to leave 4 yo in swimming class and go for a swim myself?

[moodoperator]

My DW thinks it's completely unreasonable of me to even consider going for a swim myself while my 4 yo is at a swimming class (with an adult instructor) in a pool with at least one lifeguard. If I was swimming, I'd be in the same pool and he'd be able to see me.

Am I losing my mind ?

A friend suggested a compromise of watching the first couple of classes and then seeing how comfortable we both feel with leaving him alone and it was, er, blown out of the water completely.

I know parents who swim while their dcs are in classes at Stratford - then the parents swim with the kids after the lesson.

Echoing others that I'd do it once the 4yo was comfortable in the lesson, but I'd also watch occasionally. If you're both swimming together afterwards, just 20 min or so, that would be a lovely thing to do. My dcs used to attend a pool close by where you could watch them, and I did. Then we moved to a pool that's so small parents cannot watch. Funnily enough they have improved so much with me not watching!

If he's having wobbles then you really need to be there for him until he settles. I can understand better why your DW doesn't want you to leave him.

It might be wise perhaps to talk to the instructor about your plan above and get their opinion. I've 4dcs around this age - 7, 6, 4 and 2 - and it is defiantly true that each would react different in this situation. If he is upset when you go for a swim, then watch, swim with him afterwards. I'm sure he'd be confident enough after a while.

I have to say id be a bit peeved if my dh did this because he has a similar attitude that he only really does stuff with the kids that he will enjoy or take part in too. I think the kids pick up on his lack of interest in their interests

There is a huge difference in taking an interest in their interests (taking them to lessons, asking how they went, encouraging them) and being a winging martyr who has to sit and watch every thing your child does. Give them some room! Show then that you are a human being without your own wants and needs (a bit of exercise) and not just an empty vessel post birth.

The only worry I would have is that I might miss them swimming without armbands for the first time. Apart from that I'd say go for it. And it's good for your dcs to see their parents exercising too I think.