families get together. Plus I'm not going to lie, I'd be really jealous that he's swanning off to have fun while I'm stuck at home.

He has taken the week off around my birthday, so as not to drip feed. I'm still pissed though.

Just found out he's planning on spending the entire day out on the day before! He's playing with fire!!

I would be plenty peeved with that. If I wasn't meant to know, I would be saying 'Oh as its my birthday I am thinking afternoon tea the day before and a lovely evening together..then I expect breakfast in bed and antiquing on my birthday...won't that be lovely'

Sheesh! Do grown ups really make such a big deal of their birthdays that it requires a three day celebration??

How is it an annual thing if he has been considerate in the past? Surely you have this same problem every year don't you? What did he do last year? And the one before that?

Celebrate your birthday the next weekend. Take yourself off for your actual birthday for a bit of pampering?

Yes, I do! Not 3 days but I expect 1 day of being spoilt with a lie in, maybe breakfast in bed, generally being spoilt and made to feel special. I do the same for him.

I like your plan Queen, I may adopt it!

I don't understand why you would be pissed off about this, he hasn't planned anything on your birthday.

I would tell him you have booked a day out with your Best mate/sister and won't be back til 10pm.
YANBU

They usually get together earlier in the month.

I'm either going to plan a night out that night or plan to be somewhere else on the day.
The weekend after we're meeting up with his friends.

He's plann to be hungover on my birthday must.

I'm aware I sound like a spoilt brat with this. I don't mean to, it's just we usually make a big deal of each other's birthdays and I would never plan this for his.

Do you have children OP?

If u have kids, tell him you will be up and out shopping / spa / other by 8.30am on your b'day morning...and fill them with sweeties just before he gets up to take the reins.

Yes 1 baby and 1 high maintenance 4 year old.

Baby is EBF so can't really leave him but I'm more than happy to bugger off with him and leave him with the older one for the day.

Yes you do sound like a spoilt brat! I like to make a fuss for birthdays, but only the day itself!!

FWIW I'm going out on an all day / night session with my mates the day before DH's birthday. Not a problem as I'm still free to take him out etc on his birthday. And I may have a hangover, so what?? I'll deal with it!

Do you think he's planning a surprise party for you?

That's mean. Did he not even ask you yet?he has just assumed youre available? Id get in their first and say your mum/made up friend is taking you out that night and the day after mwahahaa

*there

Can you plan something nice during the day for yourself? Lunch with friends, leaving the 4 year old with DH. Get pampered

I think you're being silly.

As long as he does something to make you feel special on your birthday, and that can be achieved with a hangover, I can't see the problem. Him going out the day before your birthday doesn't mean you can't mark the occasion in another way on another day.

I think you have your answer then OP. Ask him, would you like to make a fuss of me on my birthday, or shall I just take the baby out with me and have a lovely day with friends?