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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you should reply to a text within an hour or 24hrs absolute max?!

92 replies

kirsten123 · 27/10/2014 12:14

It takes seconds, seriously! And it's easier just to reply straightaway than to have to remember to do it later.

I texted a friend of mine re meeting up in a few weeks. 48hrs later - no response. Now, meantime, I'm having to keep that day free for her!! Now I understand she might be checking her diary or whatever but cldnt she text "checking diary will get back to you". Instead of me having to wonder "should I check to see she got the text or is that going to annoy her?"

FWIW she has no DCs.

OP posts:
TooMuchRain · 27/10/2014 12:39

YABU - you are talking about meeting in a few weeks not the same day so no obvious rush for your friend.

I don't use my mobile at work and don't bother checking at home if busy so could easily go a day or two without replying but wouldn't be at all offended if I was too late and friends had made other arrangements.

buffythemuffinslayer · 27/10/2014 12:51

I think YABU, a bit.

Perhaps she was busy, has planned to reply when she has a quiet moment etc. Just make other arrangements if you want to, and when she texts back you can let her know.

FWIW I either text back immediately or within a week, depending on the query/urgency/if I remember. Phone is much better! What with work emails, personal emails, text, whatsapp etc, there is so much correspondence flying around it can get overwhelming.

Smilesandpiles · 27/10/2014 12:57

If it's important and you need a reply, then call.

I'd drop you (In fact I have done) if you started demanding that I reply to a text within a certain time frame.

Original poster
kirsten123 · 27/10/2014 12:58

to be fair, I don't always hear my phone when it beeps so I really mean you should reply within an hour ( on weekend/non-work day) or 24hrs (work day) of RECEIVING the text.

OP posts:
Original poster
kirsten123 · 27/10/2014 12:59

I wantses to institute a law called:

The Time Limits of Communication Responses (Text Messaging) Act 2014.

OP posts:
treaclesoda · 27/10/2014 12:59

You'd hate me. I live in an area with a poor signal. Sometimes I don't get any texts for weeks and then my phone goes mad and I get dozens of them. If all those people are sitting at home hating me because I haven't replied, I'd be pretty pissed of with them, seeing as it is beyond my control. And if I do receive a text and want to reply by text immediately, I'd have to get in my car and drive a few miles for a better signal to be sure of it actually sending. I know people don't believe this but there are, even in 2014, places with no mobile signal.

Mintyy · 27/10/2014 13:00

Gosh, you wouldn't be friends with me then! If someone expected an instant reply from me concerning an event that was a couple of weeks away I'd tell them to fuck off quite frankly.

Original poster
kirsten123 · 27/10/2014 13:00

Oh no, Smiles, I'd never SAY anything (cos I'm all British and polite innit!)

OP posts:
AnnOnymity · 27/10/2014 13:00

Mobile signal where I live is so awful that it can take days before I receive a text. I tend to only get them when I drive somewhere else, which I don't do every day.

Icimoi · 27/10/2014 13:00

I get massive text performance anxiety tho. I can't reply straight away if it's someone other than DP/me mum cos I panic, and then I panic that I've left it too long to reply and it gets worse and worse.

Wow. If that were me, I'd just get rid of the text facility altogether.

Mintyy · 27/10/2014 13:00

I don't even know where my phone is half the time. Its cos other people are different to you, see?

treaclesoda · 27/10/2014 13:01

I'm pissed off with my phone now for changing off to of...Wink

Icimoi · 27/10/2014 13:02

Kirsten, why don't you just phone?

Original poster
kirsten123 · 27/10/2014 13:02

The thing that bugs me you see is that my friend IS glued to her big swanky phablet phone! She doesn't live in a mobile signal free farm in the back of beyond.

Maybe she hates me. But she could just text "No, I hate you".

OP posts:
Smilesandpiles · 27/10/2014 13:02

to be fair, I don't always hear my phone when it beeps so I really mean you should reply within an hour ( on weekend/non-work day) or 24hrs (work day) of RECEIVING the text.

my response to that would be "fuck you, who do you think you are making demands on what I should do and when"

fuctifino · 27/10/2014 13:03

YABU

Isn't it somewhat needy to want instant (within an hour response)?

I don't have my phone on me during the working day.
If it's that important, people know where I work, they can ring the switchboard.

Smilesandpiles · 27/10/2014 13:03

Either call her or arrange to do something with someone else then.

Seriously, grow up.

Original poster
kirsten123 · 27/10/2014 13:04

Well, I don't phone cos I don't want to come across like "You haven't replied to my text so this is the text police here".

There should really be an etiquette book about this sort of stuff.

And if you ARE a "crap with mobiles" sort of person, you should warn ppl of that before giving out your digits!

OP posts:
Original poster
kirsten123 · 27/10/2014 13:05

Smiles - my tongue has been in my cheek throughout this thread ;-)

OP posts:
cruikshank · 27/10/2014 13:07

Texts are a fucking pain in the arse. Take the OP's situation - you want to set up a date to meet. That would take, say a 2 minute phone call at most. So what do you do? That's right, you get your phone out and start tapping out a message, which takes a good couple of minutes anyway. Then you wait for a reply. During this time you check your phone maybe once an hour or so. Taking yet more time. Your friend replies next day, says she can't make that day but could you do the one after. That has also taken her a couple of minutes to write. You then get the text, reply, taking another couple of minutes to write it, asking what time would suit her. You wait for the reply as well, then she replies and ... fucking hell. What a totally fucking inefficient way of communicating. It's like leaving fucking notes in a hole in a tree for each other to take as you go to and from work in the morning. Just phone, suggest a time and date, and get it sorted out there and then. I really hate having text conversations for this exact reason - it's a waste of time and the constant bipping and fucking around with numeric keypads is a faff.

HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 27/10/2014 13:08

I know how you feel. I only have one day off work this half term and was arranging something with another mum, but she's not text back. Now I don't know what to do. I don't want to text back and look needy, but I am now doubting booking a different day out because what if she rings/texts expecting me to have kept my day off free?

SO do I text/call and say I've arranged something else or do I text/call asking if the day is still ok?

Only1scoop · 27/10/2014 13:12

I'm a bit of a nitemare like your friend for texting back....

Irritates me when it's other way around thoughWink

ScreamerMaanAndGoryOn · 27/10/2014 13:15

I forget it reply to texts all the time.

I wouldn't keep your day free for her. If she was super keen on meeting up your have had a reply for her by now.

ScreamerMaanAndGoryOn · 27/10/2014 13:16

I'm also a great believer that if it's really important you should call people.

wanttosqueezeyou · 27/10/2014 14:00

If I have some time to waste eg a waiting room I go through all my texts and have a mass text reply to all the texts I've received when I was running out the door/late for work/couldn't be bothered. Sometimes they go back weeks.

I will no doubt fall foul of your new communications act.