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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

4 missed calls from my boss, I am SO SCARED

66 replies

Countrymouse1 · 27/10/2014 09:15

Have emailed in sick today after being off last week I just want to leave I am shaking again now, don't know to answer the phone or not. The calls won't stop. Wtf do I say when I answer I dont want to discuss it and say its precisely to do with that work environment, I dont want to get into an exhausting argument on the phone.

Just need to vent, I am doing ok with my anxiety and then every time my boss calls I get so tearful and shaky and dont know what to do.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 27/10/2014 09:16

Turn the phone off

Have you seen a doctor?

skylark2 · 27/10/2014 09:17

Your boss is calling you at home? That's not on.

Is your boss horrid? Is it possible he/she is worried about you and is calling as a friend?

Can anyone else answer the phone for you?

annie987 · 27/10/2014 09:17

Answer it - or you'll worry all day.
Don't give specifics. Just say you're too ill to talk right now and you'll call to arrange a face to face meeting when you're feeling better. And keep repeating.

naturalbaby · 27/10/2014 09:18

Either return the call or turn your phone off and focus on yourself for the rest of the day.

AmserGwin · 27/10/2014 09:18

Agree turn the phone off. They should not be harassing you at home when you have told them your not coming in

tywysogesgymraeg · 27/10/2014 09:18

You'll have to talk to your boss. But you just need to explain that you're not well, and you'll come and see him/her when you get back to work. In the meantime, go and see your gp and get yourself signed off due to stress and use the time to find another job.

Sleepyhoglet · 27/10/2014 09:18

You can self certify for a week but after that you do need to provide a doctors note. Have you done that?

londonrach · 27/10/2014 09:19

Poor you. Id answer it as you been worried about it all day. Just keep repeating to boss im sorry but im too ill to talk ill talk when im back. Boss by the way shouldnt be calling you. Have you seen the doctor as you might need a doctors note. Get well soon x

ArkhamOffett · 27/10/2014 09:19

Does your contract allow you to email in sick? Mine doesn't, so I'd expect a manger to phone me so it can be logged properly.

Your priority is to see your GP as you sound in a terrible state and you need to sort that for you, not for work.

Original poster
Countrymouse1 · 27/10/2014 09:20

The calls are definitely not friendly!

Yes I have seen a doctor, started antidepressents and am due back in with the gp tomorrow.

Nobody else to answer the phone, but I think I will switch it off as advised. There's no business need for all the calls it's definately to argue with me.

OP posts:
namelessposter · 27/10/2014 09:21

Many employment contracts require you to report sickness over the phone, not email. Check your contract if you want to be sure to be paid for today as a sick day.

chopinbabe · 27/10/2014 09:21

I would return the call, otherwise you will be worried all day either about what he or she was going to say and also wondering if they think you are out and about, when you are ill.

Do it quickly and say what others have said about being too ill to speak right now but will call/ meet when you feel better.

lemonpuffbiscuit · 27/10/2014 09:21

I was hassled while off signed off sick. Ring citizans advice. I did a long time ago - was told i think that they can contact but not hassle you. Can you email/text and say sorry to miss your call and can they text/email to contact you. Keep everything in writing

Are you off with stress?

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 27/10/2014 09:22

If you were off sick last week & have called in sick again today, could he/she just be letting you know you need a Drs note now?

I would try to see a GP today, ask for a note & then send an e-mail (if you can't face phoning) to say that you have a sick note for X amount of days/weeks which you will put in the post today.

That should stop the phone calls. In reality, they probably just want to know how long you might be away for in order to plan covering your work.

ArkhamOffett · 27/10/2014 09:22

Don't argue with your manager. Write down your 'script' which is "Still not fit for work, seeing GP again tomorrow" and end the call when you've sai that.

Whooshtheyweregone · 27/10/2014 09:27

I have never worked for a company where it was acceptable to email in sick. You always need to ring in sick yourself. None of the companies I have worked for would allow someone to ring on sick on your behalf either unless you were in hospital. Maybe your boss is trying to get hold of you to ensure that company policy is complied with and
maybe they are genuinely concerned about you!

JubJubBirds · 27/10/2014 09:27

I would just call back asap, otherwise I'd be thinking about it all day. Take a deep breath, do it quickly, stick to what you need to say/hear and hang up if you need to. Get it over and done with.

MissBattleaxe · 27/10/2014 09:29

Is there a HR department you could deal with instead? They are usually very understanding and can liaise with your boss.

Nancy66 · 27/10/2014 09:29

I think you should make a call.

it's not unreasonable that they may need to talk to you about covering your role etc.

it's unprofessional to email in sick anyhow. If I was your boss I would be annoyed at that.

Spindarella · 27/10/2014 09:30

Agree, avoiding it will make you think about it for longer. Your workplace is allowed to contact you when you're off sick.

You need to be very careful with how you have reported your absence.

RJnomore · 27/10/2014 09:31

Our sickness policy says that we as managers are required to have spoken contact with employees at certain days throughout sickness absence. I think its day 1,4,7 off the top of my head (not had anyone on long term yet)

LadyRabbit · 27/10/2014 09:33

I would return the calls to 1) confirm that you are unable to come in to work, 2) have the rest of the day free from worrying about it and 3) face it rather than run away, which appears unprofessional and might be held against you if your work situation remains tricky and potentially precarious.

ClawHandsIfYouBelieveInFreaks · 27/10/2014 09:33

I agree that a phonecall might be needed and this is possibly to do with safeguarding.

Security wise, anyone could email in for you and you could be in danger.

Could you phone her up and say "I'm just checking in but can't talk as am currently in the doctor's waiting room. I'm not well at all but will stay in touch..bye." and hang up.

Nancy66 · 27/10/2014 09:33

you also run the risk of losing sick pay entitlement if you don't adhere to the company policy. and that's something you really don't want the worry of

Piffpaffpoff · 27/10/2014 09:34

I agree with the others who say answer it. If you don't answer it, then you will get more and more anxious. Work out what you want to say, write it down, stick to it during the call, don't get drawn into any arguing. So, something like

  • I am not able to come to work today
  • I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, I will update you after that.

If your boss is badgering you about what is wrong with you, when you will be back etc, just keep repeating them. Don't hang up on them, but if it is getting too much just say "I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, I will update you after that. Thank you for calling, goodbye."

I've been in your shoes and it's awful, but part of the recovery process for me was about regaining some control and that meant starting to deal with things and her, rather than avoiding them. (I don't say that to be harsh, I'd just spent so long 'hiding' from things I'd got myself down a big hole and it's hard to get out of, but you can. It just takes time)

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