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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask any single parents on around £21k a year to tell me what benefits they get?

35 replies

FeckOffHeadache · 31/10/2014 09:49

Sorry I'm a bit desperate.

Single mum, 2 kids. Work full time, earn £21,500 a year. Own house.

Entitled to reckons I'd still get around £130 a WEEK in child benefit and child tax credits?? Surely this can't be right? If so I'm financially better off single ...

OP posts:

WonkoTheSane42 · 31/10/2014 09:56

If so I'm financially better off single ...

Surely only if your potential partner earned less than that £130 a week... £6760 a year.

Original poster

FeckOffHeadache · 31/10/2014 09:59

Well no cos we pay more council tax as a couple, our mortgage is higher than it would be if it was just me and we pay shit loads in child maintain acne which I wouldn't have if it was just me. Also I'd only have one car to run and control over my own money

OP posts:

sooperdooper · 31/10/2014 10:00

I agree with Wonko, only if your partner earned less than what you're entitled to - does your partner earn/contribute more than £520 a month?

Original poster

FeckOffHeadache · 31/10/2014 10:01

He's on around £35k a year but something doesn't add up. We're always skint. I had more disposable income as a single parent and looking at the entitledto website I'd be even better off now

OP posts:

sooperdooper · 31/10/2014 10:01

You only get 25% reduction in council tax as a single adult

Why would your mortgage be lower if you were alone, do you mean you'd move to a smaller house?

Why are you paying for his car? Isn't he contributing to his car running costs?

sooperdooper · 31/10/2014 10:03

If he's on £35k a year he should be getting around £2200 a month after tax & NI so something definitely doesn't add up, how much is he contributing to household bills etc? Do you have debts he's paying out of that?

WonkoTheSane42 · 31/10/2014 10:05

How do mortgage payments increase if you have a partner. Council tax - yes, you lose your 25% discount. Two cars - perhaps (no other option?)

I take it there is a specific person you have in mind to be this partner, so I'm sure you know best about their financial situation and gains/losses to the family budget.

SqueezyCheeseWeasel · 31/10/2014 10:05

There's no way that you should be better off as a single parent on £6k of additional benefit than you were when there was an additional £35k coming into the household. You are right, something has gone very wrong with the maths there.

Original poster

FeckOffHeadache · 31/10/2014 10:05

Yeah I'd get a smaller house. All our money is pooled and whatever needs paying gets paid out of the main account. On paper we should have around £1000 spare each month after groceries and everything ... However we usually end up in the overdraft and the bank statements don't seem to add up. £20 cash machine payments numerous times a week yet neither of us have money on us.
When I was single I used to pay my car insurance yearly. Now I'm "not allowed" as dp won't let me so we end up paying more for example.

OP posts:

sooperdooper · 31/10/2014 10:08

Not 'allowed' if you save up the money to pay your insurance monthly then it works out cheaper, how about telling him to f*ck off telling you what you're 'allowed' to do

Are they his card withdrawals? Could you say you each have X amount 'spends' each month that goes into individual accounts and then you'd have more control over it? £20 numerous times a week is definitely going to add up over a month

CalamitouslyWrong · 31/10/2014 10:09

How is your mortgage higher than if it was just you? Having chosen to take a bigger mortgage because the bank was willing to lend you more on two salaries doesn't actually count. When I was a single parent, I still needed a two bedroom flat. When DH moved in, it changed nothing except that he could contribute to the rent and food bills.

The difference in council tax is fairly insignificant.

Your husband's child maintenance issues are because he's a father to other children, so not actually relevant.

You choose to run two cars. We have one car between us.

LaurieFairyCake · 31/10/2014 10:09

It sounds like your partner is spending the money and you don't know about it

FloozeyLoozey · 31/10/2014 10:09

That doesn't sound right. I earn around 20k for 30hrs. I just got cb and £45 a week ctc, because I pay £27 a week in childcare. It would only go up if I paid an excessive amount of chilcare.

CalamitouslyWrong · 31/10/2014 10:10

I'm not sure why you've started a thread about how much single parents get about benefits (two threads actually) when the problem is that your husband is controlling over money and lots of it seems to disappear.

There is a problem, but it's your particular husband.

WonkoTheSane42 · 31/10/2014 10:12

Your partner's hiding something from you. My and my partner's income is the same as yours and his, almost exactly - you shouldn't ever be skint unless you are in massive debt or are constantly buying Faberge eggs or something.

CalamitouslyWrong · 31/10/2014 10:14

Setting the benefits aside, you will be better off out of this relationship no matter what. You're unhappy. You want to leave. He's an arse, who seems to be doing something untraceable with the family money that's leaving you short and is controlling about how the rest of it is spent.

Even if you appeared to be financially worse off, you'd be better off out of it.

PausingFlatly · 31/10/2014 10:16

Wait, why are you not receiving child benefit already?

It's only clawed back if there's a Higher Rate Taxpayer in the household - which there isn't.

(And even if there was, the clawback was brought in very recently, so you would have been claiming it before and wouldn't need to ask on MN about it.)

Original poster

FeckOffHeadache · 31/10/2014 10:16

I'm wanting to leave the relationship. I'm just trying to get an idea of what help I'd get as a single parent.

OP posts:

PausingFlatly · 31/10/2014 10:17

Sorry, that was phrased badly. But I don't understand what's going on with your child benefit.

BlinkingHeck · 31/10/2014 10:19

You would also get maintenance from him which isn't included in benefits calculations.

MassaAttack · 31/10/2014 10:19

Is that £21k before or after tax?

sooperdooper · 31/10/2014 10:20

Good point, you're entitled to child benefit anyway, you should get that now regardless - why aren't you?

LineRunner · 31/10/2014 10:20

Well, the answer to your original question is yes, £130 a week in child tax credits and child benefit sounds right for a lone parent of two earning under 23 grand.

I managed on a similar amount very well for many years when my exh left - I am pretty frugal and like being in control of my own money. He was like your current partner btw - could spend more in a week on coffees and magazine and treats than the DCs cost to feed.

CalamitouslyWrong · 31/10/2014 10:23

I think you must be really quite stressed, OP (and I can see why). You'd have been better starting your thread(s) straight out telling us that you need to leave a relationship and need help finding out what help you'll be entitled to financially.

How many children does he currently pay child maintenance for? Knowing that will help to work out how much maintenance he should be paying you.

Erbalunga · 31/10/2014 10:24

This isn't about benefits, OP. You have a household income of £51,000 which makes you relatively well off.

Your relationship is the problem, not your income.

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