To think this is smacking?

[Thistledew]

A friend said today that she would never smack her child, and that her method of using a 'tap' on the hand is not a smack.

AIBU not to see the distinction?

Sure, it's up to her whether she wants to smack her 3 year old (and has been doing so since her DD was about 6 months old), but is it not a bit disingenuous to say she doesn't smack? Or is there a difference I am unaware of?

It's wrong to do anything which hurts children. If it is genuinely a tap which draws their attention rather than hurts them, as you might tap someone on their hand to draw their attention when out in a noisy bar or something, that's fine. If a tap hurts, that's wrong. The line is always drawn there for me. Something which causes pain is wrong. But a tap on the hand which causes no pain is fine to me. A pat on the hand which causes no pain can be a good way of attracting attention during a tantrum.

I get confused with the 'tap' thing tbh.
To me a tap is a light touch with no anger. A smack is a hit

This. I tap my kids often. Probably have since they were months old. It's not to discipline at all, but to draw attention.

A tap in the sense of the word as I understand it is Worlds away from an actual 'smack'.

Dd 1 is 19 I've never had to 'tap' or smack. Dd2 is 18 months and I wouldn't dream of it either.

Mil spoke of dd2 getting a smacked hand.... Yeah just try it.

Yes a tap on the hand is assault and stopping a child from going out into the street is unlawful imprisonment. Putting a bottle in a babies mouth is force feeding. Taking a nappy off to change it is sexual assault. Telling them over and over to stop throwing that ball at the TV is harassment.

After all you wouldn't try to do any of those things to a random guy at a bus stop which is the comparison many people make.

If a tap is exactly that, a light touch which doesn't hurt, then it's akin to saying "no" or using signing.

If it hurts then it is a smack.

I smacked my toddler son on a handful of occasions, out of sheer frustration. It didn't help. It made me feel terrible & upset him slightly for a very short time. Depriving him for a while of something he wanted was much more effective.

Thrholidaysarecoming, my MIL spoke of dc, about the same age, getting this as well. And it was a hypothetical, too. Like, "If I saw xx run towards the street I'm give them such a smack" - brought up out of thin air, since dc never ran towards the street. I turned to MIL and said, "You even think about hitting dc and you'll have me to deal with".

Unfortunately MIL was brought up in a family that thought inflicting pain (smacking) to prevent pain (going out in the street and possibly getting squashed by a car) was the thing to do.

I must say that I was fortunate not to have a dc that was a runner, etc. It made it Easier to teach because I wasn't tempted to threaten. I can see the temptation of getting to the end of my rope with a dc that didn't listen.

I would put a tap on the same level as a pat, and that she's done it to get the DCs attention rather than to punish them or anything.

Assault? WTF??

Anyone smacking their baby (which google says is 'a sharp slap or blow, typically one given with the palm of the hand') would be assaulting them, and if that's the case then you've sat back and watched your friend abusing her baby and done nothing OP?

I don't think so.