To ask you to be honest about your children and Facebook?

[ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks]

I've seen my 11 year old niece on Facebook for about a year now she's never been active really...just liked her Mum's posts etc.

Lately though I've noticed a lot of activity because it seems her friends (all in year 6) are on it and they arrange to meet up and also post loads of silly pics of themselves up there.

Is this usual?

My DD is in year 6 but at a different school...she's so much younger than my niece and her friends. She'd never want to share photos in the same way...too shy I think. She has a small group of friends and they all skype one another. Or text.

Am I being naive in thinking that year 6 is too young for facebook? I've already seen a bit of low level bullying and exclusion on my neices posts. They're so naive they don't even think about who can see what they put!

Are your year 6 DC on FB??

Ds was allowed one towards the end of yr 6 (now yr 8), but that was because his cousins moved about 6 hrs away, he was/is very close to them and it gave him a way of keeping in contact. I have his password, and normally go onto his profile several times a week, just to check, but his profile is well hidden and is not his known name, so it takes some finding.

5 of the 18 children in my DS' primary 4 class (aged 8!) are on Facebook, one of the mums set up a class "group" so they could arrange meet ups and discuss projects etc amongst themselves

DS has shown no interest in soci media and I hope he doesn't for quite a while but I think 10 would be my bare minimum with condition of me being able to monitor his account via access and friending but I don't be encouraging it if he's not bothered.

As others have said I think "banning" is a sure fire way to secrecy and that would be far worse.

My oldest is 13 and has no interest in Facebook. She occasionally posts on Instagram and sometimes uses Snapchat to chat to a friend 3,000 miles away (although she uses email more). She is into Tumblr though.

She uses Oovoo to chat to her friends here.

DD is Yr8 and 13 next month which is (as I understand it) the minimum age for FB. I wont let her have an account, or atleast I didnt until my friend pointed out that its far easier to see what she is upto on FB than on Whatsapp which her and her friends use.

I think I am changing my mind...

The thing is, 13 is only the minimum age because of American law.

They're not allowed to store information on anyone under the age of 13.

Otherwise, I'm sure there would be no minimum age at all.

I got my DC to use names and dates of birth that were not quite correct on Facebook. Eg Gracii Jones instead of Grace Jones Their birthdates were simply a day or so wrong. It helps keep things more private.

I think Facebook can cause an awful lot of problems for some kids. I've seen some shocking things on some kids accounts. A friends DD posted a rude'ish drawing of herself dressed (and labelled) as a prostitue with loads of swear words. The account had no privacy on it whatsoever and the girl was only 13. It wasn't the worst thing in the world but the fact that anyone could see it was a bit disturbing as you could have worked out where they lived etc. There were also photos of the girl in her bikini - which on its own is ok I suppose but put alongside the dodgy drawings was a bit much.

Ive no idea if it's any use but THIS SOFTWARE claims to monitor messages, snapchat, Facebook etc.

I think if you allow younger teen to have snapchat/Facebook etc then you have to have some sort of parental controls along with parental controls for accessing the Internet.

My DC didn't have Facebook until they were about 15/16 so I wasn't too concerned. They also didn't have Internet enabled phones until a similar age. I'm always shocked at parents who don't have any parental controls on their younger teens Internet enabled phones. There is so much awful stuff online (not just porn). It's too easy to accidentally see really horrible things.

I'm very prolific on social media, including Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Google Plus, etc etc,
I'm still not allowing my 11 year old on Facebook or Twitter type channels. Even though at LEAST half of the people his age have been on FB since year 5. (That's approximately 9 years old.)
Just WHY would you allow your child on there at that age?! I don't understand.
I've seen grown adults on there behave like kids in the playground, so why would you subject your kids to potential abuse?
My eldest ds is year 7 and he's in the minority not having a FB account. Being on FB myself I can see lots of classmates profiles, practically completely open.
FFS, if you have to be on there SHUT your profile DOWN so random strangers can't see all your pouting photos and whereabouts for next week!
Do the parents not give a shit or they completely oblivious?! Both highly dangerous.

My 10 yr old isn't on facebook & doesn't really take much interest in it. Some of her friends do have an account.

I know someone who set up an account for their 4 yr old. The child doesn't use it so what is the point of it.

My DS isn't interested. DD has had an account since 11 (now 14) but hardly uses it.

In all the schools I have worked at children are on facebook. Year three seems to be where it starts and it's pretty much always the mums who make them an account. Then by year six the majority are on it. It causes no end of problems and we regularly have to meet with children and children and parents to resolve facebook issues, quite often the mums have waded in and are posting on there too. It's a nightmare. Steer them well clear if you can.

The only reason '13' is the age for facebook is because, in the US, advertisers can't target people younger. It's nothing to do with any moral line in the sand.

MUMSNETTERS, SHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I made my eldest wait until he was 14. My youngest is 12 & I have told him that the minimum age is 14; he will not have it until then.
Please keep schtum about the age being 13 or he'll hear you! ( Nasty witch of a mother, obviously!)

We made DS1 wait until he was 13. I didn't want to encourage him to lie about his age, and I wanted him to have a year or so of secondary behind him before venturing on to Facebook.

He has been on it for 18 months now and has managed to handle it very well so far (one of the conditions was that we would have his password, and spot check it occasionally).

He doesn't actually use it that often; he and his friends tend to text instead.

We will be sticking to the same rules with DS2 (Y8 but not yet 13) and DD and DS3 (Y6).

"My kids weren't on Facebook until they met the site's minimum age requirements. There are things I'm anal about and that's one of them."

Same here. DD opened a Facebook account on her 13th birthday with the help of a couple of friends who had stayed the night.

Instagram is meant to be 13 as well.

Dd had Facebook in yr 7 on the proviso she accepted me as a friend

She used it loads to start off with, a couple of things cropped up that I had words with her about but she was pretty good, then she seemed to lose interest and rarely used it other than posting the odd photo

And then I realised that she was actually a prolific poster but had customised her settings so the only thing I could see was her photos

So if you think you know what your child is doing on Facebook because you are friends with them -you quite possibly don't

My son was as we're most of his friends. You have to be strict with it and also judge if your child can handle it. Even more (almost 13) I have his password and do regular checks of his comments/messages. The email he registered with is one of mine so i get the notification. When he was in year 6 is was mainly for games but now he uses the messenger and also calls people out for sharing chain letter style posts.

Dd1 has been on Facebook for years because she wanted to play FarmVille, but she had a very private profile and couldn't be searched, her only friends were relatives. Since leaving year 6 most of her old classmates are on it and it has been nice for her to stay in touch as they all went their separate ways.

Y6 DD not on Facebook although lots of her friends have accounts.

End of y6 seems to be when they all get access as a way to keep in touch with friends when they leave primary.

DS has had a heavily supervised account since he used mine to play FarmVille and kept spamming my friends with requests.

My Y6 DS is not on FB/Snapchat/Instagram or anything similar. None of his friends are either, or I'm sure he would be wanting an account. They all seem to still be in a Minecraft/Terraria/Clash of Clans phase mainly.

Ds1 is also year 6 although August born so not long turned 10.
He's recently said he wants Facebook when he is 13 having previously said he doesn't want it ever. I know some of his peers have it and seem to post a few inappropriate pictures (their parents are aware and cant see the problem)

Mine have all been on fb at that age. And I don't monitor especially though I am their fb friend. They mainly use fb chat etc rather than posting stuff on their pages. They also use Instagram, TUMBLR etc.

In y6 dd wasn't allowed FB.
She's recently been allowed it - she's y8 and 12y. A lot of her friends have or are turning 13y and being allowed so I allowed her, her FB is set on the highest privacy and her public cover and profile photo are not of her.

She's had Instagram since starting y7 and has proved herself sensible using that.

I have access to all passwords and she has to be friends with me on both - I created an Instagram account for me esp for this. I check her phone regularly and she is very aware of e safety info.