To be really upset that not a single member of my family cares about my son?

[sanityisamyth]

I have a 10 month old son. There's issues with my family (and my "D"H - ultra long thread on here) but I have tried to make amends and get in contact.

A lot of my family, including my mother and sister, one of my aunts and all 7 of my cousins are on FB.

Not a single person in my family EVER asks me how my son is, apart from my dad and my step mum, who e-mail me frequently. They can never travel to see him as my step mum is ill but we travel to see them (300 miles) every couple of months.

Last night I put a video on FB of my son giggling his head off about something, and a picture of him swimming, and standing up unsupported. A lot of my family were on FB last night and this morning. My aunt has liked some video of a cart horse this morning but only 1 of my cousins has "liked" one of the photos. No comment or anything.

It's not just these, it's all the time. Whenever I post anything of him, whether it's a status or a video there's very little acknowledgement from any of the family.

I was going to organise his 1st birthday party but I really don't think anyone will come to it? AIBU to feel really hurt?

Concentrate on the positive OP. As people have said there are lots of possible reasons re. facebook, but you have your dad and step-mum, you have friends and you have a beautiful little boy. You are feeling low now, so you are only seeing all the negatives in your life and probably about yourself too. But you have a lot of positives, enjoy.

I say this as something who has, in the past, spent more time worrying about the friend that got away than about the faithful loving friends I had around me.

Delete your family, they are crap. Even better go NC, they are destroying your self esteem.

They sound so much like my family. When my abusive XP turned up at her house looking for me after I had run away when he tried to suffocate me, she invited him in for a cuppa and a chat about my 'awful temper' DD is the only grandchild and is likely to stay that way. When I phone mum she never rings me she will talk about her dog for an hour and not ask once about me or DD. Describing my relationship with my mum to a colleague, I got asked 'are you sure she actually likes you?', um no I'm not actually

I should have gone nc years ago but I am weak.

Thanks guys :) feeling a bit better having read that. Just been for a coffee with a friend who's daughter is going through similar. She's leaving her partner. My friend said that if her daughter can bring up her 7 month single handed then so can I, if I need/want to. Support is making me feel 10 times better. Thank you x

Ladyluck10 I went NC with my sister as she was violent towards me over several years. She did horrendous things to me and my mother and the rest of her family ignored what I as going on. I did everything I could to try to keep the house running when my mother was at work but she did nothing to support or protect me, even when I was 10 years old. I suppose nothing changes.

She always said she didn't want to be a grandmother. The last time I saw her (August time I think) I suggested she hold my son and maybe get to know him. She said "if I must".

I think you're all right. NC with the lot of them might be the way forward. They probably wouldn't even notice!

Oldermummy1 I'm in somerset. We've got a little support group that we put together from our breastfeeding support group but I hardly get to see anyone since I went back to work in September full time.

I think there's a plan to meet up on Thursday so that will be nice :)

She always said she didn't want to be a grandmother.

that's what my mother said to me!

but when did she expect me to have kids then? I was already 37 fgs. I told her that her MIL wouldn't have said such a thing when she announced she was pg with me.

She was all over my dsis when she had her kids...

Basically, my DM was not interested or invested in my happiness. she preferred me to suffer or be miserable than be happy.

She was spectacularly rubbish when I left my abusive ex after 10 years. she was even more rubbish when she moved hundreds of miles away without telling me where etc.

We're NC now, due to her and her vile H turning up at my door shoving and barging their way around my home, terrorising my DS and then refusing to leave. Not even when I called the police.

Cut the cord love, cut her loose, and the rest of the sorry bunch. getr rid of your H and be free. you won't regret it, i promise!

Thanks Hissy :)

That's what I'm worried about in a way. My family have always preferred my psychotic younger sister - inviting her to family gatherings etc. and my youngest sister hero worships her. If either of them have children they'll be very popular I'm sure.

Sorry to hear you've been in a similar situation Hissy. It really sucks. I honestly can't understand what I've done wrong which makes it more painful and un-understandable.

I realised a little while ago that non of my SIL's had liked anything since about Easter. I don't post that much really, maybe two or three times a week tops with a photo of the kids or occasionally something interesting. It was quite clear that they have hidden me and I was initially hurt as it showed that they have no interest in being an auntie to my children. Chatted to my mum about it and then I decided to hide them. I feel totally fine about it now but FB takes a much lower priority these days for me anyway. I have no idea what's going on in their life but at least I don't have to read uber preachy religious posts

Lol lemon I like that! I can't see any benefits from being friends with any of my family. None of them have ever supported me. A FB cull will be in operation later :D

I'm sorry OP, it is unfair but would your son really be better off spending time with these people and with them in his life? Sounds like with the exception of your dad and stepmum, all the others have been let downs and toxic to one degree or another.

I'm glad you are going to cull them all, if they aren't interested in you and yours then they don't deserve to know what's happening in your life or have your attention on them.

Thanks wantsto I've gone one step further - I've deactivated my account. I'm sure none of them will notice but at least I can't worry about them not caring if I don't post anything.

I don't have a working mobile at the moment so none of them can even text me to ask me. Bliss. Going to spend 2 days in London tomorrow looking at the poppies at the Tower of London which I'm really looking forward to. Hopefully I can forget all about this crap :)

That sounds like a very good plan. Fuck them if they can't be arsed, they aren't worth it. Have a great time in London tomorrow.

well done you! How empowering. The people who really care will find other ways of contacting you