I dont want my DD to go paragliding!!!

[tametortie]

My DD is 11 and my pfb. I cant help it, I cant have anymore kids and she is just my princess, my world. I try not to wrap her in cotton wool but I hold my hands up, I'm guilty.

She is on holiday in Spain with her Dad at the moment, back home on Friday and he has just messaged me to say they have been paragliding on a speedboat today and she loved it.

Now before he took her, I specifically said I didn't want her going on water sport stuff on the beach. I hate banana boats etc and I said definitely no paragliding. Cue lots of whispering and tittering from him at the time we had this conversation (a couple of weeks ago..) saying 'silly mummy' 'you can go on them' which she thought was hilarious. But I spoke to her after this conversation and made it clear that this was something I felt strongly about and I really don't want her to go on these things. She agreed at the time.

Now I just feel really hurt and mad. That he undermined me in front of her at the time and that he has just gone ahead and done it anyway which I feel has undermined me further. And hurt that she has disregarded my feelings. Not mad at her, just hurt

What shall I do now? Am I just being silly and need to man up?

You have a problem with worrying but you ex is being an arse phoning you to tell you dd had done something that would upset you and then call you silly.

He is playing power games with you and I think you know it.

I think people who have said that when dd is with her dad then dad can do what he wants with her as long as it is legal and in his opinion safe.

But there is no reason to tell you about it, especially if it is something he knows you wouldn't like.

I think, and I know it is not easy, just have no interest in what they do together, just say you are her parent when she is with you you are responsible for her health, safety, security etc, but you don't need to know about the activities. I think that would take some of the fun out of it for him.

You are being overprotective (but you know that already)
Let her have fun, do you really think her dad wants her injured?
He will have made calculated risks when he was there, it's not paragliding, it's parasailing. Much less dangerous
Would I let my child do it. Yes (but would watch through my hands)

Although you sound overprotective, the paragliding has happened already and it is becoming obvious it isn't the main issue; all this is really about your ex using his time with your DD to get at you and wind you up as much as he can. Thank goodness he's your ex, if he sends messages saying "sorry but its your fault you make me angry".

My worry would not be the paragliding specifically, but whether the ex is nasty only to OP, or liable to be like this to DD too if she fails to behis mini me with the same opinion and tastes about everything... What if she ddoesn't want to do an activity he suggests? Will he tell her she's like her mum (with all the negativity he attaches to that)?