DD started secondary school this year and asked if we could have a small bonfire evening at the weekend (hotdogs and marshmallows on sticks toasted over the fire, spiced apple juice, glowsticks etc) for her and 4 of her new school friends.
Her best friend from primary school is also invited, lets call her A. A's dad lives abroad but visits her fairly often, every 2-3 months ish. A's mum is not a close friend but we get on fairly well, however A's dad is a bit of a PITA (loud, posh, domineering type) and has form for inviting himself to events. A's mum knows this and it annoys her - she's told me so before.
DD has just been on the phone to A and it turns out A's dad has paid a short notice visit this half term and is staying with them atm. A mentioned that he was coming to the bonfire and asked should they bring anything along?
Now, I hadn't invited any adults along (although I know A's mum was planning to stay and give me a hand supervising the sausage cooking), its very small scale, and I certainly don't want A's bloody dad there organising proceedings and commenting on the size of our house/garden or taking the piss out of our vegetarian-ness etc etc (as he is wont to do).
Just how rude would it be to say to A's mum that actually, A's dad isn't invited? It feels very rude indeed but OMG the thought of him coming along makes me want to cancel...