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Original poster

To not take my DD trick or treating?

84 replies

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 29/10/2014 16:58

I suffer with anxiety and the thought of turning up at random peoples houses and asking for sweets freaks me out. I know its shitty that my DD will miss out, but I was thinking of hiding treats around the house for her to hunt for instead.

Does this sound incredibly shitty? Should I just suck it up and face my fear?

MN jury, opinions please!

OP posts:
ApocalypseThen · 29/10/2014 20:12

Is there anyone you can call into, like relatives or friends close enough? I grew up in the country so that's what my parents did, and it worked - aunties and granny had 'frights' and gave sweets. You wouldn't need to be anxious then, just a call to ask if they'd like it?

Original poster
puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 29/10/2014 20:28

I know brass Sad I really am working on it. I push myself incredibly hard to do things for her that I really wouldn't do otherwise. Thus far, I don't think it is affecting her. She is a confident, outgoing child and I have actively encouraged this. I used to be like this once upon a time Sad

Her dad is all but reclusive (we are separated now) so parties and dance classes etc are all done by me. I even threw her birthday party this year all by myself I am adamant she will not miss out because of my short comings and I am sure as time progresses, I will bite the bullet and go trick or treating with her. If I can go with a friend this year, then next year I imagine I would be confident enough to do it myself.

I don't have any relatives close, and my friends are mostly ones from uni who have either moved away or will be out getting pissed Grin I moved here about 3 years ago for uni, but have just moved out of the area I lived in to a new one.

OP posts:
mewkins · 29/10/2014 20:32

Of course you don't have to do it. I never did as a child and I do feel scarred! My dd is a bit younger than yours anx is excited that she gets to dress up and run to the door to see all the big boys and girls dressed up, bless her. That iz the most exciting thing she can imagine and I really hope that the kids from school don't get it into her head that she could be the one actually knocking on doors! !

spamanderson · 29/10/2014 20:32

We don't trick or treat. I don't agree with it. You teach your children not to go to strange houses and not to take sweets from strangers yet one night a year, that's fine all of a sudden :/ makes no sense to me I'm afraid! We're complete Halloween Scrooges too I'm afraid, I got a big tub full of sweets last year, most kids were grateful, some tried to take handfuls and a few gave us attitude that we didn't have anything left, including adult chaperones with the children! Sorry no I just don't get it!

ApocalypseThen · 29/10/2014 20:35

my friends are mostly ones from uni who have either moved away or will be out getting pissed

We're getting a pre arranged scare from the nieces and nephews at around 5.30 on Friday - can they not hold off for something that early?

hels71 · 29/10/2014 20:37

I have never taken my DD trick or treating. She is going with a friend this year...who goes to her two neighbours and her granny's house then coming here. You don't have to do it you know....

MrsPnut · 29/10/2014 20:39

It's fun to do trick or treating with friends anyway. We used to go out as a group and then back home for hotdogs and hot chocolate with marshmallows.

SDTGisASpookyWoooolefGenius · 29/10/2014 20:42

When the dses were small, I didn't want to go trick or treating - to be honest, it was largely because I didn't want to trail round our neighbourhood in the cold and the dark. So I used to do a little party instead - Halloween-y type food (hot dogs, if memory serves), bobbing for apples and other games - nothing too stressful - and they enjoyed it.

When they got older -teenagers, I think - old enough to go trick or treating in a group with their friends - they used to go without me, and I could stay in my nice warm house, and blog a few sweets from them when they got home! Grin

SDTGisASpookyWoooolefGenius · 29/10/2014 20:45

Blag a few sweets - darned iPad autocorrect!

MrsItsNoworNotatAll1 · 29/10/2014 20:46

We've never done it and never will. I hate Trick or Treat with a passion. Wouldn't stop them going to a Halloween party but Trick or Treat is a no no. Just feels wrong knocking on folks doors and wanting them to give you sweets.

Ilovenicesoap · 29/10/2014 20:49

spam totally agree!
All these stupid threads about what you are going to do spend and its just so much easier to put a sign on the door, stay in and eat cake and save yourself £50 on tatty costumes and sugary crap.

usualsuspect333 · 29/10/2014 21:34

That will be folks who are happy to give your children sweets...

unlucky83 · 29/10/2014 22:11

I'm English, living in Scotland and used to hate it - take the batteries out of the doorbell, close the curtains etc. I thought it was really American - in fact I told two small boys that who did (dare) knock on my door one year...(neighbours who knew I had a small child so probably thought I'd be participating)
I didn't have any sweets etc and they stood there and recited a poem and thanked me for listening Blush
DD1 went to a party at the church - (no scary costumes allowed!!) - dunking for apples etc. Which is what I did as a child. It was always quiet and they stopped doing it when DD1 was about 6.
Asked another parent if they knew of any other organised parties - and that's when I discovered Scottish guising. We got invited to go to their house - a small house party followed by guising. I was a bit Hmm ...I went round with my eldest, her friends and a couple of mums. It wasn't at all how I imagined. I now take the youngest one round (in a small group), eldest goes with her friends.
We only go to houses with lit pumpkins on display, you are invited in, there are often small parties going on and the children have to do a 'trick' - tell a scary story/recite a poetry/ tell jokes to earn their treat....Costumes are often homemade/put together, houses aren't overly decorated and the same decorations (apart from pumpkins) come out every year...
I don't think I'd do the American standing at the door getting sweets or playing tricks - that would seem like begging but I think guising is completely different. Therefore if you are in the rest of the UK I wouldn't take mine and would agree spam - all the plastic tat etc.
But here I think I do think it is completely different ...

SDTGisASpookyWoooolefGenius · 29/10/2014 22:16

I am English, living in Scotland, like you, unlucky - and I agree, guising (telling a joke or singing a song or reciting a poem) in return for the sweets (and monkey nuts) is much nicer and more fun.

Panzee · 29/10/2014 22:17

I nip round the neighbours' in the day to check if they're ok with a visit. I've also brought sweets so they can give them out if they don't want to buy any! I know you're anxious so forgive me if I'm speaking out of turn, but would asking them in the daytime be any better?

bigbluestars · 29/10/2014 22:20

We do guising here too in SCotland, it's lovely. Kids spend days practicing their chosen song or finding spooky jokes.
WE had over 40 kids at the door guising last year, they know they have to perform in turn and take great pride in performing their little party piece at the door before being rewarded with a sweet.
No menaces here.

Original poster
puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 29/10/2014 22:42

Panzee, I don't know any of them so I don't think the time of day would make it any better. Thanks for the suggestion though Smile

I like the thought of guising, it is similar to carolling which I also like.

OP posts:
sourdrawers · 30/10/2014 12:39

Guy Fawkes night, at least that's got something behind it. Halloween is just crass and pointless.

mewkins · 30/10/2014 12:40

I have heard of guising and think it's a lovely idea. Wish it would catch on here as well and hopefully the teens who knock at the door will be too embarrassed to do it!

bigbluestars · 30/10/2014 12:43

"Guy Fawkes night, at least that's got something behind it. Halloween is just crass and pointless."

Sourdrawers- Halloween is part of our culture and dates back a long time.

silver-fish.hubpages.com/hub/halloween-turnips

squoosh · 30/10/2014 12:44

Guy Fawkes night, at least that's got something behind it. Halloween is just crass and pointless.

What an odd comment. Halloween predates Guy Fawkes by more than one or two years.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 30/10/2014 12:48

Sourdrawers archive.archaeology.org/online/interviews/butler.html

Halloween as just as much, and just as little, relevance as all the other festivals with which we break up the year...

OP doesn't have to take her DD trick or treating though - ideally she could go with somebody else, or do a pumpkin for the doorstep and dress up and hand out sweets at home.

sourdrawers · 30/10/2014 13:39

I know but it's just stupid, and pagan why not 'Green man' day ? Guy Fawkes night has some meaning and relevance.

squoosh · 30/10/2014 13:43

I know but it's just stupid

Are you 8 years old?

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 30/10/2014 13:44

Why not 'Green Man Day' indeed? Good idea, lets start it... :o

Its all fairly random - I like bonfire night, but really, exactly what relevance does it have? Why not have special days to celebrate the failure of any other terrorist plot - there have been plenty on UK shores even in the last centuary. Anyone want to celebrate the fact the Brighton hotel bomb didn't kill then PM Maggie Thatcher? :o Celebrating burning somebody to death on a fire is very hard to explain to people from other countries btw - I explain Bonfire night to adult EFL students each year, and they are generally pretty shocked...