To think this is smacking?

[Thistledew]

A friend said today that she would never smack her child, and that her method of using a 'tap' on the hand is not a smack.

AIBU not to see the distinction?

Sure, it's up to her whether she wants to smack her 3 year old (and has been doing so since her DD was about 6 months old), but is it not a bit disingenuous to say she doesn't smack? Or is there a difference I am unaware of?

She's probably minimizing to avoid judgement from you.

A tap is not a smack

A tap is not a smack

Still an assault though.

Six months old. Don't think I could be friends with anyone who thought that was appropriate.

A tap is not assault either ffs..

A tap is not a smack, in terms of the physical act/hand position. I suspect that's not the point though.

To tap someone on the shoulder is akin to a smack? Hmmm....

I dont understand why anyone uses smacks/taps etc. I understand even less why someone would ever contemplate it for a six month old.

She calls it a tap.

But basically she's hitting her kid. Which is what we tend to mean by smacking a child.

Yanbu.

What will she do when the kid hits someone else!? My dd and ds copy me when I tell them off. Matter of time before hers copies her.

I certainly saw her do it when her DD was 8 months and crawling/ cruising and exploring things she wasn't allowed into.

This isn't going to go well.

Six months old?! what on earth could a six month old BABY have done to deserve a smack/tap/whatever she wants to dress this abuse up as!

I HATE it when people minimise their smacking as a "tap"?

If you're intending it as a punishment, it's still smacking.

Erroneous question mark there, sorry!

I get confused with the 'tap' thing tbh.
To me a tap is a light touch with no anger. A smack is a hit.

It's hitting, tap is lighter than a smack which is lighter than a punch. All wrong in my opinion, and a 6 month old? Freaking ridiculous.

To me a tap is a light touch with no anger

Exactly. So how is that supposed to act as a punishment or a deterrent? It isn't. Therefore it's pointless.

The reality is it's never just a tap, it's a smack.

A tap is not assault either ffs..

It is. Especially upon a six month old baby.

Oh, and a tap on the shoulder is entirely different to a tap 'administered' by an admonishing parent. Don't try and fudge the issue.

The reality is it's never just a tap, it's a smack

Oh come on. Honestly?

I once tapped a friend's child's (approx 18 months) hand as it sneakily reached into a drawer full of sewing implements. I used fingertips with the same force you'd use to get someone's attention (as above, tap on the shoulder level). Child was not even remotely distressed, and Mum didn't phone the police, so I can only imagine that it was taken as the intervention it was intended to be.

If anyone thinks that this makes me a violent child abuser, you can frankly fuck off.

Oh fgs a tap is not an assault. IMO some children these days need a few 'taps'.

What you're describing is FINE MaidOfStars. You intervened to stop a baby accessing something dangerous.

What I object to is people hitting a child on the hand as punishment and calling it a tap. Or, tapping a child gently on the hand and thinking that's a punishment. I could tap my 3 year old on the hand tomorrow and she wouldn't bat an eyelid!

And mine, Lady!

If it's really a "tap" then it's no good as a deterrent or punishment.

A smack needs to be sharp enough to stop the child or it's pointless.

So no, even if she's saying "tap", then it's just a smack by another name.

She's tapping on the hand to discipline. That makes it a smack.

Let's call it a punch, shall we?