to want to have Christmas in my own house this year for the first time ever as an adult?

[inconceivableme]

DH, toddler DS and I plan to spend Christmas at home this year. Until now, since DH and I got together 15 years ago and have alternated Christmas itself between his family and mine ever since, and have then visited the other one after Christmas iyswim? So, the last 15 Christmases have involved a round trip drive of about 8 hours min every year. We now live closer to my family after having spent years living closer to his.

We want Christmas on our own this year and without having to pack up the car with loads of stuff and drive for hours. We plan to go to his family for a couple of nights a couple of weeks before Christmas and will see my family either on the 23rd or 27th. We'll have DH's parents visit twice before Christmas in addition to this too and they'll probably come to visit mid-January too. My family we see about once a week / every ten days or so usually.

Am anticipating that the ILs and my
parents might be disappointed but it's not unreasonable and selfish surely? I'm the wrong side of 35 and have never cooked my own Christmas dinner. As nice as it is to be catered for, this year we'd like to eat food of our choice, have our home comforts around and watch what we want on TV. Hopefully it'll be relaxing and fun and not too flat.

We don't have the space to host everyone unfortunately and ILs wouldn't stay in a hotel at Christmas and I don't blame them either.

OP, you go for it. You are only asking to have Christmas at home, you will see relatives lots before and after it. And some people have no idea if they have never done it themselves, how much hard work it can be travelling long journeys at Christmas, especially with toddlers.

YANBU

Pre-kids, dh and I used to alternate. As two adults it's easy to get up Xmas morning, exchange gifts then go out. Have lunch at parents, do some visiting, back home.

We started having Xmas in our own home when ds1 was a toddler. It's just a whole different ballgame with kids - you have to drag them away from the gifts they've received at home to get dressed, then have a pile of gifts from inlaws at the other end that you have to pack and cart back home. It's just a PITA, one that we can't be bothered with anymore.

Have Xmas at home op, you'll love it. So stress free!

Just realised I sound really mean and ungrateful 'can't be bothered with'. I don't mean it as harshly as it sounds - but it really is so much nicer in our own home now.

My mum really copped the hump the first year we stayed home. Until I pointed out that, growing up, we never had Xmas dinner at her mums, because she wanted to spend it in HER home with her dh and dcs.

Speaking from the other side I have 3 adult dcs and this yearmy youngest dc will be with her fiance parents as she was with me last year but the others are coming for Christmas. I had thought originally that one of my sons would be away with his partner so that there could have been just the three of us so I was planning to do Christmas very differently.

I know that as children grow into adults there have to be changes and I understand that my children will want to do other things.

When the children were little we used to have up to 20 family around but having moved away from my parents numbers have dwindled as my dbs do different things.

So my opinion is you have to be prepared to adapt to changes.