To ask if anyone else is spending Christmas alone?

[warmgingerbread]

I sometimes feel like I'm the only one in the world who spends it alone ... Anyone else?

You don't sound at all unreasonable mirren
So sorry for your loss-everything must still be very raw for you.

I did it one year. Not as sad and pathetic as I thought it would be ;) . It was actually quite nice to be free to do what I want, going too christmassy, watching christmas movies and eating what I want in my underwear. I felt like the queen of the world.

mirren, your feelings on this are completely understandable for you xx

I looked at the volunteering for Crisis at Christmas, but am very surprised the only one in Scotland is in Edinburgh, Glasgow has many homeless people, why isn't there one here?

Thanks, I might have had a wee sniffle there. Bil has always been very me, me, me and his fiancée didn't really know dh so it doesn't seem to occur to her it is a bit insensitive.
The 3rd time she met dh he had just had major surgey and was in intensive care and wanted only our sons and mil to visit, anyway bil turned up with very new girlfriend, I've not forgiven them both for that and I know I need to move on but it is hard, I am happy for bil as he had a terrible divorce just wish he'd think about others for a change.

My cousin (late 40s with one grown up child living in Singapore) always spends Christmas day alone.

People are always trying to 'rescue' her to spend the day with them but she loves the day on her own. She pays a catering company to prepare her a fabulous 3 course meal (delivered Xmas Eve), buys herself a really good bottle of wine and watches movies all day.

Sounds pretty blissful to me.

The above said, I have two muslim students staying with me over christmas. I'll be working at the homeless shelter to escape

It's early days, mirren. You can't be expected to bounce along with everybody else, particularly insensitives. You're not being spoilt at all! Give yourself a break

oP, what have you done for the previous Christmases on your own.

Could you go away somewhere for Christmas?

If funds/ time allow something like a short cruise over Christmas would mean you weren't alone but could choose to be.

Lots of big cruise companies have lone traveller activities and dining tends to be on big tables so you wouldn't feel like the odd one out.

Nothing really. I'm okay with doing nothing but there is definitely this pressure to be doing Something, even if just spending it with relatives, unfortunately I don't have any.

I'll be working in a and e Christmas eve and Christmas day night unless I've managed to get a swap. Leaving my 4 DS with my mum

Argh hit post by accident

I find everything about Christmas a strain and guilt ridden.

I hope you have a stress free Christmas

If you're ok doing nothing then try not to think too much about it.

There are plenty of families who have a truly shit Christmas because they subscribe to the 'oh it's Christmas so we must get all the family together' school of thought.

Lots of families can't spend extended periods of time together without WW3 breaking out.

It's not as rosy as it's often made out to be.

I'm confused. You feel like you're the only person who spends it alone - that indicates that you don't think spending Christmas alone is 'typical' or 'ok'. Then you say that you have invites but don't accept....

So are you actually spending Christmas alone by choice, or is it that you wish you had family to spend it with?

No I don't have family lougle.

I have sake you get pressure put on you by people to spend it with them (who aren't family.)

Why are you confused?

You do talk to people who aren't your family sometimes I imagine ?

I'm trying to establish whether your issue is that you wish you had family to spend it with (understandable) or that you get fed up with people assuming that you wish you had family to spend it with?

You're being a bit snippy.

oP, if this is about you not having any family rather than just Christmas I suspect you'll get more support on the bereavement threads.

Unfortunately, if you don't have any family that fact can't be changed (unless you meet someone else) but that doesn't mean you have to spend Christmas alone.

There are a lot of people who'd prefer not to spend Christmas with their family - granted they have the luxury of choice- but it's not always all its portrayed to be.

Lougle, I apologise very genuinely. I had a hard time on here yesterday and since one of the instigators is posting on here it has made me defensive and as you say, snippy, I really am sorry for this.

Essentially, I am used to spending Christmas alone, but it is a bit different this year as previously I did have family and couldn't spend Christmas with them, now I don't have family! So I suppose it's got me thinking about Christmas, being alone, who else is in that situation, why, how people cope with well meaning invites and so on!

Bear I'll post where I want, thanks.

Jeezo OP- You clearly have very significant issues with your current situation.

You've sniped at most people on this thread whatever their suggestions so now blaming it on me is pretty low.

Thank you, warmgingerbread

I understand now. It perhaps seems insensitive that people would think that spending time with them would make up for your situation.

I think people tend to want to fix situations and it wouldn't occur to them that you don't want just any company at Christmas, you want to be able to spend it with your family.

I don't want to talk to you bear.

Please will you just leave me alone? I'm actually seriously wondering if you have something wrong with you. You keep following me into threads, making unpleasant remarks then accusing me of having issues when I respond to them! It's like you can't bear to let anything drop.

Of course I have issues with my situation, but I don't want to talk about my situation with you, so can you just stop posting to me? I think that would be best.

Yes I think that's it, lougle!

I totally 'get' that it's very kindly meant but it does make you feel like a charity case which is a bit uncomfortable.

op- I was genuinely trying to be helpful on here- clearly there's no point.

No, there isn't bear. Just leave me alone!

It's not easy, I'm sure. I hope that whatever you do, you're surprised by how much you enjoy it.

dp's cousin always spends it alone since her parents died. we have invited her to join us this year but she says she actually quite enjoys being on her own.

Last year on radio 4 it was stated 1 in 10 people spend Xmas alone so it isn't at all unusual.

Me and ds always spend it alone and have always enjoyed it. Good food and TV and general vegging out with a drink or two (for me not ds!) - great fun.