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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how some people on facebook have thousands of friends??

32 replies

applemac · 29/10/2014 12:22

Usually it's a teen thing. How can anyone know 2500 people? I don't remember knowing that many when I was a teenager.

This will no doubt be my dd in a few years time.

OP posts:
LadySybilLikesCake · 29/10/2014 12:24

Some people just add anyone, so if they are in groups they will post 'add me'. Stupid IMO.

WorraLiberty · 29/10/2014 12:25

It's fairly obvious they don't know 2500 people

Most people I know with a ridiculous amount of 'friends', aren't teenagers but gamers.

Patrickstarisabadbellend · 29/10/2014 12:26

I had 1000 friends once and I knew every single one of them.

Now I have 300 which are family, friends etc..

Original poster
applemac · 29/10/2014 12:26

Really? That is strange. I only add people that I actually know and see in my day to day life. But then I am 34.

OP posts:
ItsGotBellsOn · 29/10/2014 12:27

I think a lot of youngsters just add any old random, which is worrying.

DH has a thousand odd friends because a) he has worked in the same industry - a very social industry where networking is key - and really does have loads of friends and friendly professional contacts, and b) he has loads of friends through the football team he has supported for years.

Original poster
applemac · 29/10/2014 12:28

I think it certainly is possible to know that many people if you have a high profile job. One of my friends was a semi famous model and even she 'only' has about 800.

OP posts:
dreamerdoer · 29/10/2014 12:32

Friend everyone you run into including for example, people who attend the same class as you but you don't actually talk to, friends of friends you met once, people you played an online game with (even for only a few minutes), people on an internet forums, people in fb groups, etc.

accept all friend requests even from complete strangers/bots/etc.

Never unfriend anyone even if you will never see them again.

Moln · 29/10/2014 12:33

Networking or gaming or using FB like Twitter.

People use FB differently. The number of friends someone else has shouldn't effect your use unless you tag them in something and your settings are set to 'friends of friends' because then the thousands can see it.

Flump007 · 29/10/2014 12:34

Easy. They just press the add friend or accept friend request button frequently regardless of who the other person is.
How well they know these people is more debateable than the how many are actual friends question. No one has that many friends but lots have many acquaintances. That is what 90% plus of these people are - acquaintances not actual friends.

jellybelly701 · 29/10/2014 12:36

I'm one of the younger MNer aged just 22. I can tell you that a lot of teenagers will just add anyone. I used to get 10+ friend requests a week from people I had never met nor heard of and another 5+ requests from people I had briefly met and maybe said two words to.

My inbox was full of 'random add I hope you don't mind' it drove me nuts. One of my old friends was the type to add anyone who was a mutual friend of well, anyone. She had around 3000 friends and by her own admission only really knew about 100 and was in contact with around 10.

I guess people must feel the need to feel popular or liked. Similar to the obsession about how many likes a status or photo gets.

LiviaDruscillaAugusta · 29/10/2014 12:38

I have nearly 2,000 FB friends and have only met four of them in real life. Most of them have connected through various groups of which I am a member, some request/have been requested due to number of mutual friends etc.

Its easy really - I am interested in certain breeds of cat, and a lot of people have their cats as a profile picture (as do I) so they are more likely to connect.

Some of these people I have some level of internet contact with almost every day, and tbh it beats having RL friends, far lower maintenance Grin

Original poster
applemac · 29/10/2014 12:41

That's interesting.

OP posts:
PumpkinGordino · 29/10/2014 12:43

"I only add people that I actually know and see in my day to day life" - if you see them (nearly) every day why do you need to connect online?

people use social media in different ways. i mostly have people who i don't see every day but who i like to stay in contact with - family who live far away and friends from university and school who are scattered about the country or world

PumpkinGordino · 29/10/2014 12:45

(i wasn't saying you shouldn't have people you see on there every day btw - just that it's the obvious question when people ask why you ahve friends on FB who you hardly ever see or have never met in RL)

insancerre · 29/10/2014 12:48

My brother is in his forties and he has over 2000 friends on Facebook
He is a member of lots of different groups online and goes to lots of gigs and is involved in lots of different causes
Its easy to get lots of friends if friends of friends send requests
I only accept people I know bit I haven't met all of them face to face

LiviaDruscillaAugusta · 29/10/2014 12:49

I have met some fabulous people online that I would consider "friends".

I have made some slightly unconventional choices about my life (no friends/partner/DC) and I have social phobia, so I find it fun to spend time on FB etc with people who have mutual obsessions interests. If I spoke to people in RL they would be bored witless! Grin

PiperIsOrangePumpkins · 29/10/2014 12:51

I have 2 facebook accounts.

The 1 I will add anyone as its my 'fake' account I use it for gaming. That has thousands of people on it.

My main facebook is locked down as that has around 400, but I have a massive family

Original poster
applemac · 29/10/2014 13:05

Ah well my main use of facebook is to share photos of my kids with friends and relatives.

OP posts:
Rafflesway · 29/10/2014 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PumpkinGordino · 29/10/2014 13:17

haha - you can change those settings

i use it a lot for private chatting with friendship groups where we no longer live nearby each other. so no one else has to see us wittering on

Espii · 29/10/2014 13:44

I'm younger than 22. I have 197 friends. I talk to 3 or 4 of them.

sillymillyb · 29/10/2014 13:46

I used to be an event manager - I had about 1500 friends. All people I worked with, were networking contacts etc.

I left that business, and now have about 200 people on there.

WrappedInABlankie · 29/10/2014 13:51

I'm 21 and have 10 Facebook friends those are people I talk to frequently. Facebook is over rated and anyone who post on groups begging to be added need a slap Hmm

offtoseethewizard64 · 29/10/2014 14:27

But surely if you have that many friends your newsfeed must be full of posts by people you aren't really interested in and you miss the stuff about people that you actually know - or am I missing something?

fatowl · 29/10/2014 14:28

I have about 400 "friends"

I live overseas and it is the main way I chat to my mum and sister and keep in touch with people.

I'm also a member of a big voluntary organisation and I have a lot of "friends" through that, but I'd class them as contacts rather than friends.

I'm also a member of several groups, eg our school year group has an active (closed/private) page.

I've never felt the need to post what I'm having for lunch though