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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish these baby/toddler years would just hurry up and pass?

59 replies

JamTarte · 02/11/2014 14:09

Am SAHM with 16mo DS. Every day, I tell myself how it won't be long (I hope) before I'll be able to shower in peace/go out for a drink with DH/all the rest. It's like I'm wishing DS would just grow up which seems wrong - surely I should be enjoying this all more?? AIBU in wishing it would hurry along?

OP posts:
Purplepoodle · 03/11/2014 13:18

It's awful but this is why I work pt

moneyone · 03/11/2014 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bigkidsdidit · 03/11/2014 13:27

I don't love it either. I also have a nearly 4 yo and he is wonderful to be with - completely toilet trained, when we go out I don't need to take anything, can sit at a table in a cafe and chat away and eat a sandwich politely... I can't wait till my 17mo gets there too!

KalindaSharma · 03/11/2014 13:32

I felt like this, but now I work PT and TBH my attitude has transformed. I always thought I was a bad mother but really I just wasn't suited to being a SAHM. I didn't think I wanted to leave them either but honestly, it has made me appreciate my time with them, and this phrase of their lives overall 100 times more.

If find you continue to wish the time away, maybe reconsider the work thing, if only because it might help you enjoy this time more!

JamTarte · 03/11/2014 13:49

So general consensus seems to be they get better as they get older, especially at school age (I wonder why?!). Feel rotten saying that - wtf did I have a child if I'm looking forward to him being out the house?!? Sad

DS not talking, still babbling but says a few words and understands simple instructions, galv.

Sounds like my DS st 7mo, showme. I think a lot of it depends on the baby, maybe?? I.e. easy baby = babyhood is great!!

bertie there is a CC near me but it's massively oversubscribed and the groups are sooo busy. I go to a couple of toddler groups we both enjoy and are at the park so often we may as well start camping there.

And boy do I get sick of the sound of my own voice - it's this inane monologue of 'ooh look at that plane' and 'do you want to give that to mummy instead of poking it in your eye ?' ALL day.

I like to think I'll be better at the teen years too, poolo. A PP said how at some point they stop being a job and start being a person which sounds about right.

wandering that is just how I describe it to DH - Groundhog Day. I can't wait for the self-cleaning/feeding etc stage.

OP posts:
maninawomansworld · 03/11/2014 13:58

No YANBU.

My twins at coming up for 2 soon. I cannot wait until they're a few years older, I hate babies, nappies, crying, getting up in the middle of the sodding night, always having to wait for them to stop piddling around when we've got things to do.

My 12 year old nephew by contrast is an absolute delight through and through. He spent most of the summer at ours helping me out on the farm, we've spent days on end fishing, shooting and riding working in the school holidays .

Come on boys, grow up quick.... I LOVE older kids! Not too fussed on young ones though.

Bumpsadaisie · 03/11/2014 14:19

IME it gets much more fun as they hit the home strait towards 3. They are sensible enough they aren't likely to kill themselves, they usually sleep OK at night, they drop naps and can usually manage to make it through the day without getting too grumpy, they are out of nappies and use the loo like a civilised person, they can talk, they learn fun things, they become good company and don't have meltdowns so often any more.

They are lovely when babies of course, very snuggly and their needs are simple (if urgent!). But they don't sleep, they don't communicate much and they can't do much. Young toddlers are very very cute and such fun with all the new things they are learning, but the emotional roller coaster ride with a toddler is so demanding and the clinginess can really grind you down.

My youngest just turned three and I can definitely start to be able to reason with him. He is very cute, talks well, says sorry to me if he does something wrong and gives lovely big bear hugs and plays very cute games with his trucks. He will sit and play by himself for ages and happily goes off to preschool twice a week without sobbing and clinging.

My eldest is five, and apart from being the worlds slowest girl to get ANYTHING done, she is a joy. I pick her up from school at 4.15 and I am already looking forward to seeing her and walking home together in the cold sun. I can remember when she was 2 though; I did love her to death but goodness I found it hard, the whining, the moaning, the clinging. If I look back at videos of that time - DD is 2.5 and DS is a newborn - I get flashbacks and shudder at the memories (as well as, at the exact same time, getting a tear in my eye of nostalgia!)

moxon · 03/11/2014 14:53

I keep tearfully asking the 7mnth old 'why aren't you five yet?!' and suspect that one day DC will lie on a psychotherapist's couch saying 'I keep hearing these voices in my head telling me I have to be five! What does it all mean?' Halloween Hmm

Failedspinster · 03/11/2014 19:54

YANBU, at all. My DS1 was very difficult to care for, and now at 2.5 he is much easier to look after (although still often absolutely maddening, as toddlers are). The difference now is that I can hold long and endlessly entertaining conversations with him, as opposed to his baby years when he slept very little and screamed a lot. Unfortunately I will now do it all again with DS2, aged 9 weeks. By contrast my stepson was 7 when DS1 was born and was lovely to be around - no nappies, no yelling, fed himself. I look forward to both my boys being over two most days!

I do agree that you need a bit of time to yourself - maybe ask a relative to have him once in a while or join a babysitting circle? My DH works long days and our relatives aren't nearby, so I'm looking on childcare.co.uk for a local babysitter atm with the aim of having someone come in for a couple of hours once every couple of weeks to let me rest. I am a much better mother - more loving, more attentive and more patient - when I've had a bit of time to wander round the shops, get my nails done or even just have a bath in peace. You might feel better once you've had a bit of a rest.

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